A Near-miss

A flashback in time:
It happened during the mid-term exam period, my second year of university. I was writing my 5th exam in two days and I could feel a sense of lightness and relief washing over me as I inked the last sentence of my essay and closed the exam booklet. As I handed it it, my professor asked to speak with me privately.

"Is this your *last* exam?" she asked. I nodded. She put a steadying hand on my shoulder. "Go home and phone your family, hon. There's been an earthquake in California."

I ran back to my residence, heart pounding, tears streaming down my face. As I stepped into my room, I flipped the morning paper I'd tossed aside hours earlier and there it was, in bold headlines: "Devastating Earthquake Hits California". I hadn't seen it - I generally ignore the news, especially during exam periods.

I spent the next six hours frantically trying to phone my brother and my sisters in Crescent City. I still remember how frustrating it was, worrying and trying to get through the busy circuits.

I still have family in California, Hawaii and Japan. So you might think that I had a really stressful day today, but actually it was quite normal. You see, I still ignore the news most of the time. I usually don't even check the headlines in the morning. I didn't this morning.

In fact, feeling weary of the internet after the dramatics of the week, I didn't even check blogs or Twitter. I practiced the Primary Series. Then I wrote my morning pages and opened up a book.

At noon, I walked over to the private school to teach a class. I wasn't feeling up to cooking, so I treated myself to lunch opting, ironically, for sushi. That's when I heard the servers talking about 'the earthquake' and realised something was amiss. I pulled out my iPad and logged on to Twitter. A friend had just tweeted about 'devastation in Crescent City, CA'.

My heart dropped into my stomach.

So what did I do? I logged into Facebook, of course! I checked the pages of each of my siblings, plus my neices and nephews and stepmother. I was reassured by their statuses that everyone was safe. My sister says that her town is still evacuated. My niece is travelling. My other sister in Hawaii is out partying (probably) and my brother is *not* out on his boat.

They're fine.

I can't believe I'm saying this but here it is: THANK GOD FOR FACEBOOK. The site was down for a span today. I wouldn't be surprised if it's because so many people were checking on loved ones, like I was.

Next, I followed the links to the earthquake and tsunami footage in Japan. I felt, like many of you, helpless and awed and sad. I grew up on the sea, on a small sailboat, and few things conjure up more terror in me than tsunamis (hurricanes take a close second). I'm very familiar with civil alert sirens and evacuations.

My heart is breaking for all of those who lost homes and loved ones today. Twenty years after moving away from the coast, natural disasters like this still feel like a 'near-miss', like it could have been me. I feel incredibly blessed to be sitting here in my small home, cooking rice, walking my dog, following the rounds of a normal life.

I'm so lucky. My hopes and prayers are with those who weren't as lucky today.


Update: It was 'closer to home' than I thought. The marina I lived in as a child was hard-hit by the Tsunami. Docks broke free, 200 boats are reported damaged. Viewing the footage was eerie.

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The hokey-pokey and group hugs

So I did practice and it wasn't SO bad. In fact, it went pretty well, all things considered.

My job during practice is to back off from any pain sensation in my shoulder. A couple weeks ago, this meant that I could barely transition between postures, I couldn't push into Urdhva Dhanurasana and Sirsasana was a touch-and-go affair.

This week, I'm able to do a complete vinyasa between postures - just without jumps. I step forward, I step back. It's like the 'hokey pokey' except I never turn myself around and that's not 'what it's all about'...but I digress.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Chaturanga. I can do that and I can do upward dog and downward dog. I can lift out of Bhujapidasana into Bakasana, but I lower down and step back to Chaturanga. I added lotus jumpbacks back in because they don't trigger any pain at all - and they're fun!

These are the nitty gritty details of my practice, the stuff that I would never normally discuss on my blog. Except...right now, they're HUGE. I don't even think about standing up from Urdhva Dhanurasana anymore. I'd be pretty thrilled if I could walk my hands into a deeper backbend. Or do a deep, satisfying Purvottanasana without pain. Or enjoy Prasarita Padottanasana C again.

The terrain has shifted and I'm shifting with it. It's 'Granny Yoga' at its finest!

********************
Since I can't obsess about standing up from backbends anymore, I'm trying to develop New Interests. My friend Evelyn is a trailblazer in this regard. Sidelined by a similar shoulder injury, she's immersed herself in dodgy cable television: Sasquatch sightings and UFOs. Plus, she's become a Cesar Millan groupie and taken up dog-walking.

Princess Fur's ears perked as I typed that last sentence.

I've been looking for a good hobby. Last weekend, I was checking out a friend's bookshelf and my eyes landed on the Complete Little House on the Prairie Seasons 1-8. The DVDs are encased in a box that resembles...wait for it!...a covered wagon.

I grew up with that show! Too good to be true! She was, understandably, hesitant to part with any portion of this bounty, but we negotiated and I walked out of there with the first four seasons.

I've been hunkered down on the futon ever since, watching a buck-toothed Laura Ingalls (Melissa Gilbert) utter syrupy lines like Home is the nicest word there is!

*blissful cringe*

Last night, I watched the episode where Laura (and Jack, the family dog) is bitten by her pet raccoon and Dr. Baker warns that Laura (and Jack! *sob*) may have been exposed to rabies.

The family fearfully waits for the rabies incubation period to pass. They huddle tearfully around Laura, but my sympathies are out in the barn with Jack, the dog, who is tied up, alone. Poor Jack! He doesn't understand why nobody loves him anymore. He whines inconsolably. Then he starts barking wildly.

When Pa walks out to the barn with a loaded rifle, I'm in torment. I can clearly remember sobbing my heart out when I first viewed this episode at age four. Even at that age, I liked dogs better than people.

I won't spoil the story for you, though I'll bet you can guess how it ends. *grouphug*

In an era of reality TV, it astounds me that anything so syrupy and heartfelt could have *ever* graced the airwaves of network televion. These days, 'Little House' would be too cheesy and innocent for normal kids to watch. They'd make fun of it then quickly turn the channel to a Lady Gaga video or a daytime talkshow featuring mothers who get sex-change operations then date their daughter's secretly gay boyfriends.

Which, of course, means I'm throughly enjoying my foray into 70s TV Nostalgia Land. Yay, the good old days! When the good guys were really good (burly Mr. Edwards, swinging down a dirt path singing 'Old Man Tucker' and kicking up his heels) and the bad guys were REALLY bad (Nellie Oslen, scowling under her blonde ringlets, bragging about the 'store-bought rug' in her family's house. And don't get me started on her *mother*!). The lines were so clearly drawn.

Evelyn is starting to believe in Big Foot. Me? I'm starting to believe that an entire town would show up to help Mr. Ingalls stack sacks of grain so he won't lose his team of oxen to an unscrupulous Irishman. Or that a schoolhouse full of children will cooperatively pretend to learn the alphabet in order to teach a teenage boy how to read the word 'boat'. When he later reads an essay of appreciation to the teacher, the children applaud in a standing ovation.

Awwww! Group hug!


That's me, 6 years old, in my 'prairie dress'.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Vinyasa

When the alarm went off this morning, I sat up in bed and actually winced. That abdominal thing from the Shala South class yesterday? Yeah, I felt it. I've been feeling it all day. In my side body too. Sidebends = ouch. Bujangasana = ouch. Coming up from a seated position = OUCH. There will definitely be an Epsom salt bath tonight!

Meanwhile, the studio class fun continues: I took another yoga detour today.

Yesterday, I received an email from Teacher V announcing that her studio would be closing for the interim, starting this Thursday. I've been meaning to go to a few classes there over the summer, but I kept getting side tracked. Now I'm just kicking myself! This is very shocking news. She's hunting for another space, though, and I hope she finds one. I really love the atmosphere of this studio - it's one of the few in the city I've gone to with any regularity.

As soon as I got the news, I made firm plans to go to a noon class to visit Teacher V and also to say 'goodbye to the studio.' You see, I get really sentimental about the studio spaces I've practised in. When my 'home studio' (in my neighbourhood) shut down several years ago, I was heartbroken. I often still gaze longingly towards the fourth floor windows where I did my YTT. I sometimes wonder if the people in that space (now an office) feel the energy of the hundreds of yogis who practised there over the years.

This studio is lovely. In the main room, afternoon light streams in through big windows and there are plants everywhere. The mall is directly across the street, along with a huge billboard featuring Celine Dion. It was always a bit disconcerting to look up and find Celine staring me down as I practised. I've been eagerly awaiting the removal of that billboard for years. Now, it appears that Celine has outlasted the studio, which is a sad, sad state of affairs.

Memories: I bought my hollow wood blocks (required for YTT) at this studio in 2003. In 2007, I took a year-long course on Chapter 6 of the Bhagavad Gita with Teacher H. I also attended a few of her asana classes while she still taught there. Last summer, in Teacher H's class, I did a freestanding headstand for the first time in a class (I was doing them regularly at home). I've sampled the occasional Jivamukti class and particularly enjoy Teacher V's classes.

Today, this wasn't my best class with Teacher V, but I suspect she has a lot on her mind and I felt broken. And I wasn't up to full strength, being so incredibly sore from the class at Shala South yesterday. It's cooled down a lot today; the room wasn't warm at all. I barely broke a sweat (and had to move my yoga towel to the side because it wasn't giving me enough traction; needs to be damp for that).

I was delighted with the opportunity to do one last headstand at this studio. I came up with straight legs and stayed for the entire duration (probably about 2 minutes). We did Surya Yantrasana (Sun Dial Pose). She also taught Baddha Ardha Chandrasana (Bound Half Moon Pose) which was good fun. I can sort of do it. It's mostly a mental leap, easier against the wall until you can get your head wrapped around it.

By the way, when did Virabhadrasana III get so horrible? I used to like this pose, probably because no one was asking me to square my hips to the floor. Argh. I noticed that my Ujjayi breath was completely absent from my practice. Usually I'm able to bring it into my practice regardless of what style I'm practising, but not today.

Geez, I hope I can get out of bed tomorrow - I have two classes to teach! Epsom salts...