Astanga

My gremlin, Nitara, is fading. Last night, I massage my neck, working out a few little knots and hitting all the pressure points. When I was finished, Nitara had decamped to my right shoulderblade. When I woke up in the morning, she had moved back over to the left. With some more massage she melted away into simple soreness.

My practice this morning was refreshingly ordinary. We’ve had a cooling spell and humidity has eased. It wasn’t as hot in the Shala. I barely broke a sweat except for my head. I’m a head sweater!

Everything was do-able today, though P had to apply a firm squish in Marichyasana A to get my forehead to my shin. I repeated Bhujapidasana three times after thudding gracelessly onto my bum the first two times (I was ROFL, literally!). On the third try, P stood behind me, coaching me to inhale on the lift-to-exit. He pointed out that my inhale needs to be long in order to last for the entire lift, which means I need to exhale completely before I even attempt it.

Sometimes, Bhujapidasana is smooth and effortless. Most of the time, it’s a comedy show, but I really enjoy working on it. I’ve been trying, trying, trying to get my knees far enough up my arms on the exit to manage a jumpback from Bakasana. No luck.

I was reading Maehle over the weekend and there’s this great line about ‘sucking your knees into your armpits’ while exiting. I love this imagery! I enjoy imagining my armpits as mini Black Holes sucking up knees, (or maybe they’re a vacuum! or a breach in the space-time continuum!). Now THAT would be a great Siddhi!! Obviously, I’m not even close. ;-)

My finishing poses all feel fine now. Sarvangasana is no longer uncomfortable and I managed a smooth Sirsasana up and down, including the half-bend. The only lingering gremlin-related issue is the wrist bind in Marichyasana D and the last few Chakrasanas. I’ll probably add those back in tomorrow. Don’t know about the Mari D, actually - I may need some help to get my wrist back.

Backbends:

I did 9 backbends today because I flaked out on #7 and came down too early. This is how it unfolded:

Warmup backbends, #1, #2, #3: head to floor *briefly* between each one, walked my hands in for #2 and #3

Second set #4, #5, #6: I’m trying to build strength, so I repeated the above with more handwalking and deeper backbends.

After #7, P told me to stop ‘moving my feet’. He was actually standing on my feet as he said this. I asked him, “How exactly am I moving them?”

“As you walk your hands in, you’re moving your feet forward!”

Forward?! Oops. I guess that kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?

#8: I tried to visualize my feet, set in concrete. P asked me to walk my hands waaaaay in. I did. My heels lifted. I pressed them down. I think I managed 4 breath cycles here. It was not quality breathing, though. WHY does my breathing get all weird in Urdhva Dhanurasana? Argh.

#9: I did one more for good measure, trying to replicate the depth of the previous backbend. When I get this deep, it feels intense - not painful, just fierce. My breathing totally fell apart here and I came down.

I feel like I’m on the right track.

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But enough about me.

The weather is lovely and our 70s Yoga Ladies are embracing the sunshine with a picnic on the back lawn.

On the menu: Siamese Yoga on a picnic blanket. That pose looks a tad uncomfortable and, um, shouldn’t she be wearing something over those tights?

Wait a minute...is the driste Parsva or Nasagrai? Open your eyes!!!

Astanga

Today was a led class and it was a hot one! Hot and humid. My entire space was soaked in sweat by the end: my clothes, my rug, my towel, my hair. I think my brain was even a little sweaty!

Led Primary is a funny little time warp. While I’m doing it, it seems to take forever. Afterward, it seems like no time has passed at all! A few hours later, I wonder if I imagined the whole thing!

My gremlin left me alone for most of the practice. She’s settled back into my left shoulderblade during the day, but during practice today, she was lingering around the base of my neck. This is good! The base of the neck is an exit point - it means she might be leaving soon.

I’ve been trying to be more mindful of the positioning of my neck during my practice. R stopped by once or twice this morning to change the position of my head, so she’s keeping an eye on this as well. The coming week should be interesting. The gremlin has been lingering longer than I would have predicted.

I did two Chakrasana today and skipped the others because they were too uncomfortable. Sarvangasana is back in full, along with Karna Pidasana and Pindasana. Sirsasana was fine going up. I even held for the 15 counts, but I couldn’t manage the half-bend. Instead, I placed my tippy toes on the floor and held there. Sirsasana is the one pose I can *always* do well, so this has been humbling for me!

I brought vegan double-chocolate brownies to share with my shala-mates during the discussion afterward. I’ve been experimenting with a new recipe and it turned out great! I forgot to take a photo of them, so you’ll just have to imagine: Very moist, gooey brownies with melted vegan chocolate chips. Very chocolately! Yum!

Restorative

I just love Saturdays! I still tend to wake up early, but after that, it’s all lazy, lazy, lazy. I took Princess Fur for a walk in the park before the entire neighbourhood woke up and it was so peaceful.

I’ve regained full range of motion in my neck, with lingering soreness in some positions. I’ve been trying to sleep on my back to keep my neck neutral, but last night, I was actually able to sleep on my side for awhile. I think belly-sleeping is out for the time being. Don’t laugh! The Neck Book actually discusses various ways of sleeping badly and I’m the poster child for all of those positions! I’ve been sleeping that way since I was a baby - I confirmed it with my mum. I also shouldn’t sit in bed/windowseat reading because I don’t have good posture. The gremlin is stealing all my fun!

Today’s practice was restorative. I lolled around on my mat for about an hour, doing various hip/hamstring openers. I accidentally discovered that I’m VERY close to nailing full Hanumasana, so I experimented with some targeted hip opening. My hamstrings are already there, my hip flexors just need to join the party. I’ll bet if I worked this over the next couple weeks, it would be a done deal. That would be great, given that Hanumasana has been on my ‘resolutions’ list for years. It would also help my Urdhva Dhanurasana.

My teaching schedule won’t ease off entirely until July, but I’ll definitely have more spare time in the coming weeks and I’m looking forward to adding some afternoon or evening practices. Not Astanga, but Hatha with maybe a vinyasa class or two thrown in for good measure. I can do all my favourite ‘extracurriculars’! I need to pick Boodi’s brain for some ideas to improve my strength and co-ordination in jumpbacks.

I only have this abundant free time in the summer, so I need to make the most of it and deepen my practice as much as possible.

And then I can run off and join the circus! Just kidding :-) But I’m still coveting an ‘Om Gym’.

Have a nice Saturday, everyone!

Astanga

So, we’ve established that Backbending Angst drives me into an insomniatic frenzy and makes me turn into a CrazyPants.

This week, I’m discovering that my gremlin, which I’ve named Nitara, makes me tired. I don’t think I’ve really felt well-rested since Wednesday and I’ve been sleeping a LOT. In fact, I’ve been spending most of my non-teaching, non-practisting, non-Princess-Fur-Walking hours in bed, passed out.

Say what you want about the validity of homeopathic preparations, but the Arnica has a very specific effect on me: it puts me to sleep! I’m not dreaming this up. The pellets knock me out for at least three hours (or leave me yawning for those hours, in the case of my evening classes last night). Even the gel makes me drowsy. I guess I won’t be operating heavy machinery this week. It’s more effective than the Melatonin! Yesterday, I napped for two hours in the morning. Today, after practice, I went back to sleep for almost three-and-a-half hours. As I write this (late evening), I’m already sleepy.

I think the full-body exhaustion is also just the nature of my gremlin; pain is exhausting. I’m a pretty tough cookie, but I was really hurting yesterday. I had a full schedule of classes to teach and was miserable for most of them. I put on my happy face and carried on.

By last night, the idea of practising in the morning seemed laughable, but I didn’t give myself the option of skipping. I figured I would show up on my mat and deal with whatever I found there. In addition to the Arnica Gel, which I do believe is helping, I took muscle relaxants last night before bed. I woke up feeling better, more sore than ‘crampy’. This means I’m on the mend, which is good news!

I’ve been following the recommendations in the ‘Treat Your Own Neck’ book. This morning, as I was doing them, I could actually *feel* my gremlin moving around, from shoulderblade to the base of the neck and back again. The book has a series of daily exercises for maintenance of a healthy neck. I think I may need to incorporate these into my post-salt-bath routine since this has become an area of concern for me. I also need to be more aware of what I’m doing with my neck during my practice. I think I’m going to take a hiatus from anything ‘chin-to-shin’ and focus on keeping my neck in a neutral position, particularly in the forward bending poses.

I had a careful, but relatively complete practice this morning. All jumpbacks/throughs were there, but I skipped the Chakrasanas after trying one and hitting that same ‘my-muscles-aren’t-working’ brick wall that I crashed into yesterday in Sirsasana.

I worked steadily, but carefully in my backbends. I did six and worked on walking my hands in and breathing. That felt like enough.

Since Chakrasana wasn’t working for me, I wasn’t too surprised to find that my Sarvangasana was tender and not very deep. I couldn’t get far enough up on my shoulders to hold up my knees up in Urdhva Padmasanana - I had to keep my hands on my back. Same in Pindasana.

But I managed to come into Sirsasana! This was a great relief to me - it's probably my favourite pose. I didn’t stay for long and I came down one leg at a time, skipped the half-bend.

Another six-day week is complete! Tomorrow, I’m definitely taking rest. No Astanga for me. My practice will be gentle, restorative and brief.

I’m hoping that I’ll be up to full-strength for for the led Primary on Sunday. I’m looking forward to this. I always enjoy the discussion afterward and I already have the ingredients together to bake vegan double-chocolate brownies for my shala-mates. We’ll feast! :-)

Astanga

I had a hellish commute last night. I finished teaching my last class close to 9, just as storms were moving through the area pouring down rain. I caught a subway, but the line was out of service. On the bright side, it terminated at a station where I’m familiar with the bus schedules/routes. On the dire side, it took me almost two hours to get home because the buses were running late. Bad transit karma!

I was tired this morning, but rolled into the Shala early and had a really great practice. I had one space-cadet-flake-out moment when I almost skipped past Bhujapidasana into Garba Pindasana, but I caught myself. I guess I was feeling a bit sheepish because I moved into Bhujapidasana very quickly and efficiently without even thinking about it. And the pose was almost effortless! I lowered my chin smoothly to the floor and lifted my feet! The exit was even decent (P had corrected my vinyasa on this the other day). Best Bhuja ever!

I managed Supta K entirely on my own. The cross of my ankles is getting deeper.

I’m also getting the lotus jumpbacks more often than not. I think the next step is to bring my hands wider apart so I can move through Chaturanga without moving them.

R had a busy room this morning, so I was on my own in Urdhva Dhanurasana. Before my first three, I gave myself a bit of a pep talk: You’ve been practising yoga asana for 15 years. You DON’T need R to baby-sit you in order to work hard! You can do this on your own. Work hard!!

Today’s theme (I decided) was walking the hands in. Here’s how it played out

#1: Came up, held the backbend while breathing deeply. I tried to lengthen both my inhalation and my exhalation.

#2: Head to floor for a breath cycle, inched the hands in a bit, back up. 5 breaths.

#3: Head to floor for a breath cycle, inched the hands in yet again. 5 breaths.

rest

#4 Came up, walked the hands in one hand length. Hold for 5.

#5 Head to the floor to rest, back up with the hands walked in another half-hand length. Hold for 5.

Rest

#6, #7, and #8 were all variations on the theme above, with lots of handwalking. I walked too far in on #7 and had to drop back down. On #8, I walked in until the heels lifted then pressed them back down and focused on straightening my arms. I only held the last one for three breath cycles.

At this point, the gremlin that’s living in my neck and upper back had decided to move from my right shoulderblade to my left. I was really careful in the Marichyasanas today and took it easy in Mari D. R came over to adjust me, then remembered the shoulder/neck issue and left me alone in the pose. My practice was going so well, I thought everything was fine!

But then, my post-UD Chakrasana was suspiciously uncomfortable. Sarvangasana felt great. Then I set up for Sirsasana and something VERY odd happened. I couldn’t come up! This is normally an effortless pose for me so I kept trying and trying! It wasn’t so much pain as a complete failure of the muscles to engage properly; they didn’t want to go there. Something in my upper back was not co-operating (Trapezius? Latissimus?). R noticed and told me to do what I could, so I did the pose while keeping my big toes lightly on the floor.

After that, I noticed how very uncomfortable I was. R had to tell me to stop futzing around in Savasana (I was rubbing my neck). The gremlin (as Boodi calls it; see yesterday’s comments), has been moving around like Goldilocks trying to find a new bed, but after my practice it was definitely worse. R came out to check on me before I left the Shala. She recommended Arnica Gel and homeopathic Arnica Montana pellets.

It’s definitely a neck issue, but it’s never been quite this bad. I applied the Arnica, put three pellets under my tongue and laid down for a nap. The jury is still out on how helpful Arnica actually is, but it certainly knocked me out for a good two hours. I needed the sleep!

I took a bonus salt bath and laid on the accuball, then did the exercises recommended in McKenzie’s book, ‘Treat Your Own Neck’ (this has been very helpful to me in the past). I’m teaching tonight. I’ll take the Arnica Gel with me. If I’m still this miserable before bed, I may resort to the muscle relaxants.

I’ve decided to give my gremlin a name: Nitara. It’s a Hindi hame which means ‘having deep roots’. I think this pain has deep emotional roots and I can only move through it.

This is NOT fun.

Astanga

I had a calm, flowing, perfectly ordinary practice this morning, except for my left big toe. I was a bit overzealous pedicure-ing yesterday and it made for a sore landing on jumpbacks. Not a big deal, but the Primary Series has many, many jumpbacks. It was a bit bizarre to be SO brightly aware of every. single. one. On the plus side, it also made me aware of the impact of my landings. I used my Bandhas more and brought some of the work into my arms, which made my landings lighter.

As I finished the second side of Marichyasana D, I felt a subtle shift in my body and a cramping sensation near my left shoulderblade. I paused to assess and it seemed okay so I moved on. I felt another shift during the last Navasana and it was gone. After Garba Pindasana, I noticed that the sensation had shifted just above my right shoulderblade and it’s still there.

I paused my practice at one point and sat in Siddhasana, continuing Ujjayi and observing the sensation. It’s not an injury.

It’s reminiscent of those ‘growing pains’ I went through with Chakrasana a couple months ago. In that instance, my neck hurt for a while. I even took a break from the transition to let things simmer down a bit, but then I moved through it. Fortunately, I had the help of skilled teachers to nudge me through it. Now, my neck feels very comfortable during my rolls.

Last year, I went through almost exactly the same thing with Marichyasana C. At the time, it really freaked me out; my practice waned. Whenever I came back to Astanga, this same thing would pop up again and again. Finally, I decided to keep going, working carefully through it. When ‘it’ was done, I found my wrist bind in Marichyasana C for the very first time.

In the yoga community, Astanga is sometimes condemned for tolerating ‘injuries’ - ‘openings’ - which might sideline a practitioner in other traditions. Through my own experience. I’ve come come to understand the difference between an a true ‘injury’ and an ‘opening’. When discomfort appears in my practice, I pay attention and ask questions, but I don’t necessarily stop completely. Through experience, I’ve come to understand that some of my aches and pains are simply blocks that I must move through in order to deepen my practice.

I believe this is precisely what I’m experiencing now. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if the sensations dissipate in a week and I’m left with a effortless wrist bind in Marichyasana D.

P must have noticed me futzing around during my practice and that’s pretty unusual when it doesn’t involve me mopping off sweat with a towel. ;-) He popped out briefly to check in with me as I was getting ready to leave. He’s familiar with this whole process of ‘opening’ and ‘moving through’. I know he’ll brief R and they’ll keep an eye on me for the next few days, just to make sure I’m okay.

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Speaking of towels!

I found this fantastic link: Don’t Panic – 42 Awesome Ways to Use a Towel

I’m deeply familiar with #9, but there are many, MANY other fantastic possibilities on this list for futzing around with my towel!

Towels: they’re not *just* for mopping sweat anymore! :-D

Astanga

I enjoyed my practice this morning. I received the usual complement of adjustments with a special bonus adjustment in Marichyasana A. This was a good nudge for me to work a bit harder in that pose. I’m not sure why I’m not able to fold further forward (I have the flexibility in my hamstrings) but if a teacher gives me a gentle push, my chin is on my shin. Hips?

Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana is getting really deep! The past few days have been fantastic. Today, R had to kind of hoist my heel up past her shoulder. Bringing my chin to my shin is a lot easier now, since I have less distance to cover! :-D

I’m reliably binding to my wrist in Marichyasana D. Next project: Get that lotus knee to the floor. It’s coming!

Chin-to-the-floor in Bhujapidasana felt almost routine today. I did try to jump my legs around my arms entering the pose, but I’m not very good at this yet. When I tried it, I wasn’t in the right position anyway. I’m getting the exit into Bakasana, but the arm balance is so sloppy! I usually reposition myself so I can hold it for a second and find a clean jumpback.

My heels don’t want to lift in Kurmasana anymore. Lack of strength? Not putting in the effort? Body not squished enough? I’ll keep working on it...

Backbends: I was feeling really tired and maybe R noticed, because she she told me not to worry about rocking. New cue: Something about bringing the upper back closer to the upper legs. I was mystified! But it was such an interesting idea to wrap my brain around, I almost forgot I was in Urdhva Dhanurasana for a few moments! I know I wasn’t walking my hands in far enough today, but I did my eight backbends all the same. I really am trying!

I’m also trying to cut myself a bit of slack about this whole thing. Hey, four years ago? I couldn’t even *do* Urdhva Dhanurasana! I have a few photographs of the first efforts and they’re awful!

The pose finally started to make some sense to me in the spring of ’08, but after the whole illness/hospital/bedrest thing in the fall of that year, I lost it again (I lost *everything*; my Primary Series was GONE when I came back to my practice in the winter). I started making some noticeable progress last fall, but lost that headway by December (I was maintaining a daily practice, but it wasn’t exclusively Astanga; I don’t think I was doing a lot of backbending then. Consistency matters!).

It’s only been a month that my Urdhva Dhanurasana has started to shift in a dramatic way. If I keep working hard and focusing on walking my hands in every day, I believe it *will* continue to deepen. Opening my hips is a good idea. Working on my shoulder flexibility is also a good idea. And I think the ‘spiderman routine’ was actually helping me build strength in my legs, because I’ve felt weaker since I’ve stopped doing it (so I’m going to add it back in).

Summer is usually a great time for my practice. It’s hot out. My teaching schedule lightens, so I’m less exhausted. I can add in some extracurricular yoga. I have lots of time.

Patience, grasshopper! :-)

Master Po: Close your eyes. What do you hear?
Young Caine: I hear the water, I hear the birds.
Po: Do you hear your own heartbeat?
Caine: No.
Po: Do you hear the grasshopper which is at your feet?
Caine: Old man, how is it that you hear these things?
Po: Young man, how is it that you do not?
[wikipedia]