Day 101

Today's practice flowed really well until I got to the floor, then I was very unfocused. When I'm feeling all distracted like that, my Mysore rug becomes an item of great fascination. I think I know every little thread and flaw of that thing by now. It's like a security blanket.


I skipped Marichyasana B and Marichyasana D (I can't do D anyway). I've been replacing Janu Sirsasana C with Pigeon pose, because I'm trying to open up my hips for Hanumasana (that was one of my New Years resolutions - it's not going so well).

I rushed through closing sequence and totally forgot about Sirsasana. I can't believe I did that! I love Sirsasana! I hate Kurmasana and Supta Kurmasana, but I never seem to forget those poses. If I'm going to forget something, isn't it better to forget something that makes me miserable anyway? ;-)

The jury is still out on the what day is moon day. I made an executive decision and opted to take tomorrow as my moon day. I already get up stupidly early on Thursday mornings to go to the soup kitchen, so I figured that as long as I was already up I might as well do yoga. Tomorrow I can sleep in...yay!

Regularly scheduled programming will return on Saturday. Happy moon day, all!

Day 100

Day 100 of the Ashtanga Primary Series! This is a milestone of sorts. Only 265 more days to go ;-)

I went to bed early last night and got up early this morning to practice. Although I hate waking up, I really enjoy the feeling of early morning practices. But I don't enjoy being so stiff. Once again, it was not a good shoulderstand day for me. It wasn't a good headstand day either (yesterday was - I was able to gracefully come into half bend and came out of the pose in slow motion. I felt very strong). Today was also not so good for balance.

But it was a good day for tapas - I worked through the entire primary series diligently and gave my best in every posture. It may not be much, but I'll take it. At least I made it to my mat.

Speaking of my mat, I'm officially loony: I did iron my Mysore rug. It looks so much better now!

So here's a question for my three readers: Is Thursday the moonday or is it on Friday? I keep getting different answers to this question. Google Calendar thinks it's on Friday. Tim Miller thinks it's on Thursday. My local shala says Friday. What do you think? Anyone? Anyone? Bindifry?

Day 99

I love a rainy day practice - soft light filtering in through the windows, candles burning on my altar, enough humidity to work up a good sweat.

Today was all of these. I feel like I've found my groove again and I'm enjoying my practice instead of just enduring it.

Knees felt okay today, but lately I've been feeling some soreness in my elbows, particularly at night. This, of course, could be caused by my medication, since there's a joint involved,

My back was cranky and shoulderstand felt yucky today. Funny how that one is so blissful when it's good and so uncomfortable when it isn't.

Lovely to practice on a clean sticky mat and Mysore rug. Except now my Mysore rug is all wrinkled. I'm thinking of ironing it. Does that make me weird and OCD? Or just slightly loony?! ;-)

Day 98

Today, I feel like I was really 'back' (I didn't feel like I was 'all there' during Saturday's practice). I feel at home in my body again - my strength and co-ordination is back. There were a few distracted moments here and there, but I was mostly focused.

Best of all, my half-lotus poses are back, full lotus is back. I did nearly every pose (did pigeon in place of Marichyasana D), sweated up a storm and enjoyed myself. It feels like it's been so long since I enjoyed my practice (In reality, it's probably been about a week). I'm grateful.

I used my day off yesterday to engage in some important Sauca around the apartment: tidying closets and cabinets, general cleaning and scrubbing the floors. After practice today, I soaked and scrubbed my sticky mat and washed my Mysore rug. Both needed it - the Mysore rug particularly (Yuck).

I cleaned up and tidied my altar, added a few new objects to it and meditated for the first time in weeks. I would like to start meditating daily again. I can't believe how easily I've fallen away from that. I'm going to try to get into a routine of meditating before I go to bed each night and establish a ritual around that - light some candles, read something inspiring and really savour the quiet time for myself.

On a sad note, I'm keeping all of the SoCal/San Diego Ashtangis in my thoughts today as the fires continue to encroach on the San Diego area. I lived in there as a child and my heart hurt when I read about the fires in Escondido. Julie has been evacuated and many more probably have as well. Love and blessings to all of you. Hope you and your families remain safe and your homes are spared during this horrible time.

Day 97

I'm back. It was a difficult Ladies Holiday. It lasted longer than usual and I felt worse than usual.

I continue to be amazed at the dramatic changes that take place in my body throughout my monthly cycle. I certainly noticed this when I was doing a regular Hatha Yoga practice and even before I did any yoga at all. But Ashtanga is unique in that it's a series of consistent postures. When you do the same thing day after day after day, you have a basis for comparison and any variation stands out in sharp relief.

In the week leading to LH, I often notice a not-so-subtle tightening of my hips. As a result, my knees are more sensitive and I tend to shy way from the half-lotus poses. My hamstrings are tighter than usual and I seem to have less mobility in my pelvis in general. Everything feels odd and out of whack. My SI joint and my lower back are always a bit cranky and sore and I'm prone to spasms. My feet hurt.

On a mental level, I'm cranky, lethargic and self-critical. The lethargy sets in a week before and I start sleeping more. But the biggest change is my overall mental state: I am SO distracted, unable to focus on anything, whether it's yoga, meditation or the book I'm currently reading. I become more self-absorbed and just a tad anti-social.

When I first started this little Ashtanga experiment, I practised right through my menstrual cycle - sans the inversions, of course. I've gradually come to appreciate the value of having a holiday. Or, to be more blunt, I'm delighted to have a vacation from practice for three days because I can paaar-tay! (read: sleep in).

Today's practice was sluggish and awkward. I'm not yet able to do the inversions, so I did my 'slacker short form' which takes about an hour. I felt really weak and clumsy, like I was borrowing a body that belonged to someone else. I hope I get mine back soon. Day off tomorrow, back on Monday.

Day 96

Took a day of rest yesterday. I felt strong and light today.

There are definitely days when the possibility of jump backs/throughs doesn't seem quite so remote and this was definitely one of them. I seem to have plateaued at the crossed-legs-toes-on-the-floor phase, mainly because Lolasana feels impossible to me (read: I can't do it). I could throw around all the usual excuses (”My torso is too long!” “My arms are too short!” “My toes just enjoy being stubbed”), but I know now that it's probably only a matter of time and these breakthroughs will come when they're meant to come. So I'm waiting patiently.

Marichyasana C felt was really good today! Instead of binding right away, I focused on the twist, kept twisting deeper and deeper from the hips until I could bind without very much effort. Lesson learned: force doesn't work (or doesn't bring ease to a posture).

I played around with doing Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana against a wall. I taught it this way in my Saturday class. It seems to be helpful because it takes the balancing aspect out and helps students move deeper into the stretch (then we bring the balance back in and they're better for it). But today, I found that I wasn't liking the wall because it made me feel disconnected with the earth. My standing leg didn't feel as strong, spine didn't feel properly aligned.

As an alternative, I tried not leaning into the wall, but instead bringing my opposite hand (the hand-on-the-hip hand) flat against the wall while balancing on the standing leg. This was good: I felt grounded through the leg and could lengthen up through the torso, while the wall offered some stability for balance. I may try teaching it this way in the coming week.

This is one of reasons my practice so important. I need to practice yoga regularly in order to teach more effectively. When I don't practice, I simply don't have as much to offer to my students. It's a direct correlation: the more I practice, the better feedback I get from my classes.

Day 95

The crankiness, lethargy and stiffness is no longer a mystery. My Aunt Flo is coming a bit early for her monthly visit - she'll be making her appearance in the next day or so. I should have known.

I took it easy this morning and did the short form, really enjoyed myself. Such a contrast to yesterday!

The only pose that struck me with dread was Marichyasana C - yes, that again. The twist just feels impossible this time of month and I don't think it's just the bloating. On the other hand, Purvottanasana has been feeling so good lately. I think this new enjoyment is due to more open shoulders. And I've been bringing my hands further back as I come into the posture - it's made such a difference.

The weather is getting cooler out, finally. I had the door closed as I practised. I wore a light coat and gloves on my morning walk - the temperature was 4C. It won't be long before I'll be wearing my toque!

The sun is moving deeper into the southern sky and in the past week, it finally started peeking into my apartment in long, slanty beams. I love practising in a sunbeam - it made my heart happy!