Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Day 253

Another good, breath-focused practice this morning. I seem to be on a roll these days and although getting out of bed was difficult, getting on the mat was not.

I seem to be adjusting to the various changes in my life. Part of this means clearing time for the new priorities demanded by my new relationship, but a lot of it is just re-centering and coming back into myself. At times, I feel so fragmented and scattered. Other times, I feel afraid.

It has been a very different experience, going through these budding emotions against the backdrop of this intense daily practice. Yoga has been part of my life for 13 years, but never with this all-encompassing intensity. I'm finding that both yoga and meditation are helping to keep me anchored, but I also sense that my practice could easily fly away from me. Never has my discipline seemed so, well...disciplined.

So things are going well. The weather is warming, flowers are blooming, spring is a wonderful time to slowly and steadily and blissfully fall in love.

And I finally, really got jumpthroughs. It wasn't a 'eureka' moment for me as much as a gradual discovery that “Yes, I can do this!” If I really work at it, I can do them really well too. But here's the biggest surprise (and maybe it shouldn't be): I don't always feel like working that hard and sometimes I cheat, I'm sloppy and I just don't try.

But I'm getting stronger. And all is coming, right?

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