Vinyasa

I still don't have my voice back, but that's okay. It's the weekend and I've just discovered chocolate almond milk at the grocery store (which, warmed on the stove translates into Vegan Hot Chocolate). Plus, I don't have anywhere to go, not that I'd want to. The forecast is for days of cold and rain. Perfect weather for a time-consuming indoor project!

So commences the next phase of Operation Going Paperless: Photos and Memorabilia.

I'm a prolific keeper of old letters, cards, photographs and sentimental schtuff. These items currently fill a large portion of my only storage closet (and I've already sorted through the collection several times before - it used to take up an entire footlocker!). I've dragged this hodge-podge from state to state, cross-country, and country to country. I'm not about to drag it province to province, so let the culling begin!

Technology has caught up with my sentimental packrat tendencies. I can now scan my memories! This month, I'll be spending lots of quality time with my new scanner and the paper shredder. My goal is to whittle it all down to two small plastic bins. If holding a document in my hands doesn't trigger a gut-wrenching sentimental moment, it gets scanned and tossed.

Practice today was in the evening. I did the Suryas and a few seated poses, then closing, followed by meditation.

I didn't want to jinx myself by mentioning it here, but I've been meditating daily for over two months. I started, as I always do, with easy five-minute sessions and worked my way up to 20 minutes. I meditate before sleeping - either before my afternoon nap or at night.

Meditation is one of those things that is hard to build a habit for, but once you do, it's tremendously helpful. I'm finally at the point where I don't skip a day. Even if it means simply sitting for five minutes, I do it. Even if I'm not feeling well. Even if I'm having a bad week (especially if I'm having a bad week). It's keeping me sane!

On Thursday, I made my triumphant return to back bending and documented it with a photograph. Urdhva Dhanurasana is not looking great, but given that I haven't been practicing it very much, it doesn't look too shabby:




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Hatha

This morning I woke up voiceless. The discomfort of my cold was aggravated by a night of restless sleep, punctuated by a third night of painful cramps. And to add misery to injury, I had a blistering rash all over my legs and torso.

I feel like my body is hoisting the white flag of surrender: Enough already! I give up!

I'm falling apart. And I can't fall apart. I don't have time!!!

I got up and did some Hatha yoga, but I felt broken. It's been all of two days, but I already miss my Astanga practice. My plan was to take a break from Astanga during my LH, in order to rest my shoulder. But I'm feeling so fragmented and low energy that I may go back to a (modified) Primary Series tomorrow.

Huge props go out to Maepress for leaving the comment about apple cider vinegar. I think that may have been the single thing that helped me get my voice back in time for the noon class. The Cybershala comes through for me yet again.

By the end of the day, I still had a voice, but I sounded like a version of Bob Dylan in my evening class. Then I seethed through a 3-hour meeting regarding professional standards for yoga teachers, unable to make single remark, because I couldn't. My voice was completely gone.

I know my blog has been an unrelenting festival of misery this week. I don't often have a bad week, but when I do, its a doozy.

In my darkest moments over the last few days, I've considered:
- Quitting Astanga
- Ditching my career as a teacher
and
- Moving to Hawaii

The reality:
- I'll do my practice
- I'll plan my classes for next session
and
- Pay my credit card bill

Life will go on. Because that's what life does.

I hope tomorrow is better because I really can't take much more of this.


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Restorative

I had a rough day, but I survived. My LH hit full force in the mid-morning, just as was preparing to teach a busy noon class. I had just finished a comfortable restorative practice, draped over a bolster in various contortions for a better part of an hour. And *bham*. Frankly, I wouldn't have chosen this timing (busiest teaching day of my week) but these things are rarely 'choosable'. I carried on as best I could.

I was really basking in gratitude that I actually had a voice to teach with. It's been coming and going since yesterday. Last night, I took a hot bath and gargled salt water, used a neti pot and crossed my fingers. When I woke this morning, I emitted an experimental 'OM' and sat up joyfully in bed when I could hear it resonating through the room.

My classes went well. Tonight was special for my students: these were the last classes of a ten-week session. There was a sense of celebration, honoring all that they had learned over the previous months. My voice lasted through all four classes, but started to fade as I made my way home.

I'm now 'on holiday' from these evening classes until the New Year, so I'll get a bit of a break. I'm looking forward to it.

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