My LH came on the New Moon, right on schedule for a change, but for some reason (denial?), I hadn't been expecting it. It was such a shame because I was feeling great, eating healthy foods, doing hot yoga practice every day. Then, all of a sudden - BOOM! - I turned into this Giant Basket Case, complete with emotional roller coaster rides, chocolate binges, gut splitting cramps, paranoia and tears-at-awkward-moments.
The new session has started for my pre-registered classes and I was all excited about it. I put together a great schedule, with fresh new sequences and playlists for my Hatha classes, a new approach for my Astanga classes. But my numbers are inexplicably low (which feeds neatly into LH-induced paranoia: why am I suddenly a BAD yoga teacher?).
I feel like a little kid, cringing in a corner because no one came to my birthday party. Then I messed up the Sanskrit counts in my Astanga class and stumbled over my words in the Hatha class and felt like a big loser. So I went home and ate a pile of chocolate.
And it's only Wednesday. *gulp*
But I've been practising!
Ironically, it's the one part of my life that's entirely angst-free, which is a nice change. Every day, I go to Hot Central, lay out my mat and move through the 26x2 postures. I feel invisible because nobody knows me and there's refreshingly little 'teacher drama' because I have yet to practice with the *same* teacher twice. I've been amusing myself by giving the teachers nicknames based on different kinds of nuts (I'm running out of nuts!).
On Monday, Almond was leading the class. This is the first time a teacher has paid the slightest attention to me. I was surprised he knew my name! He was very positive, dropping little alignment tips and encouraging me to go a bit deeper (I tend to hang out in my comfort zone a bit too much).
On Tuesday (the new moon), my LH arrived and I was *miserable*. But my shala buddy, Cabbage, was planning to join me and I didn't want to miss the opportunity to practice with her. So I toughed it out and honestly? It was pretty awful. On the bright side, every subsequent class has seemed easy peasy by comparison. Pecan was teaching that day and she gave me some great feedback in Ustrasana.
I think Cabbage enjoyed the class! I warned her hydrate ahead of time and to bring water. She arrived with an entire suitcase! Full of mushrooms! No, no, no, not THOSE kind of mushrooms! After class, Cabbage headed off to cook up some fabulous mushroom dumplings. Me? I slept! All afternoon! (I think Cabbage wins this round!). Stay tuned...she's coming back on Sunday!
On Wednesday, Peanut was teaching. He's lively and funny - I enjoyed his class. At least a third of the class was Bikram teachers, so the ' in jokes' were practically bouncing off the mirrors. My backbending, which was so awful yesterday, bounced back and I had a great practice.
(When all else fails, retreat to the window seat!)
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