Friday, June 20, 2008

Day 278

I jumped back on the taking-my-practice seriously wagon today and did a full, non-nonsense practice using the Sharath CD. Sheesh, he counts slllloooowwwwly! In some ways, it's just easier to listen to Sharath and do everything without fuss (I'm guessing that this is even more true if you're actually in Mysore listening to Sharath). At least, it felt that way today.

This month is speeding by! I can't believe that it's already the Solstice. Tonight, I'm attending a Solstice party on the beach. The coming weekend is jam-packed, with friends, festivals, outdoor plays, and dates.

Yes, I've been dating in a big way. Two dates per week, though this week will probably be off the charts, since I already had two dates over the weekend (both on Sunday, and another cancelled or it would have been three). Who goes on a date at 9:30 on a Sunday morning? Apparently, me! Then I went to a Quaker Meeting, came home for lunch and headed back out to the very same Café for another date. The staff there must think I'm a player! ;-)

The tally is up to 7 dates so far this month and I have a few others I still need to schedule in. I'm learning some interesting things from this process:

- There's a lot of suffering out there (of course I knew that, but some of my worst dates really confirm it); many people do not know how to be happy. Many people are ruled by their pain and cannot see the good things in front of them because they're too busy looking backward. There are some deep lessons in this for me, as I move forward.

- By the time the time our 40s roll around, nearly everyone has some weird, dramatic piece of 'baggage' they're carrying around, whether it's a nervous breakdown, an ill-thought-out marriage (*raises hand*), a stalker ex-girlfriend, unhinged relatives, the ten-year relationship that fell apart, the mental illness, health problems, a partner's suicide...the list goes on. The question is: do you put this stuff on the table on the first date? Apparently, you do...*cringe*

- Chemistry is hard to gauge. I'm a great first date (I also rock job interviews) because I'm warm, engaging and able to carry a conversation with almost anybody (and believe me, on some of my dates, this skill was a real lifesaver!). But it often takes me a long while to really warm up to people. And it takes me even longer to figure out if there's any real chemistry. This can be a disadvantage for online dating because there seems to be an expectation that things will be snappy.

I suspect the last item is the biggest issue for me. It took me 15 months to figure out that I was actually attracted to my last love interest. Emotionally, I'm sometimes a slow learner.

However (as one of my friend is fond of saying), I'll never meet anyone if I don't get out there. So off I go...

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