This morning I woke up voiceless. The discomfort of my cold was aggravated by a night of restless sleep, punctuated by a third night of painful cramps. And to add misery to injury, I had a blistering rash all over my legs and torso.
I feel like my body is hoisting the white flag of surrender: Enough already! I give up!
I'm falling apart. And I can't fall apart. I don't have time!!!
I got up and did some Hatha yoga, but I felt broken. It's been all of two days, but I already miss my Astanga practice. My plan was to take a break from Astanga during my LH, in order to rest my shoulder. But I'm feeling so fragmented and low energy that I may go back to a (modified) Primary Series tomorrow.
Huge props go out to Maepress for leaving the comment about apple cider vinegar. I think that may have been the single thing that helped me get my voice back in time for the noon class. The Cybershala comes through for me yet again.
By the end of the day, I still had a voice, but I sounded like a version of Bob Dylan in my evening class. Then I seethed through a 3-hour meeting regarding professional standards for yoga teachers, unable to make single remark, because I couldn't. My voice was completely gone.
I know my blog has been an unrelenting festival of misery this week. I don't often have a bad week, but when I do, its a doozy.
In my darkest moments over the last few days, I've considered:
- Quitting Astanga
- Ditching my career as a teacher
- Moving to Hawaii
- I'll do my practice
- I'll plan my classes for next session
- Pay my credit card bill
Life will go on. Because that's what life does.
I hope tomorrow is better because I really can't take much more of this.
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