Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Bakasana and Dancing Blue Turds

I clearly remember rushing out to buy Gregor Maehle's 'Intermediate Series' book when it was first released. Then I looked through it and thought, "What the hell am I doing with this? When am I ever going to practise Intermediate Series?" I put it on the shelf and sulked off to do my endless forward bends.

Now, that book is my BIBLE. I even purchased the Kindle edition so I can carry it with me everywhere and it's really the best thing ever! When I find a spare moment, I open it on my iPad and geek out on the minute little details of the poses I'm working on.

Yesterday, I was reading the section on Bakasana B while stuck on a delayed train in a tunnel somewhere in the vast underground of the city. I must have laughed out loud because the woman next to me glanced over and said: "That must be a *great* book!" I nodded. "I'm learning how to turn my armpits into a vacuum using my inhalation." She smiled at me nervously and scanned the train for another open seat.

I felt bad for scaring her. Obviously, the Crazypants is leaching into my leisure time.

The Armpit Vacuum has been on my mind ever since. This morning, I gave it a go and successfully (and lightly!) landed Bakasana three times. Armpit-suctioning-madskillz really work! Who knew? The fact that this feat was repeatable is encouraging, but in order for me to successfully land in that arm balance, I've learned that the following conditions must be met:

1) My suctioning armpits must be turned on.
2) My Driste must be far, far forward - like across the street.
3) I can't even *think* about starting my inhale until I'm actually preparing to take the leap and that's probably too soon.
4) Under NO circumstances can my teacher be watching me do it! ;-)

Too bad Kapotasana isn't this straightforward. In describing the entrance into *that* pose, Maehle explained: "There is an entire universe in this movement." No kidding! *sigh* Clearly, I have my work cut out for me...

So I know a few of you are scratching your heads and wondering, isn't it a Moon Day? Why yes, it is. My new shala is open on Moon Days and when the shala is open, I'm there, no question. After my long teacher-drought, I'm not willing to miss a single minute of instruction.

At first, I thought I would miss the day off but I actually don't mind at all. In fact, it's easier to just stay with my routine. I love my practice so much these days, that I'm just happy to be in the shala.

The weather is still gray and cool here, but at least it's not raining. I didn't teach at noon so I ran errands instead. Princess Fur needed dog food and I also bought a box of fancy 'poo bags'.

These bags are special! They are hand-shaped, kind of like a baseball mitt. I guess this will come in handy when Princess Fur suddenly developes high-velocity projectile pooing abilities.

The instructions on the box are pictorial and very helpful

Here's a translation:

Step 1) The dog has a great idea! *exclaimationpoint* *helpfularrow* The dog will eject feces from her anus at high velocities for the human to catch! (Cue: Mula Bandha).

Step 2) The human uses the specially designed Scoopies Poo Mitt to catch the Dancing Blue Turds as they fly across the park. (Cue: Happy Dance!).

Step 3) The Dancing Blue Turds then board their shuttle craft to rendezvous with the Mothership for their return to Planet Dog Poo. The dog waves 'Bye-Bye'. Planet Earth is safe for humanity once again (Cue: Dramatic space-themed soundtrack).

Seriously, I can't wait to try these out! Princess Fur is thinking deeply about Mula Bandha. I'm thinking deeply about my failed baseball career.

I'll let you know how it goes.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


Loo said...

What else can I say? I love your blog.

word veri: syopoodo!

エスタ said...

Ha! Must be something in the air, and hopefully not turds.. was fiddling with bakasana today too, we seem to be on a similar track, I'm also often in LBH mess, getting better but when I read your posts it's nice to know I'm not alone ; ) Must look at Maehle's book again, I forget about it, thanks for the reminder and good luck with flying!

Globie said...

Thanks for brightening my day LOL

I have an iPad now but couldn't find the Maehle book in the IBooks store? I only have Winnie the Pooh on here so far, that was my free gift for signing up.

Kaivalya said...

What a coincidence! Syopoodo is the name of 'Planet Dog Poo' in the Dancing Blue Turds' native language!

Thanks for the reminder to reread the LBH section of that book. I tried out Maehle's tips this morning and managed to hold both sides of Eka *and* fold forward and hold without my foot sliding free! Yay!

The iBooks store is rubbish. Can you get the Kindle app on your iPad? I get all my eBooks from Amazon. The app is better designed and if you ever get a Kindle, you can read your books on either device.

Globie said...

I didn't know you could get Kindle for iPad, I thought they were separate platforms. If you have an iPad I can't see much point in getting a Kindle as well. If I can have both on one device that's great.

Kaivalya said...

Kindle for iPad is an ap - you can get it in the ap store, probably free. I like having both devices because the iPad is a battery hog and to hard to read outdoors.