Phew! I’m glad THAT practice is over with! I had a hard time this morning. My practice was so bad, I gave up on Astanga and invented an entirely new yoga: I’m calling it Futztanga. It’s a style of yoga where you do a pose then take an extra breath or two. Do another pose then carefully study your fingernails. Vinaysa and...pet the dog! Jump back and...child’s pose! Or wander to the window and see what the weather is like. Or...
A few times, I realised that I was just standing there on my mat, gazing around in an addled way, completely lost. I had become so caught up in the fascinating whirls of my own brain that I just lost my place.
Um...where was I?
Yeah, it was THAT bad.
Also, I felt stiff and weak. How is it possible that I can barely lift up when I’ve been doing this for years now? Hey arms! Get with the programme!
And the Turtle is still MIA, which made me feel like the Big Loser Ashtangi who can’t bind her own Supta K (not that there’s anyone around to help me anyway, though for a moment I was tempted to recruit my neighbour).
Ahhhh....bad practices! They make the good ones sweeter, right?
Ironically, backbends were all easy-peasy and terrific today. Maybe it was the Magic of Low Expectations!
After I finished, I was making breakfast and dropped a band new jar of really terrific gourmet-organic-fancy-expensive almond butter on the kitchen floor. SPLAT! Almond butter, now with glass shards...yum.
And that’s when I finally realised what was going on. Some women get pissy with PMS. Others get depressed. Me? I get really clumsy. And a bit bloated. And weak. And stiff. And frustrated. My LH is incoming, probably before the week is out. No wonder the Turtle fled!
This week, the 70s Yoga Ladies don their tights, unroll the persian rugs and strike a pose.
I know some of you are probably wondering what on earth they’re doing.
So I looked it up:
“This is an exercise that will give you that slim waistline so desired by every woman, and ‘spare tyres’ will disappear.”
Awesome! I’ll try this. Maybe my Turtle will come back!