Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Day 123

My Happy Place

I had intended to do the full primary this afternoon, but I was strapped for time and it just felt right to stop at Navasana, so I did.

It's been a good week for hips and hammies, but a difficult week for everything else. In Paschimottanasana, I found myself sinking forward, as if I could hide from all my demons merely by placing my face on my shins.

It's not so easy. I think I'm going through an emotional growth spurt of some sort. I'm coming to terms with some things that are long overdue.

This reminds me of my first experiences with yoga. I stumbled across a beginner's Iyengar video in the bargain bin at Best Buy. It was 12 years ago but I can still remember how bewildered I was by yoga. Bewildered, but I liked it. I kept coming back to it. Every morning, I carefully did each pose. Then, I laid down in Savasana and completely came undone; I laid on my mat and sobbed. I did this for a month. An hour of yoga, an hour of tears.

Then my entire life started to slowly unravel.

I had a good, deep cry this weekend. I can feel my life shifting again. I'm both fearful and exhilarated.


Michelle said...

Oh that makes me so sad. Are you okay?

Kaivalya said...

I'm okay. Sometimes, unraveling is good! Only time will tell...