The last thing in the world I wanted to do this morning was practise, but practise I did. I just put one foot in front of the other, took it one breath at a time: Unroll the mat, put in the DVD (I wouldn't have made it past the first sun salutation without that DVD), step onto the mat, begin.
I was hyper-aware of two things today in my practice: my breath and my strength. When nothing else seems to be going right and I'm on the edge of panic, breath is my life-line. Not Ujjayi breath, but ordinary, honest-to-goodness breathing. Breathing in and breathing out. My whole morning was about pranayama, so it makes sense that it carried into my practice.
Often, when I'm feeling low energy or overwhelmed, I feel weak. Not today. Today, my mind obediently followed along with the Primary Series, almost on autopilot and I sort of felt like an observer of my own flow - a yoga out-of-body-experience. And I was astonished at my own strength. The postures were an ebb and flow of strength (jumps, vinyasa) and softness (breathing steadily through the postures).
I thought it would be a really horrible practice, but you know what? It was one of my best ever. And not because I made any great breakthroughs or broke new ground. It was a great practice simply because I was present throughout.
Today, my practice sustained me.
Om, shanti, shanti, shanti.