No dignity for the fur'ed

I had a class cancellation this afternoon, so I used the time to do something I've been putting off for months: grooming Princess Fur. I've been clipping her myself for nearly seven years now, so I'm pretty good at it. I can do the entire job, including clean-up, in under 90 minutes (my yoga practice runs longer than that).

The best part is, besides the time spent, it doesn't cost me anything. I recieved professional quality dog clippers as a birthday gift several years ago and I taught myself the skill through trial and error (dogs don't care if they have 'bad hair'). Since dog-grooming can cost upwards of $80 in this burg, I generally consider it time well spent.

But I still put it off endlessly and I'm not sure why. My back no longer tweaks out because I finally got smart and moved the whole operation to the kitchen counter. It's the perfect height for dog grooming (and yes, I realise that all you hygiene-nuts out there are clutching your throats in horror, but it works for me and I clean the kitchen thorougly afterward).

Princess Fur is calm and well-behaved as I groom her, mainly because she's wallowing in misery. She just stands there and looks persecuted the entire time, occasionally hanging her head or shooting me an anguished stare ("howcouldyoudothistome?!"). Grooming her is fun, in a reductive, sheep-shearing sort of way.

Anwyay, it's done now and I can proceed to put it off for another two months or so until my dog resembles a small, gray wookie and then the cycle will start all over again: Procrastination. More fur. More procrastination. Too much fur. Too much procrastination...and so on.

Two things:

Each time I groom the Princess, I notice the age spots more and more. Schnauzers tend to get them and she's covered in them now. She's starting to look like a dalmation! They make me a bit sad - it's a sign she's getting old.

She's turning into an eccentric old lady! A few years ago, I had to get her front incisors pulled so now her tongue sticks out whenever she's relaxed. She's the goofy spotted dog with the tongue sticking out! Someone get her a polka-dotted cane to match!

Also, I tend to keep Princess Fur's coat longer in the winter to give her extra protection against the cold. But this winter has been so mild, she's been a bit *too* warm. So I gave her the summer cut.

Giving your dog a summer cut in the winter is probably just asking for trouble. It's like washing your car because you're *sure* it's not gonna rain - you're bound to regret it.

Just watch! I'll bet within 48 hours, the temperatures will drop to -30 or so. I'll need to double-layer my shivering dog and I'll feel like a Bad Lady for it. But you can thank me for bringing back winter!

You're welcome!




See the spots? After her post-clip bath, she stumbled around shivering with great drama. So I let her come up on the bed and covered her up in my flannel pyjamas.

She wouldn't turn around for this photo, though. The Princess is NOT amused!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The Bounce

When I have a bad day, it's *really* bad. Just like everything else, I like to do my 'bad' thoroughly ;-)

It started before I even woke up. I suffered through a night of restless sleep, punctuated by weird dreams. By morning, it was clear that my body was fighting off some kind of cold bug - my allergies generally don't include a scratchy throat and pounding headache. I rallied my defences (ColdFX, Oregano Oil, Vitamin C), and mixed my special sinus-infection-fighting neti pot potion. Then I set out to walk the dog.

Half-way through our walk, it was clear something wasn't right with Princess Fur's...er...'output'. After the fifth bag, the output issue was *really* dire. 'Great,' I thought, 'Now we're BOTH sick.'

I had a sinking feeling in my stomach as the problem got worse. When we returned home, I did a consult with 'Dr. Google' and decided not to take the 'emergency vet' route, opting instead to withold food for 48 hours to see if it cleared.

With my luck taking such an ominous turn, I left for my morning class early to give myself plenty of time to ride very carefully. I've never had a bike accident in 12 years of riding in this city, but there's always a first time. *helpfulforeshadowing*

I stopped by the farmer's market and picked up my chocolate cookies without incident. As I pedalled east, I kept my eye peeled for hazards and sure enough, a car door opened in my path. This happens a lot. We even have a cute little name for this phenomenom - we call it 'being doored'. I had enough forewarning that I was able to expertly veer into the middle lane, over the streetcar tracks and, luckily, not into the path of a speeding car (the traffic wasn't too heavy). There was a car approaching behind me though, so I veered right as soon was I was in the clear.

And that's when it happened. I'm pretty good at navigating the streetcar tracks that criss-cross this city, but the tracks were a bit slippery from the misty rain and I felt my front wheel slide, turn and fall into the groove of the track. I couldn't control it and I was already moving at a good clip. My bike stopped suddenly and tipped to the right.

And I was flying. I had one moment of total Matrix awesomeness when everything just stopped. In that split-second, this is the thought that popped into my brain: "Like HELL I'm going to reinjure that damned right shoulder again!" So I twisted my body and landed on my left side, breaking the fall with my elbow and sliding between two parked cars.

It was a pretty neat trick and I'm still not sure how I pulled it off.

The next thing I remember, I was standing by a curb, staring into the startled eyes of a posh-looking woman who stood frozen, hand poised to feed a toonie into the parking dispenser. Her eyes were wide, her mouth was hanging open.

"OH. MY. GOD. Are you *okay*?" she gasped. I looked down at my body, moved my fingers and arms, shook my legs one at a time. I checked my clothing: miraculously, there wasn't even the tiniest snag in my uber-expensive Lu crops (which is a relief, since they cost me approximatley a kazillion dollars). My elbow ached, but my spring jacket was undamaged.

"I think I'm okay", I reported.

She shook her head in amazement. "That's the most incredible thing I've ever seen. It's like, you BOUNCED! And then you landed on your feet!" I looked down at my feet and noticed my wristwatch dangling loosely on my wrist. The clasp was broken (must of caught on the bike). I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach at that thought and I looked around frantically for my bicycle. When I found it, it was still on its side, near the track. There was no noticeable damage.

So I climbed back on and rode to work.

I didn't have time to really take stock until after I finished teaching. I chatted with the front desk staff and plastered myself with little band-aids. My left elbow is badly scraped and the emerging bruise will be colourful. The outside of my left hip is very achy. I have roadrash on my left knee and ankle and a very small, but juicy bruise on my left foot. There are a few other scrapes and scratches.

I'm SO lucky!!! It could have been much, much worse.

After that, the day just kept getting weirder.

After teaching, I rode to DT's afternoon vinyasa class. Being on my bicycle felt a tad surreal after the accident. It seemed like every car on the road had an ominous ulterior motive. Obviously, I was still rattled.

I turned up the street into the shala neighbourhood and found myself surrounded by naked people on bicycles. They were everywhere!!! There were men and women and they didn't have a stitch of clothing on. Nada! (and, er, ouch!) They were moving as slowly and amorphously as an a large, fleshy amoeba. I found it impossible to get around them. It was equal parts fascinating, repelling and frustrating.

Damn it. These naked people were going to make me late to yoga!

When I finally arrived at the shala, I felt relieved. I laid my mat by the window and glanced out in time to see the naked bike people streaming by. After alerting my shalamates, I stepped out to fill my water bottle. I told DT "There are naked people riding by on bicycles!"

She tilted her head, looked at me skeptically. "Nooooo! No way!"

"Really!! There are!" I told her. "Go look!"

She shot me a bemused glanced over her shoulder and walked into the practice room. Then I heard her shriek. :-D

Then DT started class. As we moved through the sun salutations, my body heated up and I began to shed little band-aids *everywhere*. I felt like I was depositing a new one for each vinyasa and I started to accumlate a pile of them next to my mat.

Through the yoga haze, I dimmly hoped that I wasn't bleeding on my Mysore rug or I'd have a LOT of explaining to do. In the excitement over the naked people on bicycles, I sort of forgot to tell DT that I took a spill on my own bicycle. I secretly hoped she wasn't planning a lot of arm balancing. The first pose was Bakasana. There was quite a bit of arm balancing.

I tried almost everything except for one tripod-headstand variation that made my elbow throb in warning. For the most part I felt perfectly fine except for a few moments of exquisite agony when roadrash met salty-sweat skin. But the class help me confirm that I wasn't really hurt, per se, just bruised up a bit.

Then I returned home and the Princess was HUNGRY.

"Withold food for 24-48 hours" It sounds really simple, doesn't it? Not if you're Princess Fur's 'primary nourishment provider'! Fur doesn't understand the logic around fasting for health. At first, she thought I was being forgetful, so she helpfully hovered around her food bowl, gazing at it intently. She even patted my leg to get my full attention, walked to kitchen and waited there patiently. Surely, I would get the message!

By suppertime, she realised that something was amiss, especially as I apologetically ate my own meal without offering up the kibble for hers. *guilt* The look of betrayal and confusion on her furry face ripped my heart open. Nothing emphasizes this power dynamic between us so starkly: I'm the keeper of the food. On some level, I was curious how she would react if I didn't fulfill my duty to provide it.

After an entire day of hunger, a certain hopelessness has overtaken my dog's demeanor. She's given up. But she's attached herself firmly to my side, just in case my Grinch's heart turns golden and I decide to fill her bowl after all.

As I write this blog entry, she's curled up next to me in the Fetal Position of Canine Misery. Her back is to me (she refuses to look at me, even when I speak to her gently). Her legs twitch as she dreams. I'm almost certain I know what she's dreaming of: kibble.

I feel like such an asshole.

Also: My elbow hurts. My head is throbbing. And it's chilly and gray outside.

I think I'll just go to bed.


(near the scene of 'the bounce')

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

I know! Let's blow ourselves up!

This is *not* a happy time of year to be Princess Fur.

It's Victoria Day Weekend here in Canada. For those of you not familiar with our odd canuck customs, here's a primer: In theory, this holiday commemorate's Queen Victoria's birthday. In practice, it's just another day off, usually reserved for 'opening up the cottage' if you're lucky enough to have one. Those who don't tend to congregate in various city parks, parkettes, parking lots and back yards, get drunk on cheap beer and blow themselves to smithereens with cheap fireworks.

It's a tradition, eh?

It would be nice if everyone limited these actitives to the actual holiday (which, like many Canadian Holidays, is on a Monday), but usually the entire weekend is one huge orgy of beer, barbeque and Big Loud Booms.

Poor Princess Fur spends most of it hiding - either in the back of my clothes closet or jammed behind the toilet in the bathroom. She shakes and cries and if I'm moving about, she hugs my ankles like an alarmed toddler and won't let me out of her sight.

Last night, the weather cleared and it was a beautiful night. I think many people used up their fireworks because rain was forecast for Monday night. So I was up until the wee hours, cradling my terrified dog. She was shaking like a leaf and cowering in a corner until well after midnight.

I rolled into the shala this morning after five hours of fitful sleep. I'm realising more and more that I simply MUST get enough sleep. I can't do this practice if I'm tired. The first part was okay, but I was seriously dragging by the time I hit LBH and I thought Tittibhasana was going to *kill* me.

By the time I finished and staggered out of the room, I was already in the full throes of a full-scale energy crash. I don't know how I made it home. As soon stumbled in the door, I crawled back to bed, still dressed in my sweat-soaked shala clothes and passed out cold for two hours. I woke up cranky, disoriented and shaking with cold.

So, it was not a great morning, but there was some fun in applying the stuff I learned in the workshop yesterday to my practice. And between the morning nap, the afternoon nap and the Bikram class I just got back from (Peanut was teaching so I couldn't resist - he's one of my favourite teachers) I'm feeling perkier.

After hot class, I went to the Absurdly Expensive Gourmet Pizza Place and picked up a 'Vegan Magic' pizza for supper. In a few minutes, I'll join Princess Fur in the bathroom, where she's hiding from the thunder. A line of storms just moved through the area AND it appears some idiots are already collecting in the park between rainshowers so they can continue blowing themselves up. When Canadians do Crazy, they do it with gusto!

I had high hopes for an early bedtime tonight, but I'm not holding my breath.

Happy Victoria Day!





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Holidays and Epic Naps

I've been in 'holiday mode' for the past several days. Still practising and even teaching a bit, but everything downshifted for the combined Jewish Holidays and Easter.

Easter Friday/Monday is a big deal in this town. Most business are shut down, though the restaurants and movie theatres do a brisk trade. With Passover, there was a nice convergence of holidays, which meant 6 days off my regular schedule.

I spent much of it baking and taking marathon naps, sitting in the window seat reading (I read four books) and taking Princess Fur on epic walks around the neighbourhood (the weather was beautiful on the weekend). I also ate more chocolate than was probably good for me, had a couple good lie-ins, and even watched television!

And I practised. On Friday, I was still on LH, so I did full Primary without the closing inversions. I felt sluggish, but happy to be there. I just took everything at a slower pace. My practice took a full two hours, despite skipping Intermediate.

DT decided this would be the perfect day to crack down on my sloppy Chaturanga (and she's got a point - my Chaturanga needs work). She walked over just as I was doing a lotus jumpback and proceeded to 'bootcamp' me.

First, she showed me what I was doing incorrectly. I went through the paces in a regular Chaturanga, trying to clean things up. Then I applied this new-found information to my lotus jumpback.

Hilarity ensued: I couldn't even lift up! I managed to shove my legs behind me with a mighty grunt, then I flopped gracelessly on my stomach. DT and I had a good chuckle and now I'm back to doing lotus jumpbacks pretty much the same way I was before (baby steps!). I think my Chaturanga must be evolving though, because my triceps hurt in a new way.

On Saturday, I went to DT's vinyasa class again. This class is turning out to be very good idea. I look forward to it because it's challenging. I'm really the slow kid in this class!

When DT teaches something new-to-me (and she seems to each week), I always give it a go. Then, I rest on my belly (or my head, or my arm - whichever part I've just crash-landed on) and watch almost everyone else hold the pose gracefully for a full five counts. There's a whole world of arm balances that I'm not yet able to do and for some reason, this is very reassuring to me.

During my holiday, I managed to do just one productive thing: clip Princess Fur. She looks great, but it took hours of cuddles afterward and a few strategic treats to get her out of her grump! Here she is, mid-clip:





The Princess is MOST displeased!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Figureheads and Frogs

Nice practice this morning. I felt a *little* less like I was frozen in carbonite. ;-)

One of the many joys of the past week-and-a-bit have been the adjustments in Intermediate Series. These poses were given to me after I left Shala Central and returned to my home practice. I wasn't in Montreal long enough to really 'settle into' the new stuff, so I didn't get any intense adjustments there.

As my shoulder has continued to heal, I've reintroduced elements of my practice. It's been a couple of months since I did full Bhekasana. I've been doing the pose one side at a time. Last week, I started flirting with the full pose and yesterday, decided to go full throttle.

And I got the adjustment, OMG the adjustment! Intermediate Series friends gave me the heads up this one. I don't what it LOOKS like, but I can now tell you that it FEELS just like this:


Cue: Angels singing. "LAAAAAAAA"

Joy!

Other things that made me smile today:

-Taking not one, but TWO naps today. My noon class cancelled, so I even had time for a long walk. And tonight, I'm going to bed on time. I'll get 8 hours sleep. The awesomeness!!!

-The guy standing near me on the streetcar tonight. He was having an animated conversation with Jesus. Oblivious to the stares from the uncomfortable cloud of commuters around him, he closed his eyes and continued to fervently make his case. Loudly. He was still at it when I exited at the subway station. Hey, if you're gonna fly your freak flag, then wave it PROUD!

-The way Princess Fur's ears flop up and down when she runs. Reminds me of when she was a puppy and my heart melts a little bit every time.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The stories we choose to tell...

Whenever I read a blog post written in a melancholy tone, by someone who is wearing their heart on their sleeve without telling you exactly what that is - I always wonder. What's the story?

The blogosphere is a stange place. Our faces are pages and our stories are the ones we *choose* to tell. It's difficult to read about sadness and not want to hear the backstory too. Our hearts ask: "Why?"

Earlier this month, I gave Princess Fur her spring haircut. In the winter, I keep her body fur long for warmth, but in the more temperate months, I groom her like the almost-show-dog she is. She always looks gorgeous and turns heads. She was a half-inch too tall to show, but she'll always be my champion!

Clipping the winter fur from her body is like shearing a sheep. It's fun! When I flipped her over to shave the fur from her underside, something didn't look right. There was a lump. On her lower ribcage. About the size of a golfball. As I held her in my arms, open and tender with her little exposed belly beaming up at me, heavy tears dripped down on the dog, my arm, the clippers.

I was so afraid. Little dogs are not supposed to have big lumps. Big lumps spell trouble. I was in the last days of the Big Busy before spring break, but as soon as I could, I made an appointment with the vet.

And then I waited. And waited.

This story has a happy ending: The vet did his examination. The lump is benign and harmless (and it's still there - now commonplace, instead of terrifying). The Princess received a clean bill of health. We practicallly skipped home, stopping through as many dog parks as we could find on the way.

But I haven't forgotten that terror of Not Knowing, so I've been spending more time cuddling, less time surfing. I've been blogging less, personal journaling more. I've been sharing my stories privately with friends via email and over lunch.

I'm still practising, as always. But the ins and outs of my yoga practice seem less important these days. I just do the practice and let it go. I'm less attached, but the focus of my attachment has just shifted.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Yoga Dog of Big City Canada

Once again, not a bad practice this morning. It appears that my dread and anticipation of getting on the mat is far more traumatic than the act itself. Silly brain! *eyeroll*

I'm continuing to work on my Intermediate poses, with modifications for my shoulder injury. Here's the rundown:

Pasasana: I can bind on the left side, but not the right (I'm limited in the same way in Marichyasana). I've been 'doing my best' on the bad side, which means working within the limitations of the injury.

Krounchasana: The left side of this pose is the last hold-out for my gimpy hamstring - it hurts. I'm able to come into the pose with care, but it's not deep. The right side is fine, though, full expression.

Shalabasana: Terrific and easy! Thank you, Mr. Choudhury :-)

Bhekasana: It's out of the question right now. That particular rotation of the shoulder triggers the pain of my injury precisely. Even doing one side at a time is painful. Instead, I'm doing Supta Virasana to stretch out my quads.

Dhanurasana: This is another pose that has benefited from Mr. Choudhury's yoga regime. Parva Dhanurasana aggravates the injury, though (I re-injured my shoulder about a month ago rolling over to the right) so I'm not re-adding it until I'm fully recovered.

Ustrasana: Pure joy! I can clearly remember a time when I hated this pose, but now it's a high point. My favourite part is the hang back, when I can feel my legs working.

Laghu Vajrasana: I'm making steady progress. I lost some ground during the early days of the injury, but I'm getting stronger now. Good thing I'm having fun with this one, because I'm stuck here for the foreseeable future.

********************
I gave the Princess her Spring Fur Makeover on the weekend. The weather is warming up, so I felt a bit more confident cutting off 3 inches of hair from her body. It was a bit like shearing a sheep!


Do I detect an accusing stare?

The new haircut is in preparation for Princess Fur's exciting new project! She will soon begin filming the pilot episode of her new reality television series: "Yoga Dog of Big City Canada".

*throatclearing*

'Yoga Dog of Big City Canada' takes us inside the daily routines and dramas of Princess Fur, a miniature schnauzer with a passion for walkies, frequent naps and Greenies. A cold, drab, Canadian city forms a glamourous backdrop for the day-to-day adventures of our dynamic canine and her grumpy human companion, the Reluctant Ashtangi.

Follow Princess Fur's journey of self-discovery as she sleeps through the Primary Series, walks on the Ashtangi's Manduka mat without permission and begs for breakfast while her human companion is trying to 'take rest'.

This show will TRANSFORM LIVES, people!

No doubt her wardrobe will need to include eensie-weensie-tiny yoga shorts. Do they make these for dogs?

Stay tuned!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Unplugged

As I started to construct a new 'practice schedule' after completing my month at Hot Central, I knew one thing for certain: I wanted a day off, a real, genuine day OFF. Last year, I was teaching 7 days a week; there wasn't a single day that I wasn't doing something yoga related, whether teaching or a vigorous practice. It was wearing me out!

Late last year, I *finally* cleared my Sundays. With a work-free day available, I've decided that henceforth, Saturday will be a practice day and Sunday will a rest day (it's not the Astanga standard, but very little of my practice is these days). I often do a bit of yoga on my day off, but it's usually Yin or Restorative - something low key. I've decided that's allowable in my new scheme.

But I decided to add another, somewhat contentious, element to this day of rest: no work-work (business-related/cleaning/errands; with fun personal projects excepted) and NO INTERNET.

Originally, the plan was for 'no computers or internet' but since I've gone 'paperless', much of my life now revolves around the screen. My journaling is done on computer, my magazines live there and even many of the books and articles I read are electronic (what I can't get at the library, I buy on my Kindle).

As I moved through my Sunday, I was amazed by how often I referenced something on the iPad, even without Internet available. I keep a dream journal, jot down quotes, look up recipes, maintain a list of 'books read' and 'books I want to read', and use a meditation timer.

So, what did I actually DO with my work-and-internet-free day? Lots! I read, read, read, mostly. I finished *two* books and started two others, which kind of amazes me. I also took Princess Fur for two long walks, enjoyed a hot bath and visited my favourite South Indian restaurant for lunch. I cleaned out a bathroom cabinet, drank lots of decaffeinated-green-tea-chai and took an afternoon nap. I did some restorative yoga and meditated.

I broke my own rules and did a tiny bit of work that I had forgotten to finish yesterday and, of course, I'm writing this blog post. But frankly, I'm astounded by how much 'free time' I liberated simply by turning off the cellular connection on my iPad. No tweets, no RSS feeds, no email. I miss it, but I kinda don't miss it.

Verdict? It was great and I plan to make it a weekly event.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Breaking news! It's snowing! In Canada!

In fact, it's snowing pretty much *everywhere*. Except Hawaii. And Belize. We're having a storm!

Since I live in a Happy Little Yoga Bubble and rarely partake of mainstream media or news sources, this information came to me a bit late. I was teaching a kid's yoga class last night when one of the six-year-olds blithely informed me that a 'big storm was coming' and that 'school was cancelled'. I thought she was joking until I Iooked at the forecast.

The first snowfall hit overnight. It was enough to close ALL the schools, but not enough to keep me and 11 other people from attending Peanut's 9:30 class at Hot Central. And it wasn't enough to deter any of my noon students. I taught a fiery vinyasa practice to a full room!

But all of my evening classes were cancelled, which means I had a rare and wonderful 'snow day.' I spent the day curled up in the window seat watching the second snowfall cover the city with a white blanket. Then Princess Fur and I played in the park.


Princess Fur is not a fan of her winter gear. She averts her eyes and refuses to look at me as I put her boots on, then she stays rooted in one place, barely moving a muscle, abject misery written all over her face. Until the elevator comes and I force her to 'come'.


She's fine once we get outside. In fact, she loves the snow! She was a November puppy, so this is what the world is *supposed* to look like in her eyes.

Snow removal is a bit funny in our city. There are strict laws that govern the shoveling of sidewalks. Home owners are required to shovel the walks in front of their property - strict fines are levied if they don't comply. But the actually *streets* in our neighbourhoods are sometimes not cleared for days, as the city plows focus on the main roads.


And of course, the park ice rink is cleared right away, hand-shoveled by eager little ice hockey enthusiasts who are home from school! (I've done it, back when I used to volunteer for the rink - it's a heavy task!).

********************
Practice Report

Today, I took a class at Hot Central. Surprise! Midweek Bikram Yoga!

Last week, I went to the Friday community class and that was great, but I keenly missed Peanut's Wednesday morning class. Wednesday were always my favourite day!

I was mulling over various options for class passes when the universe firmly intervened. I was offered a discount on classes which brought the price into an affordable range and then that *exact* dollar amount magically dropped into my account. When the universe speaks *so* clearly, I must listen. I'm set for hot classes through the fall. I can even occasionally attend Almond's Monday morning class.

For the foreseeable future, the weekly plan is: 4 days of Astanga, 2 days of Bikram, 1 day of Yin (on Sunday, which is now firmly my *day off*; no classes and very light practice).

Ironically, I was feeling somewhat 'off' this morning; a bit low energy. The room wasn't too hot, but for some reason I was dizzy and queasy - a first for me. But I just carried on as usual and it was fine.

I warmed up with my usual hip openers and six Urdhva Dhanurasana, then stood on my head until class started. The standing poses were tough, but I was fine for the seated. Peanut is very generous with feedback and he pushes us without being an asshole about it. I learned a few new things about standing-head-to-knee today and with his encouragement, I touched my knee to my shoulder for the first time in Pavan Muktasana. Honestly, I never thought I would do that!

It was fun to see some of my Bikram 'shalamates' again. After 30 days of morning classes, I had started to know a few people. I chatted with the guy who always sets up his mat to my right. A local teacher also comes to these morning classes regularly. We rarely talk, but it's nice to see her around and to know there's a fellow Ashtangi in the room.

It felt comfy falling back into the easy routine I followed in January, even if only for a day. Tomorrow, it's back to Astanga.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Warm heart, cold nose

Cutest thing ever: When Princess Fur sits on the floor near the window seat and begs to come up for cuddles. My heart MELTS. Also: there are few things more blissful than cuddling a warm, furry dog in my arms while sipping tea and gazing out the window at fluffy little snow flakes drifting around. The Princess is still up here, her head nestled against the instep of my left foot as I blog.

*happysigh*

I'm well-prepared to soak up every blissful moment of this weekend. Yesterday, I woke at the usual time, but instead of doing yoga (I went to the evening Bikram class instead), I did the grocery shopping, cleaning, some extra laundry, prepped meals for the coming week and ran errands. With all of these tasks complete, I was able to sit around and read a book in the afternoon. And It feels good to move into the weekend with these mundane little tasks complete!

And thank goodness I cleared the time, becauseI have big plans for this afternoon: Tax preparation. *sigh* On the bright side, once it's done, it's DONE and I can pass if off to my accountant. I'm hoping to get through it today.

I have an excellent incentive. I can return to this book:


It's wonderful! I'm dying to see the film now...

********************
A brief practice report, such as it is...

I heated the apartment this morning in preparation for my full Astanga practice then realised that my LH had arrived. Boo! So I did the Suryas, fundamental standing poses, my Intermediate poses, three Urdhva Dhanurasana and Padmasana. Then I put my legs up a wall and chilled. It was the perfect compromise!

My shoulder is feeling pretty good. Actually, *both* my shoulders are a bit sore right now, but that's to be expected (Hello, Chaturanga...it's been awhile, hasn't it?).

There are a few postures that trigger the pain of the injury, mainly anything that introduces an intense inward rotation of the right arm while reaching my arm around my back (Prasarita Padottanasana C, most binds). Bhekasana is still not fun, but Dhanurasana is fine until I move into Parva Dhanurasana, which is VERY painful. I don't generally do it unless I've laid a blanket to the side as my 'shoulder landing zone'.

The next few days will be light on yoga and heavy on rest, but I'll keep in touch...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Thoughts from the Sand Box

Wow, nothing like putting your heart on your sleeve to draw out all of the really nice people and also some of the not-so-nice ones. I appreciated the nice comments and emails. You guys are great!

But I guess I should clarify: I'm not necessarily quitting Astanga. I don't know *what* I'm going to do. I do realise that there's a culture of 'working through injuries' in this practice and I've certainly done my share of that with the hamstring injury. But this shoulder thing is a different beast all together.

I would have to love Astanga a whole LOT in order to suffer through the kind of pain and discomfort I've been experiencing lately on the mat on a longterm basis. I've spoken to other longtime practitioners and this seems to be one of those injuries that can be a permanent fixture. So it worries me.

Because I teach yoga for a living, I need to ask myself if I'm prepared to sacrifice my career for Astanga Yoga. I think the answer to that question is a rousing "NO". I think there are times when a line needs to be drawn. This is a classic 'overuse injury'. It's awful - I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I've never sought to be the poster child for Traditional Astanga, so I'm sorry if I've disappointed anyone. But the bottom line is, this is about me. Me, me, me. And my life, my passion and my sole source of income. If the past month of 'yoga tourism' has taught me anything, it's that I can be happy without Astanga. My joy in life is not based on one particular style of yoga (though the jury is still out on whether I could be happy giving up yoga altogether).

Private to 'Anonymous':
The answer to your question is 'No.' Because this is a BLOG. Not the Bible, the Torah or any other authoritative guide. And I'm not your G-d or your mother or your guru. I'm just an ordinary woman on her own journey, who happens to share her thoughts through writing. If I decided to jump off a bridge, I'm certain you wouldn't consider doing the same. This principle also applies to the decisions I make about my Asana practice. It's time to put on your Big Girl Pants and learn to form your own opinions based on your own experience. A terrific place to being this journey is your own yoga mat. Good luck with that.

And this is for everyone:
I moderate my comments. This means that every single comment that is posted on this blog has to be approved by me *first*. If it's not nice or you're being a jerk, or you're trying to push your own agenda, I won't click 'publish'. I hope that as yoga practitioners and people of quality, we can play nicely in the sandbox with one another. But I won't host a flame war on my blog and I won't let anyone shit on me in my own space.

Please, let's practice some Ahimsa and be kind to one another. If our yoga practice isn't teaching us how to do that, I don't see what good it is.




Princess Fur, playing nice in her own 'sandbox'.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Astanga

At least once a month, I have a week when everything feels comfortable and though I wouldn't say it feels 'easy', it's not difficult to bring myself to the mat each morning.

This week was like that. I enjoyed my practices and even when some things didn't 'go well', I still felt happy and blessed and had that glowing sense of contentment for hours afterward.

'Early' is working for me. This morning, I really noticed my breath, as regular as a heartbeat, leading me from pose to pose. If I can establish that rhythm early on, I can ride its coat tails from the first Surya to Uth Pluthi.

Breath, bandhas and driste make it all easier. Who knew? ;-)

This was a week of solid, easy binds in the Marichyasanas and a return to normalcy in Supta Kurmasana (related to losing a few pounds, I suspect). Urdhva Muhka Pachimottanasana has been especially good lately - I can come up holding the outside of my feet most of the time and my legs feel *very* straight as I hold the pose.

Dropbacks were dodgy today, but I easily stood up from the futon three times. I'm laughing as I type this - it's either one or the other, isn't it? But...I think I was *too* close to the futon yesterday. It seems very important to push into my feet and try to straighten my legs as I rockbackexhale to give me that extra upward momentum when I rockforwardinhalestandup.

Tomorrow is a Moon Day. And I have a big weekend ahead of me!

********************
Waking up early has been a bit challenging but I've had some help. I have a new alarm clock. I've always wanted a 'zen alarm clock' but they're pricey.

A few weeks ago, while perusing the Apple Store, I found a 'progressive alarm clock' app for my iPad. The alarm sounds with a series of 'tibetan bowl' chimes which gradually increase in volume and frequency over the course of 7 minutes (or however long you time them).

Instead of being jolted out of sleep by an alarm, my dreams are gently interrupted by this barely-audible chime. It's really changed the way I wake up. I'm less groggy and grumpy when I wake slowly.

It's also made me much more aware of what I'm dreaming in the last moments of sleep. I'm discovering periods of rare 'lucid dreaming' when I can choose to ignore the chimes and continue with whatever dream-activity I'm involved in. In some cases, I've even hurried to 'wrap things up' in the dream before the chimes finally draw me out of sleep.

The app includes a dream journal, so I've been jotting down a few notes about my dreams (still fresh in my mind) after waking. I've always joked that I have exceptionally vivid and entertaining dreams (I don't watch television, so maybe this is my silly brain's way of entertaining itself!), but now I'm realising how truly bizarre my dreams are, particularly when reading about them days later.

The app is available for iPad, iPhone and iTouch. And it's 2 bucks.

********************


I ran some errands this morning after my noon class and took Princess Fur with me. She both loves and loathes being out and about in the city. The noise of the subway scares her, but she loves the smells.

And making a mad dash for the street car is SO much more fun with a happy dog romping at your side! :-)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Astanga

Getting to the mat today reminded me of a game of ‘Chutes and Ladders.’ The alarm went off at 7:30. I went back to sleep. Again, at 8 and again, I went back to sleep. I was finally up at 8:30, but I checked email and got sucked into the ‘Internet Vortex’ for awhile. Around 9, I took a salt bath and sat down to meditate. That’s when the locksmith arrived to do some work on my door.

*sigh*

Between Princess Fur’s anxiety: Woof! Roo, roo, roo! (Translation: Strange people! In our home! HIGH ALERT!) and the noise: POUND, POUND, DRILLLLLL! (I already had a headache *owmyhead*), practice wasn’t an option. So I waited it out and ate a BIG breakfast. By noon, I was still feeling miserable, but at least it was quiet and I had some privacy again. Princess Fur was napping.

It was one of those days when I seriously didn’t think I would get through my entire practice. I was almost certain I would stop at some point and give up. My belly was full of breakfast. My head was pounding. The whole practice just seemed so LONG and difficult.

When I feel this way, I don’t think about the whole thing. I approach it in bite-sized parts:

First, I decided to just get through the Sun Salutations. Done!
Then I tackled the Fundamental Standing Poses. Okay.
Then I decided to get as far as the Janus....and so on.

I didn’t make a decision about my Intermediate poses until Setu Bandhasana and then I was all “Oh, what the hell...I’ll do them!” (It’s only 8 poses, after all...). Once I got through the Intermediate backbends, Urdhva Dhanurasana and the dropbacks seemed like recreation (right now, dropbacks are my favourite part of practice, closely followed by trying to stand up from the futon *armflail*).

I wasn’t expecting a great practice today, particularly given the HUGE bowl of cereal I ate right before I stepped on the mat. I didn’t think I would be binding *anything*. Well, SURPRISE!!! I was binding *everything*. The wrist bind on the first side of Mari D is back and I was able to bind Supta Kurmasana. I guess I can’t blame my Buddha Belly (I still have it).

Dropbacks are getting better and better. No futzing necessary! I just drop back. The feet *drumrollplease* are now back on my Manduka, though woefully splayed out. Alignment! I know! I’m working on it...

My first attempted stand-up from the futon was fabulous! The second, I didn’t even get a rock in before I catapaulted wildly forward and landed on my knees. OUCH! How did THAT happen?!

It was too much for my silly brain. I tried two more times, but I couldn’t get over the new Fear. This time, it’s a Knee-bashing Fear. At least I’m coming up every time! That’s a new development.

Something is happening in my back. An opening? Nitara, my infamous ‘gremlin’ has moved into my left mid-back and she’s manifesting as muscle spasms. Side bends quiet her down. In the meantime, my backbends are getting deeper...

Behind-the-scenes footage. While I work hard trying to stand up up from the futon, Princess Fur naps:

(in my next incarnation, I want to come back as Princess Fur!)