Day 38

I saved my practice for the afternoon today, opting to do some cleaning and catching up on stuff in the morning before I taught my class downtown. I was riding around the city on my bicycle running errands so by the time I got back, I was quite warmed up. With the whole afternoon stretching out in front of me, I felt like I had all the time in the world and I just reveled in it! I truly enjoy my practice today.

It was more than just being in the moment - I savoured every pose and found it very easy to focus. Some days, I feel like I have to force myself to practice, but today, I felt like I was really taking time for myself and I loved every minute of it. Even poses I'm normally not keen on (Purvottanasana comes to mind here) were pleasant. When I finished, I had a crazy (and very brief) thought that it would be fun to do it again. I think I'll save it for tomorrow ;-)

My knee felt better than it has in days and I was able to do a few of the half-lotus postures. Marichyasana B and D are still out of the question so I mindfully practised Marichyasana A and C twice. I found that C was deeper the second time around. It's been very interesting to observe the pity party my ego throws for itself whenever I approach a pose that I was doing easily a week ago and now need to be cautious of with my sensitive knee. The knee pain has allowed me to back off of some of these poses and enjoy (and deepen them) in different ways. But there's a part of me that doesn't want to admit that I can't do something.

I just tell my ego that it's all part of the process.

My backbends are back! For today, at least. I used blocks against the wall for the first two Urdhva Danurasana but the last one I did without props and it felt fantastic. I don't think a backbend has ever felt so good! I'm really happy about this because it's foreshadows better days when I'll be off this medication and the joint pain will dissipate. I'm so looking forward to that (it won't happen until the Fall, probably).

I still do handstands against the wall, but I try to balance on my own once I'm up. Today, I did three lovely handstands and held one of them for 10 breaths, balancing on my own. I've never done this before, but it felt easy. I felt like I was floating.

And apparently, my transverse abdominus was there all along - I just needed to send it a memo letting it know that its services are required in Sirsasana. I came into headstand with straight legs today! I did it twice, so I guess it's not a fluke. Since Sirsasana is one of my favourite poses and I had lots of time, I held it for 35 breaths, came down and then back up for another 10.