Good practice today, though a bit rushed. I wasted too much time on the computer this morning and ended up with a very small window of time to walk the dog and do my practice. Then I taught classes all afternoon.
I'm faithfully doing my pick-ups with every vinyasa and I'm definitely getting stronger. Sometimes, I can even lift myself up and stay there for a second!
Lately, it's been difficult to get to the mat, but I'm happy to be there once I begin.
I've been going deep into my meditation lately, really connecting with something rich and sustaining. I guess I'm going through some spooky philosophical phase of my grieving process - make that 'grief lite' since I don't truly have anything to grieve over.
I already have two dates planned for this coming weekend, plus I'm going dancing, attending a party and participating in a group bike ride. I'm either ambitious or totally over-scheduled - or maybe a little bit of both. But at least I'm keeping myself busy!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Day 271
Well, I finally broke my 'Ashtanga streak'.
Since January 1, I hadn't taken a single 'extra' day off from practice. I had completed the entire Primary Series every applicable day, breaking only for Saturdays, Moon Days and my Ladies' Holiday. I'm actually pretty proud of myself for carrying on this long!
As some of you know, I'm going through an oddly difficult break-up. Odd, because the relationship never became very serious and difficult because despite mutual attraction and great compatibility, we failed to make it work. I willingly take on my share of responsibility for this; I'm still sorting through what I might have done differently
I have good days and bad days. But for some reason, the sorrow and futility of it all came crashing down on my shoulders particularly hard yesterday. I just couldn't face myself on the mat. I couldn't face myself, period. I needed a break, a chance to back off and reconsider my options. I needed a reason to go on.
So I took the day off and vowed that I would get a fresh start in the morning. Today, I took a few moments before practice to centre myself and connect with what sustains me, then I did my practice.
It wasn't a great practice, but it was a complete one - in so many ways beyond the physical aspects.
And I'm moving forward. There's someone out there for everybody - I truly believe that. My time is coming - I believe that too. I'm keeping my heart open (oh, those backbends were arduous this morning!!!) and trusting that everything will unfold as it should. Grace is everywhere, including on my mat.
All is coming.
Since January 1, I hadn't taken a single 'extra' day off from practice. I had completed the entire Primary Series every applicable day, breaking only for Saturdays, Moon Days and my Ladies' Holiday. I'm actually pretty proud of myself for carrying on this long!
As some of you know, I'm going through an oddly difficult break-up. Odd, because the relationship never became very serious and difficult because despite mutual attraction and great compatibility, we failed to make it work. I willingly take on my share of responsibility for this; I'm still sorting through what I might have done differently
I have good days and bad days. But for some reason, the sorrow and futility of it all came crashing down on my shoulders particularly hard yesterday. I just couldn't face myself on the mat. I couldn't face myself, period. I needed a break, a chance to back off and reconsider my options. I needed a reason to go on.
So I took the day off and vowed that I would get a fresh start in the morning. Today, I took a few moments before practice to centre myself and connect with what sustains me, then I did my practice.
It wasn't a great practice, but it was a complete one - in so many ways beyond the physical aspects.
And I'm moving forward. There's someone out there for everybody - I truly believe that. My time is coming - I believe that too. I'm keeping my heart open (oh, those backbends were arduous this morning!!!) and trusting that everything will unfold as it should. Grace is everywhere, including on my mat.
All is coming.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Day 270
Hot, sweaty, humid practices are back! On Friday, the weather took a sharp turn towards summer. The weekend was warm and damp, sort of like taking a warm bath - except the *entire city* was a warm bath.
If you can't tell, I'm a great fan of summer. I'm so glad it's finally here! While I don't always love the heat (by August, it's starting to get old), I do enjoy sweating buckets during my yoga practice and that's exactly what I did this morning. Fabulous! Yoga on five hours of sleep wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, but I think I was running on my second wind! (I attended two parties last night and stayed out until 3 a.m. - waaaay past my bedtime).
Three of my favourite summer festivals took place this weekend: Woofstock (festival for dogs), the Muhtadi Drum Festival and my own neighbourhood street fest. Woofstock was fun, overwhelming and very commercial. The neighbourhood street festival was disappointing - small and poorly planned. It has been on the decline in recent years. Still, it was fun to wander down the main street (car free!) and look around.
With all these festivities, I abandoned CRON completely and spent the weekend enjoying new food. I had lunch at the Drum festival today. I always try to eat something new and different there - they have a wide selection of interesting ethnic foods vendors. This year I got a Malaysian dumpling called a Murtabak (spicy!) and for dessert, I had a Jamaican coconut-ginger cake. Both were delicious!
I stayed and watched the Ragin' Asian Women Taiko drummers and a steel-pan band. I didn't bring my own drum along this year, but I do plan to return to the drum circles this summer.
Then I came home and napped ( and completely slept through a pretty spectacular thunderstorm!)
Yay! Summer!
If you can't tell, I'm a great fan of summer. I'm so glad it's finally here! While I don't always love the heat (by August, it's starting to get old), I do enjoy sweating buckets during my yoga practice and that's exactly what I did this morning. Fabulous! Yoga on five hours of sleep wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, but I think I was running on my second wind! (I attended two parties last night and stayed out until 3 a.m. - waaaay past my bedtime).
Three of my favourite summer festivals took place this weekend: Woofstock (festival for dogs), the Muhtadi Drum Festival and my own neighbourhood street fest. Woofstock was fun, overwhelming and very commercial. The neighbourhood street festival was disappointing - small and poorly planned. It has been on the decline in recent years. Still, it was fun to wander down the main street (car free!) and look around.
With all these festivities, I abandoned CRON completely and spent the weekend enjoying new food. I had lunch at the Drum festival today. I always try to eat something new and different there - they have a wide selection of interesting ethnic foods vendors. This year I got a Malaysian dumpling called a Murtabak (spicy!) and for dessert, I had a Jamaican coconut-ginger cake. Both were delicious!
I stayed and watched the Ragin' Asian Women Taiko drummers and a steel-pan band. I didn't bring my own drum along this year, but I do plan to return to the drum circles this summer.
Then I came home and napped ( and completely slept through a pretty spectacular thunderstorm!)
Yay! Summer!
Friday, June 6, 2008
Day 269
Veering off topic a bit today into the realm of Calorie Restriction.
I just finished the book 'The CR Way' by Paul McGlothin and Meredith Averill, two big names in the Calorie Restriction community.
I bought my own copy of the book because it has recipes! (the thought of all of those CR-friendly recipes really quickened my pulse!). It's a terrific book, very readable, although I think it's better suited for someone who has already read The Longevity Diet by Delaney/Walford (in order to learn the basics about Calorie Restriction). My one quibble with this book is also the thing I like about it: the emphasis on a particular approach to CR and glucose control. This emphasis can lead the reader to believe that CR is impossible for normal folks (it's not; there are many, many ways to do CR), but as someone who's been dabbling in CR for over a year, it's very compelling.
As part of my 'bootcamp approach' to alleviate my post-heartache-blues, I've been getting up at 5 a.m. again and, per the CR Way, eating a 'teaser meal' before my asana practice. My teaser meal is 50 grams of lightly steamed carrots and a half-teaspoon of cod liver oil, along with a cup of hot water w/ lemon juice.
Okay, I know some of you out there are rolling your eyes, but keep in mind: I don't normally eat sugar, so carrots taste like a dessert these days and I actually like the cod liver oil (it's lemon flavoured!).
I think this has made a real difference in my morning yoga practice. The teaser meal is not a lot of food, but just enough to give me a boost and keep me from feeling famished. The glucose in the meal is supposed to jumpstart the body's metabolism and cause the insulin response to kick in. By doing light exercise afterward, the glucose levels are coaxed down again, but the body is 'warmed up', so to speak, for breakfast, which I eat afterward.
The hardest part about incorporating glucose control into CR is the evening fast, which sounds like such a great idea in theory but it's tough to do. I'm already accustomed to eating supper in the mid-afternoon because I so often teach classes in the evening, but I'm also used to snacks. The CR Way recommends that you eat your supper early (as early as 1 p.m.) and eat nothing else until the next morning. This is a 16 -18 hour fast. I never seem to make it - I almost always cave in and eat a snack in the early evening.
I think I will eventually arrive at a compromise that is suitable to my lifestyle. I like the idea of the fast, but because I'm very active, I think my body needs some calories in the evening - maybe some dried fruits and a few nuts.
Interestingly, this approach to diet is very similar to that of Ashtanga teacher Kino McGregor, who limits her evening food intake in preparation for early morning practice (per this excellent summary from Arturo).
On a related note, I'm continuing to cut sugar out of my diet. My sugar consumption is now limited to one day per week (a few cookies on Sunday). I eat small amounts of fruit-sweetened foods and sugar-free hard candies and I'm gradually cutting back on these. I'm investigating stevia for sweetening my herbal tea. I do have cravings, but I find that I'm able to control them by eating dried fruit a couple times a day. The cravings are most unbearable, of course, during my monthly Ladies' Holiday. ;-) I'm not sure how to handle that!
Practice was great today. I felt strong and clear-headed. The pick-ups are coming along nicely. Every so often, I'll pick up and feel like I'm really strong. Some of the soreness in my triceps is dissipating. Backbends were not great today, but Sirsasana felt good and strong. I held Uth Plutih for 5 solid counts.
I just finished the book 'The CR Way' by Paul McGlothin and Meredith Averill, two big names in the Calorie Restriction community.
I bought my own copy of the book because it has recipes! (the thought of all of those CR-friendly recipes really quickened my pulse!). It's a terrific book, very readable, although I think it's better suited for someone who has already read The Longevity Diet by Delaney/Walford (in order to learn the basics about Calorie Restriction). My one quibble with this book is also the thing I like about it: the emphasis on a particular approach to CR and glucose control. This emphasis can lead the reader to believe that CR is impossible for normal folks (it's not; there are many, many ways to do CR), but as someone who's been dabbling in CR for over a year, it's very compelling.
As part of my 'bootcamp approach' to alleviate my post-heartache-blues, I've been getting up at 5 a.m. again and, per the CR Way, eating a 'teaser meal' before my asana practice. My teaser meal is 50 grams of lightly steamed carrots and a half-teaspoon of cod liver oil, along with a cup of hot water w/ lemon juice.
Okay, I know some of you out there are rolling your eyes, but keep in mind: I don't normally eat sugar, so carrots taste like a dessert these days and I actually like the cod liver oil (it's lemon flavoured!).
I think this has made a real difference in my morning yoga practice. The teaser meal is not a lot of food, but just enough to give me a boost and keep me from feeling famished. The glucose in the meal is supposed to jumpstart the body's metabolism and cause the insulin response to kick in. By doing light exercise afterward, the glucose levels are coaxed down again, but the body is 'warmed up', so to speak, for breakfast, which I eat afterward.
The hardest part about incorporating glucose control into CR is the evening fast, which sounds like such a great idea in theory but it's tough to do. I'm already accustomed to eating supper in the mid-afternoon because I so often teach classes in the evening, but I'm also used to snacks. The CR Way recommends that you eat your supper early (as early as 1 p.m.) and eat nothing else until the next morning. This is a 16 -18 hour fast. I never seem to make it - I almost always cave in and eat a snack in the early evening.
I think I will eventually arrive at a compromise that is suitable to my lifestyle. I like the idea of the fast, but because I'm very active, I think my body needs some calories in the evening - maybe some dried fruits and a few nuts.
Interestingly, this approach to diet is very similar to that of Ashtanga teacher Kino McGregor, who limits her evening food intake in preparation for early morning practice (per this excellent summary from Arturo).
On a related note, I'm continuing to cut sugar out of my diet. My sugar consumption is now limited to one day per week (a few cookies on Sunday). I eat small amounts of fruit-sweetened foods and sugar-free hard candies and I'm gradually cutting back on these. I'm investigating stevia for sweetening my herbal tea. I do have cravings, but I find that I'm able to control them by eating dried fruit a couple times a day. The cravings are most unbearable, of course, during my monthly Ladies' Holiday. ;-) I'm not sure how to handle that!
Practice was great today. I felt strong and clear-headed. The pick-ups are coming along nicely. Every so often, I'll pick up and feel like I'm really strong. Some of the soreness in my triceps is dissipating. Backbends were not great today, but Sirsasana felt good and strong. I held Uth Plutih for 5 solid counts.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Day 268
Today was a better day. Backbends were good, hamstrings were open, arms were VERY tired but I was able to get my feet off the ground on my pick ups nearly every time.
I'm actually pleased to feel the soreness in my arms. It's the feeling of progress!
So, I drink green tea every morning. This may not sound likes it's related to Ashtanga, but it *is* related to the meme I've been tagged on, by the lovely YogaMum. I usually don't do memes but I'm feeling at a bit of a loss today about what to write, so the timing is good.
And all of you will get a rare glimpse into my elusive personal life (yes! I do have one!)
I'm not going to post the rules of the meme because I hate pointless rules. There are no rules.
What were you doing five years ago?
I was training my puppy and working in a friend's new art gallery in a fancy schmancy historic district of the city. I had just left my corporate job and was doing daily yoga study with my teachers at a wonderful neighbourhood studio (which is now gone, run into the ground by a careless owner). I had already applied to and been accepted into a very well-regarded and competitive Yoga Teacher Training, which would start in the fall.
What are five things on your to-do list for today?
1) Laundry (didn't do)
2) Groom/clip/bath dog (didn't do)
3) Class prep for Friday youth class (done!)
4) Catch up on email (done!)
5) Ask cute redhead out on date (done!)
What are five snacks you enjoy?
1) Yogurt covered almonds
2) Carob covered almonds
3) Honey dates
4) Dried apricots
5) Walnuts (especially in combination with any type of dried fruit)
What are five things you would do if you were a billionaire?
1) Put enough money into savings and investments that I would never need to worry about money again.
2) Buy a house in my uber-expensive neighbourhood here in the city.
3) Create educational funds for all of my nieces and nephews
4) Create a scholarship fund for my youth yoga students
5) Open up a yoga studio
What are five of your bad habits?
1) Worrying about things that are completely outside my control
2) Chewing on my fingers when I'm nervous
3) Giving in to sugar cravings
4) Spending too much time on my computer
5) Procrastinating
What are five places where you have lived?
(Note: there are FAR more than 5)
1) Illinois
2) Colorado
3) California
4) Hawaii
5) Ontario
What are five jobs you’ve had?
1) Band Instrument Repair Technician (dent-work was my specialty!)
2) Jazz Musician (electric bass guitar - no joke!)
3) Professional Field Archaeologist (I have an MA in archaeology)
4) National IT Manager for a Big Evil Transnational Corporation (great money, but soul-sucking as hell)
5) Yoga Teacher/small business owner
Five people I tag (I hate tagging specific people too, so instead...):
1) Anyone who listens to Maddona
2) Anyone who likes to eat figs
3) Anyone who sleeps in the buff
4) Anyone who thinks that Celine Dion may actually be the anti-christ
5) Anyone whose middle name is 'Ann'
If you do the meme, please leave a comment and I'll go to your blog and read it. Because it's all about the sharing, ya know?! ;-)
I'm actually pleased to feel the soreness in my arms. It's the feeling of progress!
So, I drink green tea every morning. This may not sound likes it's related to Ashtanga, but it *is* related to the meme I've been tagged on, by the lovely YogaMum. I usually don't do memes but I'm feeling at a bit of a loss today about what to write, so the timing is good.
And all of you will get a rare glimpse into my elusive personal life (yes! I do have one!)
I'm not going to post the rules of the meme because I hate pointless rules. There are no rules.
What were you doing five years ago?
I was training my puppy and working in a friend's new art gallery in a fancy schmancy historic district of the city. I had just left my corporate job and was doing daily yoga study with my teachers at a wonderful neighbourhood studio (which is now gone, run into the ground by a careless owner). I had already applied to and been accepted into a very well-regarded and competitive Yoga Teacher Training, which would start in the fall.
What are five things on your to-do list for today?
1) Laundry (didn't do)
2) Groom/clip/bath dog (didn't do)
3) Class prep for Friday youth class (done!)
4) Catch up on email (done!)
5) Ask cute redhead out on date (done!)
What are five snacks you enjoy?
1) Yogurt covered almonds
2) Carob covered almonds
3) Honey dates
4) Dried apricots
5) Walnuts (especially in combination with any type of dried fruit)
What are five things you would do if you were a billionaire?
1) Put enough money into savings and investments that I would never need to worry about money again.
2) Buy a house in my uber-expensive neighbourhood here in the city.
3) Create educational funds for all of my nieces and nephews
4) Create a scholarship fund for my youth yoga students
5) Open up a yoga studio
What are five of your bad habits?
1) Worrying about things that are completely outside my control
2) Chewing on my fingers when I'm nervous
3) Giving in to sugar cravings
4) Spending too much time on my computer
5) Procrastinating
What are five places where you have lived?
(Note: there are FAR more than 5)
1) Illinois
2) Colorado
3) California
4) Hawaii
5) Ontario
What are five jobs you’ve had?
1) Band Instrument Repair Technician (dent-work was my specialty!)
2) Jazz Musician (electric bass guitar - no joke!)
3) Professional Field Archaeologist (I have an MA in archaeology)
4) National IT Manager for a Big Evil Transnational Corporation (great money, but soul-sucking as hell)
5) Yoga Teacher/small business owner
Five people I tag (I hate tagging specific people too, so instead...):
1) Anyone who listens to Maddona
2) Anyone who likes to eat figs
3) Anyone who sleeps in the buff
4) Anyone who thinks that Celine Dion may actually be the anti-christ
5) Anyone whose middle name is 'Ann'
If you do the meme, please leave a comment and I'll go to your blog and read it. Because it's all about the sharing, ya know?! ;-)
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Day 267
And life goes on.
In my last post, I was too busy naval-gazing and feeling sorry for myself to mention my newest project: pick-ups.
No, no! Not pick-up lines! (though I'm working on those too - nothing like dating to keep the ol' mad skillz fresh).
I mean pick ups as in rooting my little hands into the floor and lifting my body up off of it. Pick-ups as in eventually swinging my legs back into a true, honest-to-goodness jump back.
I'm SO not there yet.
I was totally inspired by this post about jump-throughs from the amazing Elise (of Mysore Musings), who makes it look so easy. I'm such a sucker for a good Yoga YouTube moment. I watched her video of 'life ups' (Part III, in her post) over and over again. Then I tried to do what she was doing. Over and over again. Thanks, Elise! Now my triceps hurt. ;-)
Seriously! My triceps *hurt*. This is great news!!! I haven't had this intensity of arm-and-shoulder-OMG-what-did-you-do-to-me pain since last year when I first started this whole Ashtanga project (and did multiple Chaturangas for the first time).
Ouch. That means that whatever it is I'm doing, it's making me stronger. All is coming, baby! ;-)
So here's my plan (because if you've been reading me for very long, you know I'm a planner).
Phase 1 (started on Monday): Baby pick ups in every applicable vinyasa, folding knees to chest and just trying to get my feet off the floor (I can actually do this about 75% of the time). Uth Plutih for 5 counts. When I can lift my feet each time and feel strong, move on to Phase 2...
Phase 2: Pick ups and swing back and forth a bit in every applicable vinyasa. Gradually work my way up to Uth Plutih for 10 counts.
Phase 3: Pick ups and swing back, knees to the floor at first into a modified jump back. Gradually work my way up to Uth Plutih for 15 counts.
Phase 4: Pick ups, swing back into a real jump back.
Isn't this a great plan? Well, I think it is. It's a great plan because I really need a good project to distract me from the sad reality of how very, very tamas I'm feeling these days. Also, it's June, right? Why is it so cold? And backbends were terrible today. My arms were tired in Sirsasana...and...
Whine, whine, whine...
In my last post, I was too busy naval-gazing and feeling sorry for myself to mention my newest project: pick-ups.
No, no! Not pick-up lines! (though I'm working on those too - nothing like dating to keep the ol' mad skillz fresh).
I mean pick ups as in rooting my little hands into the floor and lifting my body up off of it. Pick-ups as in eventually swinging my legs back into a true, honest-to-goodness jump back.
I'm SO not there yet.
I was totally inspired by this post about jump-throughs from the amazing Elise (of Mysore Musings), who makes it look so easy. I'm such a sucker for a good Yoga YouTube moment. I watched her video of 'life ups' (Part III, in her post) over and over again. Then I tried to do what she was doing. Over and over again. Thanks, Elise! Now my triceps hurt. ;-)
Seriously! My triceps *hurt*. This is great news!!! I haven't had this intensity of arm-and-shoulder-OMG-what-did-you-do-to-me pain since last year when I first started this whole Ashtanga project (and did multiple Chaturangas for the first time).
Ouch. That means that whatever it is I'm doing, it's making me stronger. All is coming, baby! ;-)
So here's my plan (because if you've been reading me for very long, you know I'm a planner).
Phase 1 (started on Monday): Baby pick ups in every applicable vinyasa, folding knees to chest and just trying to get my feet off the floor (I can actually do this about 75% of the time). Uth Plutih for 5 counts. When I can lift my feet each time and feel strong, move on to Phase 2...
Phase 2: Pick ups and swing back and forth a bit in every applicable vinyasa. Gradually work my way up to Uth Plutih for 10 counts.
Phase 3: Pick ups and swing back, knees to the floor at first into a modified jump back. Gradually work my way up to Uth Plutih for 15 counts.
Phase 4: Pick ups, swing back into a real jump back.
Isn't this a great plan? Well, I think it is. It's a great plan because I really need a good project to distract me from the sad reality of how very, very tamas I'm feeling these days. Also, it's June, right? Why is it so cold? And backbends were terrible today. My arms were tired in Sirsasana...and...
Whine, whine, whine...
Monday, June 2, 2008
Day 266
I really, really needed those four days off.
It was a rollercoaster weekend, filled with many long walks, some fun times with friends, a tonne of heartbreak and more chocolate than is probably good for me.
I came back to the mat this morning full of gratitude for this practice. It fills me, it sustains me. It reminds me of why I'm here, why I hope, why I keep my heart open when every instinct tells me to shut down.
After Savasana, I wiped away my tears, gathered the broken pieces of my heart together and stood up to move on.
One foot in front of the other. Baby steps.
Tomorrow: Moon Day. Time to rest. After that, more practice. All is coming.
It was a rollercoaster weekend, filled with many long walks, some fun times with friends, a tonne of heartbreak and more chocolate than is probably good for me.
I came back to the mat this morning full of gratitude for this practice. It fills me, it sustains me. It reminds me of why I'm here, why I hope, why I keep my heart open when every instinct tells me to shut down.
After Savasana, I wiped away my tears, gathered the broken pieces of my heart together and stood up to move on.
One foot in front of the other. Baby steps.
Tomorrow: Moon Day. Time to rest. After that, more practice. All is coming.
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