I had a VERY angsty, distracted, unhappy practice this morning. I can’t put a finger why, though. I was definitely feeling lethargic and my back was tweaky (I’m blaming *that* on the 10 hours of sleep I had last night. Seriously! TEN HOURS!! I never marathon sleep like that! Intermediate series is driving me into a coma!)
Also: Backbending was *dire*.
Often when I have a bad practice, I can’t get it out of my head, so I’ll think through it pose by pose, trying to troubleshoot. Seen from this lens, my practice was actually pretty good. I was doing all the stuff I usually do, binding to wrist in all my Marichyasanas, binding and crossing ankles in Supta K. Pasasana had a solid bind to fingers (my recent ‘Twisting Epiphany ‘has made this pose easy-peasy, except for the heels part, which I’m still working on).
I had my best Bhujapidasana *ever* (this silly pose is becoming one of my favourites!): smooth controlled decent to the floor, to my chin. Yay! Plus, I nailed the Bakasana exit! Lately, I’ve been pushing into my hands, focusing on using my bandhas and trying to swing both legs back at the same time. This worked the first time I tried it, but it’s been sketchy ever since.
The video clip of Kino teaching the transition has been floating around the AstangaBlogosphere again. I reviewed it and noticed that Kino suggests leaning to one side to bring one leg around and then the other side and then *staying* with the Bakasana, even if it isn’t a ‘pretty Bakasana’ (and mine never are). This morning I combined my method with her one-leg-at-a-time tip and it totally worked for me!
So, why so glum? Backbending. Stupid, impossible backbending! Urdhva Dhanurasana was uncomfortable, which should have been a warning. Then dropbacks were horrible. I did them - just three of them - but with many last-second-bailouts and angsty fussing. I nearly wimped out completely - the only thing that kept me going was a firm ‘reminder-to-self’ that this stuff isn’t ‘optional’ just because I’m practising at home.
I also tried to stand up three times (on the futon) and ended up collapsing into a Pity Puddle (also on the futon). Thank God for the futon, or I’d probably have a concussion!
I can’t remember the last time I had this much trouble with backbending. Is it the two-day vacation I took from dropping back? The avocado sushi I ate on Friday? Too many vegan cookies on Saturday? Too much sleep? It’s a mystery. I just hope it’s not one that plagues me for the rest of the week.
I didn’t get a State-of-the-Backbend photo last week. I put it off, thinking I could just take one today. Ha, ha!
So...this is what my backbend looks like when I’m angsty, uncomfortable and near tears.
I know there’s a lesson here someplace, but I’m too busy stuffing my face with peach muffins to look for it.
Tomorrow is another day!