I feel like a python. During the workshop last weekend, I devoured a huge amount of information and now it's just sitting there while I slowly start to digest. Digesting could take weeks. Or months.
Over the first couple days of practice this week, I started to build a clearer mental picture of what I had learned. I thought to myself: 'Okay, I kind of have a handle on this.'
But I really didn't and I don't. I will...eventually. I know for certain that a month from now, I'll still be having these awesome lightbulb moments when something D told me a million times during the workshop suddenly comes into sharp focus. "Oh. THAT'S what he was trying to get me to do!"
Case in point: Bhujapidasana.
Pre-workshop, I shot a nice little video of Bhujapidasana. This was back in my 'glory days' of Bhuja. This month, I had finally come to peace with the pose and could pull it off with grace and confidence.
Now? I'm back to struggling. Over the weekend, D got me started trying to jump into it. This hasn't been going very well, but every morning I try at least three times before coming into the pose my old way and moving on.
It took a day or two, but I finally figured out that if I shoot my feet forward with the intention of plopping them on the floor, I'm not going to get anywhere. I need to keep faith that I will actually land on my arms. I literally need to 'pretend' that's possible.
So I try and most of the time, I land on my bum. And that's if I'm lucky! When I actually *do* land on my arms, it HURTS. I have a big bruise on my left tricep from one of my hopeful crash landings.
I need to keep my chin up - literally, as well as figuratively. When he was helping me learn this, D held his hand in front of me to provide a Driste, then offered feedback on what my head was doing as I jumped forward: "No, it dropped a bit. Dropped a bit again. You did it again..."
It feels impossible. But today, on the third repetition, I finally jumped roughly onto my arms. And stayed there. To celebrate, I lowered to the floor and completed the pose. It was not the 'prettiest' Bhujapidasana in the history of the pose at least I did it.
Just don't get me started on the exit. *sadtrombone*