Restorative

Wheeee! Look at me, having a holiday from Astanga! *yawn*

Yesterday, it occurred to me that with the timing of this LH, four days will have passed before I’m back on the mat doing my full practice again.

Last night, my body felt all weird and twitchy without yoga, but I know this is temporary. The feeling will soon fade, replaced by an urge to sleep in and sip tea in bed in the morning, while reading a good book. In other words, I’m getting a bit too comfy-cozy with this new routine (the ‘sleeping in’ part of it, at least) and the upcoming 6-day week is going to be a challenge (particularly, the ‘getting up’ part of it).

Also: I’m miserable and this sucks.

I know, I know! I’m supposed to be Revelling in the Sacred Power of My Womanhood, but I don’t enjoy this. In the metaphorical Red Tent, I’m the one everyone wants to kick out because I’m bitchy and won’t stop broadcasting my misery. I don’t enjoy feeling like a stranger in my own body and I don’t like being forced into inactivity through sheer necessity. And it’s not lost on me that the two most uncomfortable days of my month neatly coincided with the two busiest teaching days of my week.

So I’m taking deep, cleansing breaths, resting when I can and just trying to get through it.

I did a some restorative yoga in an effort to balance out the turbulence. That was nice, but everything feels just a bit Twilight-Zoney and up-in-the-air without the steady routine of morning practice to ground me. Makes me appreciate the ‘anchor’ that Astanga usually provides in my life.

I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to do a modified led Primary tomorrow. Until then, I’ll put on my ‘happy face’ and carry on...

*scowl*

Hatha

I have a question for you.

Say you’re on a beach at low tide, retrieving Princess Fur (who is eating something she shouldn’t, like THAT never happens!), when an Australian Shepard dog races past, followed by a Collie. An angry elephant and a hippo with a big, sharp horn are pounding down the beach, close on their heels (do hippos even have horns? well, this one did). The hippo and elephant turn and charge you. You’re frozen in place, terrified, and Princess Fur is trying to scramble out of your arms so she can continue noshing whatever it was she was eating on the sand.

What do you do?

Well, it happened to me!! And this is what I did: I woke up. *phew*

Then I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I washed the dishes, cuddled the dog, cleaned the kitchen, and read a book and finally, around 4 a.m., I managed to drift off. I woke up at 9 a.m. and my Lady’s Holiday slammed into me like a Mac truck. Pure misery for the rest of the day.

No wonder I was having nightmares!

I did some very light Hatha for about 20 minutes this afternoon. I’m reserving my remaining energies for getting through the day, including the 3 back-to-back classes I’m teaching in the evening. On minimal sleep. While feeling ‘under the weather.’

Good times.

Astanga

Getting to the mat today reminded me of a game of ‘Chutes and Ladders.’ The alarm went off at 7:30. I went back to sleep. Again, at 8 and again, I went back to sleep. I was finally up at 8:30, but I checked email and got sucked into the ‘Internet Vortex’ for awhile. Around 9, I took a salt bath and sat down to meditate. That’s when the locksmith arrived to do some work on my door.

*sigh*

Between Princess Fur’s anxiety: Woof! Roo, roo, roo! (Translation: Strange people! In our home! HIGH ALERT!) and the noise: POUND, POUND, DRILLLLLL! (I already had a headache *owmyhead*), practice wasn’t an option. So I waited it out and ate a BIG breakfast. By noon, I was still feeling miserable, but at least it was quiet and I had some privacy again. Princess Fur was napping.

It was one of those days when I seriously didn’t think I would get through my entire practice. I was almost certain I would stop at some point and give up. My belly was full of breakfast. My head was pounding. The whole practice just seemed so LONG and difficult.

When I feel this way, I don’t think about the whole thing. I approach it in bite-sized parts:

First, I decided to just get through the Sun Salutations. Done!
Then I tackled the Fundamental Standing Poses. Okay.
Then I decided to get as far as the Janus....and so on.

I didn’t make a decision about my Intermediate poses until Setu Bandhasana and then I was all “Oh, what the hell...I’ll do them!” (It’s only 8 poses, after all...). Once I got through the Intermediate backbends, Urdhva Dhanurasana and the dropbacks seemed like recreation (right now, dropbacks are my favourite part of practice, closely followed by trying to stand up from the futon *armflail*).

I wasn’t expecting a great practice today, particularly given the HUGE bowl of cereal I ate right before I stepped on the mat. I didn’t think I would be binding *anything*. Well, SURPRISE!!! I was binding *everything*. The wrist bind on the first side of Mari D is back and I was able to bind Supta Kurmasana. I guess I can’t blame my Buddha Belly (I still have it).

Dropbacks are getting better and better. No futzing necessary! I just drop back. The feet *drumrollplease* are now back on my Manduka, though woefully splayed out. Alignment! I know! I’m working on it...

My first attempted stand-up from the futon was fabulous! The second, I didn’t even get a rock in before I catapaulted wildly forward and landed on my knees. OUCH! How did THAT happen?!

It was too much for my silly brain. I tried two more times, but I couldn’t get over the new Fear. This time, it’s a Knee-bashing Fear. At least I’m coming up every time! That’s a new development.

Something is happening in my back. An opening? Nitara, my infamous ‘gremlin’ has moved into my left mid-back and she’s manifesting as muscle spasms. Side bends quiet her down. In the meantime, my backbends are getting deeper...

Behind-the-scenes footage. While I work hard trying to stand up up from the futon, Princess Fur naps:

(in my next incarnation, I want to come back as Princess Fur!)

Astanga

Phew! I’m glad THAT practice is over with! I had a hard time this morning. My practice was so bad, I gave up on Astanga and invented an entirely new yoga: I’m calling it Futztanga. It’s a style of yoga where you do a pose then take an extra breath or two. Do another pose then carefully study your fingernails. Vinaysa and...pet the dog! Jump back and...child’s pose! Or wander to the window and see what the weather is like. Or...

A few times, I realised that I was just standing there on my mat, gazing around in an addled way, completely lost. I had become so caught up in the fascinating whirls of my own brain that I just lost my place.

Um...where was I?

Yeah, it was THAT bad.

Also, I felt stiff and weak. How is it possible that I can barely lift up when I’ve been doing this for years now? Hey arms! Get with the programme!

And the Turtle is still MIA, which made me feel like the Big Loser Ashtangi who can’t bind her own Supta K (not that there’s anyone around to help me anyway, though for a moment I was tempted to recruit my neighbour).

Ahhhh....bad practices! They make the good ones sweeter, right?

Ironically, backbends were all easy-peasy and terrific today. Maybe it was the Magic of Low Expectations!

After I finished, I was making breakfast and dropped a band new jar of really terrific gourmet-organic-fancy-expensive almond butter on the kitchen floor. SPLAT! Almond butter, now with glass shards...yum.

And that’s when I finally realised what was going on. Some women get pissy with PMS. Others get depressed. Me? I get really clumsy. And a bit bloated. And weak. And stiff. And frustrated. My LH is incoming, probably before the week is out. No wonder the Turtle fled!

********************
This week, the 70s Yoga Ladies don their tights, unroll the persian rugs and strike a pose.

Oooo....fancy!

I know some of you are probably wondering what on earth they’re doing.

So I looked it up:
“This is an exercise that will give you that slim waistline so desired by every woman, and ‘spare tyres’ will disappear.”

Awesome! I’ll try this. Maybe my Turtle will come back!

Astanga

The Spiritual Posse got kettle corn this morning, a little break from the healthy stuff I usually offer them. ;-)

I’m still meditating, mostly on days that I do a full Astanga practice so that’s about six days a week. I’ve worked meditation into my pre-yoga routine: 10 minutes before I step on the mat. I feel much more focused when I meditate before practice and my breathing is more consistent. Less futzing too! I really do notice a difference.

I had a good practice, but weird! I couldn’t get the wrist bind on the right side of Marichyasana D and the Supta Kurmasana bind is GONE. I couldn’t believe it! I tried again and again before I finally accepted that it wasn’t going to happen. I haven’t lost this bind in months.

I guess I need to eat less kettle corn (hee, hee!). And cookies. And muffins. *ahem* I’ve been trying to cut back on sugar, but this weekend was really epic.

Ironically, the bind in Pasasana was just fine! Oh, Astanga! You confound me!

Backbending was really intense today. I’ve added the shoulder and hip openers back in as a preparation for Urdhva Dhanurasana. They make an huge difference. I did the pose 6 times, walking my hands in to deepen it. It feels awful. Today, I was trying to pinpoint exactly why, but I couldn’t decide. Mainly, I struggle to breath deeply. I wonder if I’ll ever feel like I can breath deeply in a backbend?

There’s been a HUGE shift in my dropbacks lately. They’re starting to feel effortless! While teaching a youth class last week, I spontaneously dropped back (cold!) and it felt natural and easy. I don’t have to gather up my courage to do it anymore and dropping back feels really good. Fun, even! I always drop back to the futon before standing up and today I noticed that instead of ‘dropping’, I’m actually arching all the way back and gently placing my hands on the futon. My back is opening up! I’m definitely feeling a shift!

I’m still ‘standing up’ from the futon, but I’m gradually getting more ‘hits’ than ‘misses’; it’s becoming more consistent. While reviewing the video clips I shot last week, I observed that I’m mainly moving ‘forward’. I think I need to also move in an ‘upward’ direction, lifting up from the mid-torso. I’m now visualizing the ‘up’ as I work on these stand-ups.

Here’s a screen capture from the infamous ‘standing up’ video:

Holy Flailing Arms, Batman! I look like I’m drowning!!

I feel like I should draw in an arrow pointing upward from my belly button!

LIFT! UP!

Hatha

My inner-party-animal is alive and well! I was out VERY late last night into the wee hours, hanging out in a pub and laughing with friends. It was SO much fun! Then I slept in until 10! I can’t remember the last time I slept in so late! Decadent :-) It was exactly what I needed to lift my spirits.

But I’m still feeling a bit tired and disoriented. I really and truly ‘took a break’ today. I did a little bit of Hatha yoga this morning, but no more than 15 minutes because I was pressed for time.

********************
Yesterday, I took my weekly State-of-the-Backbend photo (I didn’t get around to this last week):

No big changes here. I’m still in a ‘holding pattern.’

********************
My State-of-the-Dropback video clip shows some good progress, especially in contrast to the last time I filmed myself:



My feet are closer together, toes are not ‘pointing out’ *quite* as much and my landing is much more graceful. Heels are still on the floor throughout!

********************
I also filmed a ‘State-of-the-Stand-Up’ video, but I’m not going to share it here because I don’t feel quite ready to share the ‘State-of-My-Messy-Desk’ with the wider Internet (and that clip offers an panoramic view!).

Maybe next time! ;-)

Astanga

I did a led Primary this morning and for the sake of variety, I popped my old favourite, ‘Power Yoga’, into the DVD. It’s the DVD I started with, the one by Beryl Bender Birch and I haven’t practised with it since the spring. My practice has taken leaps and bounds in the past six months, so I thought it might be fun for comparison purposes.

Wow.

I wasn’t even doing Chakrasana the last time I practised with this DVD and I wasn’t doing Setu Bandhasana either (because Beryl mentions very specifically that you’re supposed to ‘learn the pose from a qualified teacher’). I waited until I was practising at the Shala to learn both Setu and Chakrasana.

I had a great practice and savoured all of the moments when I was nailing a pose that I used to struggle mightily with. It was a good confidence boost and a reminder that ‘all is coming’, even if something feels impossible in the moment (Like, at the moment, all of Intermediate!)

I can clearly remember my struggles with Marichyasana C when I used this DVD regularly. And it’s an easy pose for me now! And it was fun to do Garba Pindasana, while remembering how completely *impossible* it felt to me even a year ago.’’

********************
Quite a few of my friends and readers are working on Garba Pindasana right now and having a tough time of it. Bruises! I remember the bruises!

I recently posted some tips on the ‘Practice and All is Coming’ Blog by Amaranthinestudent and she found them very helpful. I thought I would repeat those tips here, along with some additional ones.

Tips for coming into Garba Pindasana:
- LOTS of water on the arms! Focus particularly on the area around the elbow and the wrist. On the legs, the top of the calves and the inner knees.
- Come into Lotus and insert the right arm, first lifting the left foot up out of the way to make a bigger ‘hole’ in the legs. Once your arm is through, pull your right hand toward you (even bracing it against the left hand for leverage) to get the arm further through.
- Push the left arm through the left leg. To get it further through, again try pulling the hand toward you (like you were ‘flexing’ your bicep).
- Curl your body toward your hands, round the back! This will help you get your hands over your ears.

Tips for rolling:
-Establish a smooth, steady breath *before* you start to roll.
-Move with your breath, long inhale up, long exhale backward. Try to ‘pause’ at the top of the inhalation.
-Use your Bandhas to power the rolls.
-Round your back and look toward your belly button (the ‘official’ Driste is the nose, but this really helps until you get the hang of it; tuck your chin!)

Finally, here is a small, rather embarrassing video clip that shows me doing this crazy pose. I’m hoping that it will be helpful to those of you struggling with the pose. Sometimes, it helps to ‘see’ how someone else goes about it.



I wasn’t aware I had such a ‘chicken neck’. Ug! *eyeroll*

********************
For all of a nanosecond, I was part of Owl’s groovy bookclub discussion on Trungpa’s book, ‘Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism’.

I wanted to continue, I truly did, but Princess Fur is a sloooooow reader and I haven’t been able to get the book out of her furry paws long enough to finish it (the dog didn’t ‘eat my homework’, she’s reading it!)

Here’s Fur, taking a break from her ‘beach reading.’