Thursday, May 15, 2008

Day 255

It was very, very difficult to motivate myself to the mat today. I didn't feel strong today. I felt tired. A DVD was involved - I wouldn't have made it through without a gentle voice urging me forward.

Even then, I found my mind wandering, meandering, navigating the past (”Did I sound stupid? Do I talk too much? I don't think I made any sense...”) and the future (”Should I say what's on my mind? What if I'm tongue-tied? Should I...?”).

I was everywhere but the present moment and when I step outside the present moment, my perspective vanishes. I feel a bit lost.

Note to self: This is what it is. It is enough. I am who I am. I say my truth. I do my best. Now, now, now.

1 comment:

alfia said...

Hi, Kai!
Have you noticed - Thursdays are generally hard. I took this Monday off, so my Thurdsay was OK. But I will pay for it tomorrow!
Happy Friday!