THE RELUCTANT ASHTANGI

Does Yoga Count As Cardio? Do we care?

2012-01-28T18:26:00.001-08:00

Just in from the Huffington Post: Does Yoga Count As Cardio?.

Yet another article about yoga written by someone who really doesn't know a helluva lot about yoga (but to be fair, he admits as much). The question: Does yoga raise the heart rate to cardiovascular levels and does yoga burn significant calories?

The author disputes claims that Bikram Yoga burns upwards of 1000 calories during the course of a 90 minute class. He argues this point by citing studies that examine calorie expenditure during a typical beginner's Hatha yoga class and a typical Astanga yoga class. Mysteriously, he attempts to prove this point by measuring heart rate levels during various activities, like sitting on the couch, and jogging.

Fair enough, but my understanding is that calorie expenditure and cardiovascular fitness are two entirely different issues. It's like saying "That's an apple because it's an orange." We're always burning calories whether our heart rate goes up signficantly or not. You just burned a couple of calories reading this blog post. If you're heavier or have a high metabolism, you burned more calories than someone who is slim or has a low metabolism, regardless of your heart rate.

But that's beside the point. The real benefits of yoga have nothing to do with cardiovascular fitness or calorie burn. I doubt many serious yoga practitioners are stepping on their mats with the intention of burning lots of calories. Though I don't doubt my heart rate goes up significantly during my Astanga Yoga practice, that's not the reason I practice. It's not even on the radar.

I feel like I just read an article deconstructing a visit to Santa Claus, elaborating on all the evidence that Santa isn't real, but ignoring the practical and entirely valid reasons people take their kids to see him anyway.

And it makes me just a bit sad that this article completely glosses over this point. I don't step on the mat every morning to 'burn calories' or 'raise my heartrate', nor do I seek to 'zen out' (as one commenter to the article so charmingly put it). My practice does make me stronger. It builds mental strength and clarity, self awareness and self-control. These are all good things too, they're not the primary reason I practice.

How many times do we need to say 'Yoga is not *just* exercise' before it starts to sink in to the collective consiousness?

If you asked me why I practice, I would struggle to put it into words. My practice has made me a better person in a thousand small, immeasurable ways. My daily yoga practice offers a structure to my life. It's helped me develop self-discipline. I'm also happier, more patient, less prone to anger, more sensitive to the needs of the people around me. I feel more at home in my body. I've learned to pay attention.

If I had to define it in one sentence, it would sound something like this: My practice connects me to something greater than myself; it gives me peace.

But let us suppose that reasons of fitness and weight loss *do* factor in. Here's where the article completely misses the boat:

- Practising yoga to lose weight is an exercise in futility, but so is running, or spending an hour on the stair-climber. Because exercise alone will not lead to weightloss. The weight loss formula is simple: Burn more than you consume. The best way to do this is by consuming less - in other words: moderating your food intake. If you want to lose weight, you'd best start with a food diary and dietary changes.

- Practising yoga can certainly raise your metabolism, especially practising a more vigourous style that emphasizes strength. Muscle burns more calories than fat, so if you build more muscle, your metabolism will inevitably go up which increase calorie burn during all activites.

- Practising yoga causes a suble mental shift, a state of great awareness. Often, overeating or emotion-triggered eating is a mindless act. Becoming more alert to the body's signals, more willing to face discomfort and more aware of our own resistance to change and difficulty can shift eating patterns. Nearly all daily yoga practitioners who I've spoken with cite changes in their eating habits that correlate with their yoga practice. Studies indicate that yoga can lead to significant behavioural changes, including our relationship to food.

Do you agree with this article? Why do *you* practice yoga? What benefits have come from your practice that the article doesn't mention?

Princess Fur finds that yoga enhances her ability to nap, particularly when I'm doing it. ;-)

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Where everybody knows your name

2012-01-27T18:29:00.001-08:00

To be perfectly honest, the fringe benefits of getting up at 4:30 in the morning and travelling to a shala to practice yoga are sometimes elusive, but here's one: great customer service!

Not only have I come to know some of my fellow riders on that 5:15 streetcar (the two or three who ride at that ungodly hour), but I've come to know the various drivers as well. I don't always have the same guy (and at that time of morning, it always seems to be a male driver) but it seems to be a consistent group.

This morning, the 5:15 streetcar never arrived, so I had to wait for the 5:30. One of my favourite drivers was driving that one. I greeted him and he shared the gossip: the 5:15 had broken down and was waiting in the bay for maintenance.

As I was exiting at my stop, I noticed that I didn't have my gloves with me. With a sinking feeling, I realised that they had probably fallen onto the streetcar platform at my originating station - I set them in my lap when I sat down to wait for the tardy streetcar. I told my driver and he promised that he would look for them the next time he passed through the station.

A few hours later, I finished my practice and I headed back to the station. When I approached a supervisor on the platform, I didn't even need to tell him what I was looking for. He said: "Gloves?" I nodded. He retrieved them from the control room for me.

At any other time of day, I'll bet those gloves would have never made it back to me, but at 5:30 in the morning, the world is just a bit friendlier...if you know the right people.

Stuff like this makes my big city feel smaller and warmer!

Princess Fur Friday: This is the smirk she gets on her face when she wants to be fed and I'm not fulfilling her Royal Demands quickly enough.

Lunch, Your Majesty? Rowr!

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Siddhis. And Google.

2012-01-26T12:18:00.001-08:00

Miss Stan wrote a hilarious blog post about teaching yoga to children. If you haven't read it yet, you should: Maybe a Really Sharp Knife.

I too teach children's yoga and I've told the story of Ganesha many times in my classrooms. It's the story I use when all hell breaks loose and I can't get their attention any other way. Because seriously? Kids LOVE that story. It's their favourite. I think they like it because it's quirky, and because somebody's (Ganesha's) head gets chopped off.

When I first started telling the story of Ganesha, I grappled with the same concerns that Miss Stan had. Story! Too Violent! Must sanitize! But, really, there isn't much you can do to santize head-chopping. Besides, half the kids in my classes go home after school and play 'Shoot-'em-up-and-chop-em-up' video games on their gaming consoles. And at least Ganesha gets a new head!

Eventually, I decided that I should just be brutally honest: "Shiva chopped Ganesha's head off." *plunk*

This worked really well...

Kid in the Spiderman Tee: "How? How did he chop the head? He used a sword?"
Me: "No. He used a trident!"
Kid in the Spiderman Tee: (bewildered look) "Gum?!"
Me: "A trident's a weapon. It's like a big fork."
Kid in the Spiderman Tee: "No way! You can't chop off someone's head with a fork!"
Me: "You can if you have siddhis!"

Ah ha! Siddhis! Thank the gods for siddhis! Siddhis explain everything!

I spent a few weeks teaching yoga to teen girls in a rough part of the city. A few days before my first class, someone was shot and killed on the same bus I rode to get there. But believe me, I was far more intimidated by the idea of teaching yoga to a bunch of reluctant teenagers who glared at me when I first walked into the room.

I won them over with arm balances.

Within a half-hour, they knew how to do Bakasana and I had been educated in a half-dozen slang words and pop-culture references that were entirely new to me. It was a fair exchange! Things were going so well, I decided to tell them the story of Ganesha.

Me: "So when Shiva came back from his sadhana in the forest, he found a strange young man guarding his wife's bath. He became very angry and took his trident..."
Girl with Sparkly Shirt: "Wait! Wait, Miss! Why was Shiva mad at his son?"
Me: "He didn't know Ganesha was his son. Remember? Parvati made Ganesha in the bathtub..."
Girl with braids: "With toenail clippings!"
Me: "Yeah, something like that..."
Girl with Sparkly Shirt: "I'll bet Shiva thought they were getting it on!"
Me: "Um, I'm not sure about that...(stalling)...but let me tell you about the trident! Shiva took his trident and chopped..."
Girl with braids: "Uh huh! Shiva was jealous!"
(all the girls start nodding, knowingly)
Girl with Sparkly Shirt: "Miss, was Parvati a MILF?"

The embarassing part of this story isn't the fact that a 14-year-old girl asked me if a Hindu goddess was a MILF. The embarrassing part of the story is that I didn't, in fact, know what a 'MILF' was.

But I was pretty sure that Parvati wasn't one...

Me: "No, Parvati was not a MILF. Now where was I? Oh yeah, the trident..."

*plunk*

After the class, the teacher walked me to the main door and thanked me. "The girls loved you." She quietly added, "And you handled the MILF thing really well!"

As soon as got home, I Googled.

OMG. *jawdrop*

Parvati is *definitely* not a MILF! LOL!

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No dignity for the fur'ed

2012-01-25T16:59:00.001-08:00

I had a class cancellation this afternoon, so I used the time to do something I've been putting off for months: grooming Princess Fur. I've been clipping her myself for nearly seven years now, so I'm pretty good at it. I can do the entire job, including clean-up, in under 90 minutes (my yoga practice runs longer than that).

The best part is, besides the time spent, it doesn't cost me anything. I recieved professional quality dog clippers as a birthday gift several years ago and I taught myself the skill through trial and error (dogs don't care if they have 'bad hair'). Since dog-grooming can cost upwards of $80 in this burg, I generally consider it time well spent.

But I still put it off endlessly and I'm not sure why. My back no longer tweaks out because I finally got smart and moved the whole operation to the kitchen counter. It's the perfect height for dog grooming (and yes, I realise that all you hygiene-nuts out there are clutching your throats in horror, but it works for me and I clean the kitchen thorougly afterward).

Princess Fur is calm and well-behaved as I groom her, mainly because she's wallowing in misery. She just stands there and looks persecuted the entire time, occasionally hanging her head or shooting me an anguished stare ("howcouldyoudothistome?!"). Grooming her is fun, in a reductive, sheep-shearing sort of way.

Anwyay, it's done now and I can proceed to put it off for another two months or so until my dog resembles a small, gray wookie and then the cycle will start all over again: Procrastination. More fur. More procrastination. Too much fur. Too much procrastination...and so on.

Two things:

Each time I groom the Princess, I notice the age spots more and more. Schnauzers tend to get them and she's covered in them now. She's starting to look like a dalmation! They make me a bit sad - it's a sign she's getting old.

She's turning into an eccentric old lady! A few years ago, I had to get her front incisors pulled so now her tongue sticks out whenever she's relaxed. She's the goofy spotted dog with the tongue sticking out! Someone get her a polka-dotted cane to match!

Also, I tend to keep Princess Fur's coat longer in the winter to give her extra protection against the cold. But this winter has been so mild, she's been a bit *too* warm. So I gave her the summer cut.

Giving your dog a summer cut in the winter is probably just asking for trouble. It's like washing your car because you're *sure* it's not gonna rain - you're bound to regret it.

Just watch! I'll bet within 48 hours, the temperatures will drop to -30 or so. I'll need to double-layer my shivering dog and I'll feel like a Bad Lady for it. But you can thank me for bringing back winter!

You're welcome!

See the spots? After her post-clip bath, she stumbled around shivering with great drama. So I let her come up on the bed and covered her up in my flannel pyjamas.

She wouldn't turn around for this photo, though. The Princess is NOT amused!

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Rishis and Community

2012-01-24T12:47:00.001-08:00

There has been some interesting discussion in the Cybershala about the 'Rishi Series'. This was a series that advanced practitioners used to do either following sixth series or after finishing Intermediate (as a preparation for Advanced).

(Note: This was practised in the past, but isn't part of the Astanga method as now taught in Mysore. Thanks, Susan, for making this clarification in your comment on this post.)

You can read more about this on Grimmly's blog:
Ashtanga Rishi Series(explanatory post)
Ashtanga Rishi Approach: First Day
Ashtanga Rishi Approach: Second Day

Ursula has been experimenting with it too:
Dandasana and My Rishi Series Variation

I'm keen to try this myself, though it will need to happen as a second practice, probably falling on a Sunday when I have time to experiment. I'm feeling very good about the direction and intensity of my shala practice right now and I don't want to break any momentum there.

Still, sometimes I will 'Rishi up' some of the poses in my regular practice. Sirsasana is one, but I suspect everyone goes through that phase eventually. I was up to 10 minute holds when I finally got bored - literally bored, which was probably a good reason to stay with it, come to think of it! ;-)

There are definitely a few poses in my current practice that would benefit from longer holds. I've already been holding Ustrasana for longer durations. Right now, I typically hold it for a minute, but two or three minutes would be an interesting experiment.

I've noticed during these longer holds that the barrier to staying in the pose isn't physical, it's purely psychological. Napper has blogged about taking long holds with Kapotasana B. I use this pose as a warm-up to A and I struggle just to get through five breaths! But I'm pretty sure a longer hold would be good for me. I've also found that repeating Kapo A doesn't seem to help me much. I'm wondering if holding it longer would?

Just an aside, I've been impressed and deeply touched by these amazing senior teachers who have so readily responded to Grim's queries regarding the Rishi Series and the Astanga series 'as it was' (in the 70s - a topic for another time). It makes my heart swell to see this generosity of spirit and community. It's a lovely antidote to some of nastiness and infighting that occasionally pops up amonst yogis.

They're certainly leading by example! As I read Nancy G's letter, the Astanga community suddenly felt smaller, warm and intimiate, very supportive. It made me proud of this lineage and the people who practice it. When the Cybershala is awesome, it's *really* awesome!

What do you think of the 'Rishi Series'? Do you hold any poses in your practice for longer durations? Have you experienced any benefits from doing so? Anyone out there experimenting with a Yin-style practice?

This was from the fall - I have no idea what my backbend looks like these days. Maybe I'll do a photo shoot soon. But not on the balcony! ;-)

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Creative Avocado-ing

2012-01-23T12:56:00.001-08:00

One of the things I miss most as a vegan is pudding. Any kind of pudding, actually, but especially chocolate pudding. I really can't eat soy and the soy puddings I've tried never quite tasted the same anyway.

To be honest, I don't think it's possible to entirely replicate the chocolate pudding experience diary-free, but I recently stumbled across something that comes remarkably close. When I spotted Frozen Chocolate Avocado Cups on Laura's blog, I immediately bookmarked it.

Avocados were on sale last week! :-) I decided to give it a shot.

The first thing you need to know is that this recipe works best with VERY ripe Avocados. I let mine sit for a few days until they were quite mushy underneath the skin. This isn't a Vitamix recipe - a plain old hand mixer does the job better because you can use a spatula to scoop the finished product into the paper cupcake cups afterward.

I taste-tested the mixture before freezing and it's subtley sweet with a pudding-y texture. This recipe is adapted from a 'vegan chocolate pudding' recipe which also sounds amazing (the recipes are almost identical - Laura just leaves out the vanilla extract and adds nuts).

My mind is already jumping ahead to other uses - pie filling, anyone?

I really enjoyed this as a frozen treat. The chocolate cups reminded me a bit of the 'fudge bars' I used to love as a child. And because they're cold, I'm less inclined to eat them too quickly. They would make a fun treat in the summer!

Be sure to check out Laura's blog! It's full of fun vegan and raw recipes. All the recipes are illustrated with her photos.

Here's the recipe:

Frozen Chocolate Nut Avocado Cups (makes 4)

1 *ripe* avocado
2 heaped teaspoons of cocoa powder
3 tablespoons of agave syrup
3 tablespoons of walnuts
(this is the same recipe and measurements I used for the plain pudding yesterday - just omit the nuts)

Reserve a couple of the walnuts to top each cup then add the rest to a food processor and blitz until chopped. Put to one side. Add the avocado flesh to the processor along with the cocoa powder and agave and blend until smooth. Mix in the chopped nuts then spoon into muffin cases and top with half a walnut for decoration. Freeze for at least 2 hours before serving.

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Invasion of the Dust Bunnies

2012-01-22T18:30:00.001-08:00

Everyone has their personal tipping point when it comes to domestic chaos. My blech-o-metre is pretty hair-trigger, but when I'm busy I find it hard to keep up.

At the moment, I have only one day off per week and that day is a Sunday. I still do my Mysore practice on that day, so it's not entirely a laze-around-at-home day.Theoretically, it's also the day I run all my errands and pick up groceries, but I usually try to sneak that stuff into the week so I can relax on Sundays. And the urge to relax (read: lay in bed reading a good book and sipping chai) often means cutting corners.

Alas, I couldn't ignore it any longer: my floors were filthy. Last year, when I was practising at home every day, I kept the floors in a state of pristine cleanliness. I swept daily, mopped weekly. A friend joked that she would happily eat a meal off the floors of my apartment. When I started practice at the shala, it didn't seem as important anymore and the floors languished.

To be honest, I can't remember the last time I mopped! *hangs head*

I'm not sure what tipped me over the edge today, but I suspect it was the colony of dust bunnies that established themselves around Princess Fur's crate. I couldn't even bring myself to take a nap this afternoon - the need to sweep and mop felt *that* urgent.

And that's how Princess Fur found herself confined to her basket under my desk, completely surrounded by toys! And my floor mopping adventure turned into a epic three hour domestic blitz.

The dust bunnies have been evicted! (but not the dog)

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It's never too late to be awesome

2012-01-21T19:32:00.001-08:00

When I was a young child, my mother used to take me to the local racetrack. I know it doesn't sound like the most wholesome of places for a little kid to hang out, but I just loved it here because I adored horses.

I'd hang out down by the track, watching the grooms scurry about and hero-worshipping the jockeys. I was a tall child (and would become a tall adult). I used to tell anyone who would listen that I wanted to be a jockey when I grew up. They humoured me with amused glances. At age 11, I was already taller than most of the jockeys!

I noticed that in almost every race, there were frontrunners. Sometimes they retained their lead and won the race or another horse in the middle of the pack would overtake them. But there were always a few horses who hesitated coming out of the gate and lagged behind for the entire race.

Long after the cheers had died away for the winners and spectators had turned away to cash in their winnings or buy a drink between races, these game competitors would cross the finish line without fanfare.

Except from me. Because I would stand by the fence and cheer my little heart out for the horses that were coming in last.

I remain a champion of valiant finishers!

Yoga, it seems, is still Wrecking Our Bodies and though it seems like just about everyone who was going to weigh in has weighed in, there *are* a few remaining responses to the debate.

Let's cheer them to the finishline:

OM My God Who Wrecked Our Yoga
How The NYT Can Try To Wreck Yoga
Article Throws Exponents Off Balance
The Great Yoga Divide
Leslie Hendry: The NYT Stepped on My Yoga Toes
Yoga Can Save Your Body

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Schedule Hoarder

2012-01-20T20:20:00.001-08:00

I realised something today, as I was knashing my teeth over feeling so overwhelmed and so overscheduled: I'm overwhelmed and overscheduled. Epiphany, I know.

The thing is, this stuff just sneaks up on you. You add one thing, and then another, and still another. You think that it's a good idea to be social, building community is golden, participating in activism of some kind seems like a civic responsibility in this day and age, volunteer work feels virtuous and what about seeing friends?

I'm pretty good about keeping the physical clutter out of my space. What I seem to be accumulating is obligations and they're slowly taking over my life. Since there isn't a lot of space in my life to start with, the main activity being pushed out is good ol' sleep.

I'm exhausted and cranky. My afternoon nap (necessary after only 5 hours of sleep last night) was interrupted by a phone call from one of my cluttery obligations.

Clearly, it's time to declutter. I'm starting tomorrow.

A return to 'Princess Fur Friday' - this shot is from the summer. Happy days of sun-soaked afternoons. I miss them too!!!

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Still Out-Dooced

2012-01-19T13:06:00.001-08:00

Most of us here in yoga-blog-land are busy either being indignant or completely nonchalant about Bodies-Being-Wrecked and Viral-Yoga-Videos. But outside our cozy little circle, Dooce has separated from her husband and it's Big News.

Dooce and I go way back. No, really! ;-) Here's the story:

I started my first blog in late 2000, back when Blogger was brand new and there were exactly 8 bloggers in my city (We all knew one another and used to meet up to go bowling - and all are still good friends of mine). In those early years, I was interviewed by both our city newpaper *and* the national one. I gave a radio interview and appeared twice on a national talk show. All because of my blog. My blog attracted a mind-blowing 500 readers per week (times have changed: this blog averages that same amount in about a day).

Back then, there were very few cut-and-dried rules about what you should or shouldn't blog about. We were all winging it and I winged it badly. I made the mistake of writing about work on my blog and I was fired from my job as a result. About a month later, a blogger in the States named Heather Hamilton also (and more famously) got fired. Feeling her pain, I decided to send a note. We exchanged a few emails. "This sucks." "Yeah, it does suck." What else is there to say?

I never heard from her again, but I've certainly heard *of* her because Heather, Dooce, is now the owner of a online media empire. She's appeared on Oprah, runs marathons with Christy Turlington and has travelled the world on the strength of her blog an her story. Me? I became a yoga teacher. Different paths, indeed!

Heather has created a brand out of the very blog that got her fired. And her personal life has become part of it. Her home decore, daily photos of her dogs, stories about her two daughters - it's all there. She was the forerunner of a blogging genre called MommyBloggers and she does it really, really well.

The announcement of her trial separation from her husband brought up mixed emotions for me. All of us who blog publicly have had to sort through our own boundaries regarding what we do and do not post. I've stumbled through this process on a few different blogs, including this one. I still suffer as many misteps as I did with my very first blog over ten years ago. It's always a negotiation; It never gets any easier.

So this seems like a good opportuntity to talk about my vision for this blog, moving forward.

Last year, I took a hiatus from blogging. I was no longer comfortable with the format that had served me so well for almost four years: practice reports. Simply put, I no longer enjoyed writing publicly about the process of my Astanga practice. It felt uncomfortable, like shoes that had become too small. I simply outgrew it.

I was also struggling with how to manage my relationships with my teacher and my shalamates while writing so openly about my practice in a public sphere. That too felt uncomfortable. I didn't want to find myself in a situation where I might inadvertently upset my teacher. I wanted my communication with her to be free from that kind of 'static.'

I felt like I couldn't write honestly, not because of anything that had been said to me, but because of my own discomfort. When I started this blog, there were five readers and I knew all of them. My audience had expanded in wonderful and unexpected ways, but it had changed my writing.

I took a hiatus last year. I always enjoyed the blog and I missed writing it and being part of the 'Cybershala' community. I thought about how I could best serve my 'audience' if I came back. To be honest, the posts that drew the best response were always those that examined current issues in yoga or those fun personal stories that weren't practice-related. I suspect there are more than a few of you who come here just for the Princess Fur photos. ;-)

For my return, I made a promise to myself: I would write in this space each day for a month, just to get back in the habit (it's been hard!). I also had to make decisions regarding content and the boundaries around it. I decided that any specifics about my yoga practice/the shala/my teacher were now off-limits (writing about shalamates has always been off-limits).

I'm now using private online communities to update friends about my practice. If I need to get stuff off my chest, I write or talk to trusted friends (you know who you are and how precious you are to me).

It's a compromise that's seems to be working well so far. When January draws to a close, I'll continue writing but slow down the pace to a few posts per week. But as it stands, I *do* plan to continue writing.

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Presentation Matters

2012-01-18T11:58:00.001-08:00

I first viewed the controversal Equinox video a couple weeks ago and frankly wondered how long it would take to go viral and piss people off. The time is now. I'm suddenly been seeing it everywhere. It's been posted within my yoga circles on Facebook a half-dozen times and Grimmly just wrote a post commenting on it.

I'm not sure why I didn't dive right into this one. I suppose I'm just weary of this debate because it can go in so many different directions: What is yoga? Does western yoga objectify women's bodies? Are sex and yoga mutually exclusive? Does modern yoga glorify a particular body type to the exclusion of others? And on and on...

For me, it boils down to one word: intention. Intention is the reason I couldn't conjure up a lot of indignation over the naked-Kathryn-Budig-Toesox-ads. I'm familiar with Jasper Johal's photography and felt that the intention was good.

Back to Equinox. This video portrays a woman's yoga practice and it's a very nice one. Briohny Smyth is strong and lithe and she makes it all look easy. Even the atmosphere of the video is muted and gentle. So far, great intentions.

It's the camera angles I take issue with. The first time I watched, I was creeped out so I watched it again to figure out why. Gratuitous crotch shots, boob shots, close-ups. It was all a bit over the top. For me, anyway. And I know that others may feel differently and that's okay. I guess I just wish the whole thing had been shot from one angle to capture the full beauty of Briohny's practice, instead of exploring the lines of her underwear.

To sum up: The practice=good intentions. The camera angles and production=bad intentions.

Interestingly, Briohny Smyth is a student of Kathryn Budig, of naked-Toesox-ad fame. Budig wrote an article for the Huffington Post in which she explores the issue from her own perspective and she also interviews Briohny to capture hers: Stop Judging and Read.

Meanwhile, the Equinox video continues to wrack up the hits, over a million last count. In skill and strength, I think Laruga's practice videos are every bit as impressive as this one (perhaps more so), but I doubt she gets those kind of numbers.

You see? Presentation matters!

If you're in the mood to view some 'real world' morning yoga, Nadine shares her early morning practice with this video: Not Quite Equinox. It probably looks a bit more like what most of you experience at home, add a cat or dog or small child into the mix.

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Expect the Inexplicable

2012-01-17T17:36:00.001-08:00

Today was sponsored by the phrase "I never saw THAT coming!"

Over and over again, I found myself on my toes, facing the unexpected.

Divorcing friends. Nothing much to say about this one except, 'Wow, you were head over heels just last month - what happened? (In truth, I know all too well how it happened - I've been there myself...).

Wonky weather. March in January? No, thank you.

New cavities in my mouth when I was just in the dentist's chair last month. Do cavities even grow over a month? And while we're on the subject, how is it that now that I'm taking care of my teeth with regular cleanings and dental care, my mouth is falling apart?!

My Ladies' Non-Holiday, which arrived with almost no warning at all and left me bedridden for most of the day. Blech.

A sudden reversal of fortune, which means for now, my morning routine is unchanged (but this could shift tomorrow).

Caution friends doing incautious things, Weird friends doing normal things.

Plus, a half-dozen other odd and inexplicable occurences that left me scratching my head.

Oh yeah, and decorative cabbages.

Okay, not really decorative cabbages, but I've had this image queued, trying to think of how to work it into a blog post.

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Fauxghetti

2012-01-16T18:47:00.001-08:00

This beauty of this is that it's vegan, raw (if you leave out the artichoke hearts) and I'm sure you could add daikon or a dash of shoyu or something to swing it in a Macrobiotic direction.

But mostly, it's just fun, a Faux Spaghetti with a Faux Cheesy Sauce. For this Italian girl, who has almost entirely given up pasta, it's a little bit of magic. I'll definitely be doing this again!

This was my maiden voyage with the new julienne grater and it was super easy. I couldn't believe how simple it was!

To top my noodle dish, I just used stuff that I had on hand: mixed up some raw green peppers, red peppers and sliced avocado heart (not raw) with zucchinni noodles (raw). Sliced black olives would have worked too, or sundried tomatos.

I used a sauce I improvised with some guidance from the interwebz. Roughly: 3 tbsp tahini, 1 tsp miso, 2 tbsp raw apple cider vinegar, 1 tbsp olive oil, 1 clove garlic chopped finely. All mixed up with water added to desired consistency.

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Warm Mitts

2012-01-15T16:50:00.001-08:00

We had our first snowstorm of the season on Friday. It started in the early morning while I was at the shala. I glanced out the window and realised that a small blizzard had started. It made me ridiculously happy. There's something warm and cozy and comforting about practising Mysore-style while a snowstorm swirls around outside.

My teaching assistant just returned from a vist with her family in Norway and she brought me a gift: a pair of mittens handknit by her own grandmother! As a handknitter, I'm particularly appreciative of a gift like this. I've been wearing them this week in the cold weather.

My assistant told me that when her grandmother knits, her hands are a blur and she rarely pauses or even looks down. The mitts fly off the needles, lovely and intricate and perfect.

This is kind of how I'm feeling about my practice lately - it's finally starting to come together.

For months, while learning the poses and transitions, I felt very clumsy - like a new knitter figuring out how to hold the needles, paying close attention to every stitch. I was deeply focused on the poses, finding the alignment, remembering what came next. My practice often felt ponderous and unwieldy.

Gradually, all of those details have started to come together, and the postures are starting to flow. I find myself thinking less about the poses themselves and more about the rhythm of the series.

Lately, my needles are flying! I'm moving intuitively through my practice and it's such a joy. Even those poses that challenge me seem to 'fit' into this flow and every day it gets a little bit better.

My practice has started to feel like a meditation again. After I'm finished and taking rest, I bask in this feeling of having created something intricate and lovely, just like those mittens. And I'm filled with a deep and satisfying joy that carries me through the day.

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Yogi Fashion Emergency

2012-01-14T18:00:00.001-08:00

Okay, let me put this out there: I'm not a big fan of shopping. I'm just not. And I'm almost embarrassingly oblivious to matters of fashion (but realise I should probably step it up a bit). When I'm teaching, my students are looking at me and of course they notice what I'm wearing.

I'm *sure* they weren't sending me a message or anything, but over the holidays, a group of them presented me with an impressive gift card to that Yoga-Clothing-Retailer-Everyone-Loves-To-Hate. I'm not necessarily a fan of Lu's business practices, but the fact is, their stuff holds up well, fits like a dream and looks good.

Since led class was cancelled today, I took this as a sign from the Universe that I was meant to spend the afternoon fumbling around in a tiny room under flourescent lights while a perky 20-something piped up outside the door, "How are those sizes working out for you, Kai?" (Lu is nothing if not dedicated to a persistently up-beat customer service experience *forced-smile*).

Anyway, the staff were pleasant enough. I went into the store with a gift card, a battle plan and a long-term strategy. It helped a lot, kept me focused in a room full of options. OMG!!! It was overwhelming!

But I walked out with new teaching clothes (crops and yoga bras) that will eventually become 'shala clothes' when my current set kick the bucket (I'm giving them another year; this is my 'long-term stategy'). And I took home a pair of gray leggings in the softest, most luxurious fabric, just for the joy of it. Love them!

But my favourite purchase of the day was a vegetable grater.

A few days ago, I visited a local 'gourmet kitchen gear' store and asked how one might create 'raw spaghetti' from zucchini. The sales staff (a posse of three) proudly presented me with a variety of huge, ludicrously expensive and scary-looking vegetable guillotines. I thanked them politely and ran for the door.

When I posed this same question to a serene, aproned sales associate at W-S, her eyes sparkled with joy and she placed a tiny vegetable grater in my hand. "This one is my favourite!" she exclaimed with genuine enthusiasm and explained how it can make zucchini spaghetti AND big long zucchini noodles for raw vegan lasagna.

By sheer serendipity, I had stumbled across the only vegan, raw-foodist sales associate at W-S. I wouldn't be surprised if she was also an authority on Macrobiotics. I wanted to kiss her.

*Mwah*

Isn't it gorg? And I brought it home for just $12. Recipe tomorrow! :-)

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Affordable Sequined Blugg

2012-01-13T18:52:00.001-08:00

Whenever I'm feeling a bit down, I know I can always turn to my comment moderation page for a quick lift. Today's bit of inspiration: "Discount Glitter Uh-gs give us a better life" (I've deliberately mispellt the name of the boot to foil the Google-bots - last thing I need is a slew of fugly boot referrals).

Now, I don't know about you, but I'm always up for something that gives me a better life. It's difficult to imagine anything more atrocious than the plain old garden-variety Uh-gs, but Glitter Uh-gs? That's a new twist! And Discount Glitter Uh-gs? Now you've got my attention!

Not that I'm going to post a spammy pseudo comment on my blog or anything. In fact, I changed the name of the product so I wouldn't give 'George Orwell' (*eyeroll*) any free publicity. But gee, George, thanks for playing!

Next...

If bodies were cars and Yoga was an 18-wheeler, it would be a 50-car pileup out there. Yoga is *still* 'Wrecking Your Body'. And everyone has something to say about it, too! Now we've got some of the stragglers weighing in: The guess-I'd-better-go-ahead-and-edit-this-video crowd, the 'I-wasn't-going-to-write-about-this-but-I-guess-I-will' crowd, and the 'this-will-be-great-fodder-for-my-newsletter crowd.

It's been a lot of fun compiling these. Maybe when it's finished (will it ever be finished?!), I'll create a master list, sort of like those aeriel photos of highway pileups you see on the news. Somebody call a tow truck!

One blogger suggested that the NYT article was intentionally controversial in order to stir the pot and promote the book. But the funny thing is, I can't remember the of that book or the author - all that leaps to mind is that somebody wrote a stupid article, everyone is talking about it, and Eddie Stern is The Awesome.

Oh yeah, and that guy in Virasana, chanting for world peace. I'll never forget that...

Anyway, here are a few more contenders:

Leslie Kaminoff: Video Clip

Morning Mysore: Why Fearing?

YogaSpy: Tell Me About Pain...

Dashama: Is Yoga Safe?

Doggs? D'uggs?!
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Magic Hours

2012-01-12T12:39:00.001-08:00

A blog friend of mine recently wrote about her morning routine. She described the serenity of those early hours, before her family wakes. It deeply resonated with me.

There's a kind of magic in doing the same thing, the same way, every day. So much of our lives are unpredictable and tenuous. It brings comfort to know that, for at least an hour or two, things will unfold exactly as we plan, with grace and certainty. In this magic hour, everything will be as we hoped.

My routine sustains me. I doubt I could carry a six-day Astanga yoga practice without it. It's certainly changed over the years - from shala to home practice (even to hospital) back to home practice, on the road, back to the shala. When I can, I settle into this steady drumbeat of my daily round, recreating it as circumstances require, clinging to it when it feels like everything else is falling apart.

Here's my current rhythm: Wake, journal, bathe and walk to the station. Ride the streetcar with a cast of characters who have become familiar and beloved to me over the months (at 5 a.m., not many people ride public transit and those who do tend to be consistent about it). When I arrive at the shala, I turn on the heat, sweep and get mats out for my shalamates. I take a few moments to circumambulate the room with a stick of incense to clear the space. I light candles, then sit down with my fingers wrapped around my mala beads to settle in for meditation. By 6 a.m., when the shala officially opens, I'm already reaching my arms up to embrace my first sun salutation.

No matter what happens the rest of the day, I have these golden moments of the early morning to sustain me. But I also know that everything could change in a heartbeat.

There's a very good chance that sometime in the next two weeks, my life is going to be completely turned upside down by events entirely outside of my control. I've been watching breathlessly, trying not to allow the fear of what might come taint my present moment. But it's incredibly difficult. I'm a planner, I like lists and schedules. I like to know what's up.

And the truth is, right now, I don't really know.

In the end, it may work itself out. Or, like a meteor already on course, it could be making ready to collide with this life of mine.

When I'm not freaking out about it, I'm trying to stay calm and nurture the faith that in the end, everything will all work out for the best. And it will - I'm sure of that, because everything always does whether we think it's going to or not. But it doesn't make it any easier, does it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For those of you still following the Wreck My Yoga Fallout, here are three additional responses to that NYT article that everybody loves to hate:

Peg Mulqueen: Caution, this yoga might be hot
The Awl: Six Reasons to Ignore The NYT Yoga Article
David Keil: Response to NYT Article

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Everything is achieved already

2012-01-11T12:24:00.001-08:00

When I'm teaching yoga to children, they often ask me how old I am. I almost always tell them that I'm 136 and they scream with laughter..."No, you're not!" When I insist that I am, I go on to explain that I appear so young and spritely because of all the yoga I do. ;-)

It's not a stretch. I'm in my 40s, but a student told me recently that, until I mentioned my age, she thought I was in my 20s. Honestly? I don't *really* look like I'm in my 20s (I *wish*!) but I think this speaks volumes about perceived age. Is youth a number or the ability to do a nice backbend?

Some would argue that it's a little bit of both. I've lost track of how many times I've heard master teachers say "You're as young as the health of your spine" (or variations on that theme).

Let's rewind a bit, say, 20 years. I was in my early 20s working as a professional field archaeologist on the east coast of the United States. Forget everything you've been told about archaeologists and bullwhips, or dental picks, or trowels for that matter. Try: shovels - and buckets. And screens full of heavy, heavy dirt. By the time I was in my mid-20s, I had wrecked my body.

(Let's add this item to our list: Archaeology Can Wreck Your Body.)

I was in chronic pain (my back and oddly enough, my feet) and went to a doctor. He shook his head: "You have the body of an 80-year-old woman", he said to my twenty-something self. His suggestion: 'bed rest'. Whenever I tell this story, I always throw air quotes around that prescription because I was a total spitfire back then and I had no intention of resting. I didn't like to rest.

The first day of 'bed rest', I went jogging. The second day, I drove out to a local mall and perused the 'bargain bin' at a video store. In it, I found Patricia Walden's video "Yoga for Beginners". The next morning, I tried this yoga thing, which I hoped would help heal my spine. I hated it, but I kept doing it, each and every morning. I still don't understand why I kept it up, but I'm grateful.

Fast forward 20 years and I can do things I never imagined would be possible in my 40s. And I know this because that beginner's yoga video featured a demonstration of Patricia Walden's practice. Watching it, my 20-something self was completely gobsmacked. Watching it now, I can do (or feel I have the potential of learning) everything she does in that demo.

Last year, I had a complete physical for the first time in many years, with a doctor who had never seen me before. She weighed me, took my blood pressure, asked some questions about my health and activity levels. Then she squinted at my file and said cheerfully "Oh, look at that! The nurse mis-wrote your age. You're *31*, right?" I just grinned at her.

From the lofty perspective of my 40s, my yoga practice feels like a miracle and I'm grateful every day for my health and strength.

Thanks to my practice, I feel curious and ready to experience the aging process. I'm not afraid of the more-than-occasional gray hair on my head or wrinkles around my eyes. Yoga has given me this gift, as have the master teachers I've studied with over the years (leading by example), many of whom are now in their 60s or 70s.

Recently, iVillage published a photo essay of aging yoga teachers and their thoughts about yoga and the again process: Anti-Aging Secrets From Yoga Superstars (found via Flo). Ignore the silly title and dive in - I guarantee you'll be inspired.

Several years back, Yoga Journal also published an article about aging yogis entitled: Better With Age. I was in my early 30s when that article was published, but I was so dumbstruck by what I read that I clipped and saved it. Now I see it with new eyes.

The teachers interviewed were all still practising and teaching, most of them daily. A few of mentioned practising poses that they couldn't have attempted 30 years ago, but that's not the greatest commonality. This is: As they've grown older, practice has become more contemplative and this meditative ease has spilled into their daily lives.

I get it. I'm starting to get it more and more. You see, all of this asana stuff? It actually leads somewhere! It leads to something fabulous and worthwhile. I truly believe that, because I've seen it in the faces of my most respected teachers.

"My practice is much simpler. I don't have anything to achieve anymore. Everything is achieved already."
~Dharma Mittra (at age 64 - he's now in his early 70s, still practising)

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Vitamix Tales: Hummus

2012-01-10T18:07:00.001-08:00

I stepped outside of my Vitamix 'comfort zone' the other day and whipped up some hummus. I was determined to do this on the cheap, so I measured out a cup of dried chick peas and cooked them up, used ingredients I already had in my cupboard.

It was so easy and the number of ingredients so modest, I was a bit skeptical, but the end product was fantastic and tasted like...wait for it...hummus! And it cost a mere fraction of the prepared stuff I usually buy at the supermarket.

I took the recipe from the Vitamix cookbook, then modified and pimped it up.

Here's the blueprint:

2 cups of cooked Chickpeas (or one 16 oz can)
1 cup of water
2 tablespoons tahini
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 garlic glove
1 teaspoon cumin
sea salt to taste

I had to add some additional water to bring it to the desired consistency because I used a bit more tahini. I actually waited to add salt until after the blending process (and mixed it into the hummus in a bowl) so I could get it just right. I halved the original recipe to make a smaller amount of hummus - I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to eat a huge batch. But I would definitely prepare a larger amount if I was taking a bowl of it to a party, for example.

Here is the end result:

And it tastes great! It's every bit as good as the atrociously expensive stuff I buy at the store. I crunched the numbers and discovered that in hummus-preparation alone, the Vitamix pays for itself in less than two years (based on the estimated cost of weekly hummus at supermarket prices, around $6-7 per tub).

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What happened to my bon bons?!

2012-01-09T18:41:00.001-08:00

"And then the Vacation Fairy waved her sparkly wand and vanished into a cloud of pixie dust. As the Reluctant Ashtangi caught a glimpse of herself, she realised that she had been turned back into a pumpkin. A pumpkin who had to go back to work..."

*snortsnuffle* *wakesup*

Oh! I must have been dreaming, a very bad dream! But surely I have hours and hours of The Lazy still ahead of me, afternoons spent eating chocolate bon bons while laying in bed, reading a book...no? NO?

Oh.

Today, my full schedule of classes kick back in. I'm busy, busy, busy and will be all week, and I'll be on my full schedule pretty much until summer when it all starts to slow down again (the traditional season of 'schedule death' for professional yoga teachers).

I'm happy to be busy and I'm not complaining. But! After only a couple weeks on holiday, I've sort of gotten out of the whole 'time management' habit. It's been a rude awakening, hard to get used to. Well, that, and the mysterious disappearance of those bon bons.

The controversy continues to rage over Yoga Wrecking Your Body (I expect t-shirts to come out any day now). Of course, everybody is linking to Eddie's response (we love you, Eddie!). Also, Loo wrote a long and thoughtful post over on Small Blue Pearls: Time to Take a Big Breath. YJ's blog weighs in with a comment from MD and YJ Medical Editor Dr. Timothy McCall: Is Yoga Unsafe?

Is this the end of this discussion? Probably not. And one key theme that keeps leaping out of the reponses I've read so far is this: The safety of a yoga student is directly proportional to the quality of training received by the teacher instructing that student. Hm...

That issue is a bit of a tired one, but I do have a few thoughts and I'll share them soon.

But first, I have a question for YOU. This is not only for the Ashtangis out there, but also the Bikramites, the Anusaris, the Iyengaris and all of you who practice yoga in any form (I was kind of on a roll there - sounded a bit like the cast of a Star Trek episode, didn't it?)

Here's my question(s):What makes a yoga teacher (or *your* yoga teacher) awesome? What are your own set of qualifications for the person who teaches YOU? What do you need from a teacher-student relationship? Does rapport matter? Does knowlege of anatomy, alignment? What about tradition and lineage? Have your needs changed as your practice has developed? What about home practice? Do you even *need* a teacher to order to grow a yoga practice?

No need to 'name names' in your comment - this isn't about individuals, but more about general values. If you don't want to comment publicly, you can email me (reluctantashtangi on Google Mail) and I'll keep your repsonses private.

Okay. Ready, set, go...

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Me and Eddie, we're tight

2012-01-08T15:00:00.001-08:00

In just one week, I've gone from being the blogger who's famous for dropping her keys down an elevator shaft to being the blogger whose name is casually dropped into the same sentence as Eddie's.

You should have seen my face! I was all, Eddie? Which Eddie? Oh, THAT Eddie. *jawdrop*

My nanosecond of fame was instantly eclipsed by Eddie's thought-provoking blog entry. And I'm totally fine with that because holy, can that man ever WRITE!

If you haven't yet read Eddie Stern's reply to the now-infamous New York Times article, I urge you to do so right away. Now only is it well-expressed, but he has *fabulous* taste in music. Off you go: How the NYT Can Wreck Yoga (but come back after you're finished).

There are a number of other bloggers who took on the topic this week.

Of note:

- YogaRose.net: If you only read one response…
- It's all yoga, baby: The NYT takes on yoga (again)
- Yoga in the Dragon's Den:Wrecking Your Body and Brain
- MetafilterMetafilter discussion of the article
- Balancing on Two Feet: How yoga can wreck your body? A response
- Patrick:Something of a detour - this 'wreck your body' bit
- YogaDork:Yoga Injuries and Battered Egos
- Rachel Anne Scott:How Yoga Can Wreck Your Body: A Response

I really appreciate all of the comments and the links, retweets, shares on Facebook (and ect). It felt like a helluva a comeback from my 'hiatus' (and it was really nice to hear from people too!). My stats went through the roof on the 7th. After months of relative abandonment, my poor blog probably didn't know what hit it.

There are a number of you who are new to my blog and arrived on the coat-tails of my NYT rant. Welcome!

I used to write endless practice reports in this space, but since I've sworn off that sort of thing, I now blather on about historical fiction and lost keys. I also post cute photos of my miniature schnauzer, Princess Fur, and muse about cookies.

And I write about yoga, lots and lots of yoga. I hope you'll stick around :-)

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Blog readers! Well met!

2012-01-07T15:49:00.001-08:00

I had a lot of fun over my winter holidays. I did a lot of reading.

I never thought I would be that person who would find herself obsessed with 16th century England. I never watched a single episode of 'The Tudors', medieval plots in novels bore me to tears and I'd rather have my eyeballs gouged out with a finely honed ankle dagger than attend a 'Ren Faire'. I do have a documented fascination with Jane Austen novels and their movie adaptions, but that's a different time period entirely. And I'm over that. Well, mostly...

But in the deepest, darkest December, I found myself with a lot of time on my hands. Quite accidentally, I picked a new paperback off the shelf at my local library, entitled 'The Red Queen.' I'll be honest here: The book was brand spanking new and that's SO rare for a library book. Mostly, I just wanted to enjoy the crisp pages and the 'new book' smell. The plot was secondary. The thing is, the book was GREAT! I loved it!

Mainly, I loved the main character, who was a self-absorbed bitch and I was fascinated by the machinations of the English monarchy and the court. Also, I loved the mostly modern use of language in the books. Aside from the occasional 'Well met!', Gregory's characters spoke like real people, as if royal court of King Henry VIII had been linguistically transplanted to the 21st century.

It was a slippery slope from there. After I finished 'The Red Queen' (a novel about Margaret Beaufort, mother of King Henry VIII), of *course* I had to read the companion novel, 'The White Queen' (a novel about Elizabeth Woodville, one-time Queen of England) which led to 'The Other Boleyn Girl' (more Henry VIII) and that was absolutely gripping (I think it's still my favourite). I followed that up with 'The Constant Princess' (Katherine of Aragon, first wife of the moronic Henry VIII).

Suddenly, I was up to my neck in Tudors and loving every minute of it. I even popped over to Wikipedia and looked up some names. In doing so, I realised that I'd become something of a light-weight authority on the monarchy of King Henry VIII. The names jumped out at me, relationships between people became clear and I was all "Hey, these are my peeps! My Tudor peeps!".

It amazed me that Philippa Gregory was not making this stuff up! Well, okay, she *does* stretch the facts a fair bit, augmenting, elaborating. But she's really onto something quite brilliant! She doesn't have to come up with any plots - they're already written and she remains remarkably faithful to the historical record. I do realise that this is the premise behind all historical fiction, but I think Gregory does it particularly well. I yawned through this entire period of history in university but in reading these books, I found myself riveted.

Luckily for me, Gregory is very prolific. I probably have another month of good fun waiting for me in her other novels (I just started a new one about Queen Elizabeth I's affair with Robert Dudley). I'm not sure if this is as much an endorsement as a warning: these books will swallow you into a medieval black hole and you'll emerge thousands of pages later, thinking about how you can retain the Spanish as allies while still holding off the Scots on your northern border. And is there any marchpane in the pantry, because you could really use a snack.

What say you, blog readers? Have any of you read these books? If so, well met! Let's joust! ;-)

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Reading Blogs Can Wreck Your Body

2012-01-06T17:47:00.001-08:00

CAUTION!

Oh, this is rich.

The New York Times, striving as they always do to offer in-depth and quality coverage of all facets of Yoga culture and practice, has published yet another gem. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, folks, but it's hot off off the presses, breaking news: Did you know How Yoga Can Wreck Your Body?

As an Astanga Vinyasa Yoga practitioner, I think my favourite thing about this article is that the word 'Astanga' never appears anywhere in it. Nope! It's not us this time. It's the Iyengar people! Wow, they must be spitting bullets over there in Pune. Hey ya'll, check it out! Iyengar Yoga wrecks your body! And this, according to an experienced Iyengar teacher. *snark*

Okay, sorry. But we Ashtangis get picked on enough in the media over the whole injury thing, it's almost a relief when the crosshairs zero in on another lineage. But seriously, Iyengar? What gives?!

"Popped ribs, brain injuries, blinding pain..." Sounds kinda serious, doesn't it? At least, it does until you hear the case studies. True life escapades of stupid people doing stupid things with Yoga. And getting hurt! Amazing!

Check it:

-a male college student with a whole year of yoga under his belt decides to 'intensify his practice by sitting upright on his heels (Vajrasana) for hours a day, chanting for world peace. Dude was having trouble walking...ya think? *eyeroll*
-a young man with 18 months of yoga experience practised Sarvangasana (shoulderstand) with 'his neck maximally flexed against the bare floor' holding the inversion for five minutes at a time, causing a series of bruises down his neck. Diagnosis: Neck Trauma...well, duh! Use a pile of blankets under your shoulders, buddy! *sigh*

To the defence of the article, not all of the cases were as wacky as these. And to the defence of BKS Iyengar (in the second case study mentioned, the article places full blame on this yoga master for 'suggesting that this is how the pose should be done'), I'm certain that BKS Iyengar would have never allowed a student to practice shoulderstand in this manner. No yoga teacher worth her salt would.

The Iyengar teacher cited in the article, Glenn Black, points a finger at 'ego' as the root cause of most of these injuries. Okay, I can't argue with him there. Raise your hand if you've pushed your practice a little bit too far and hurt yourself... (I'm raising my hand) But let's also acknowledge that injuries can come seemingly out of nowhere. Genetic predispoition leads to weaknesses in the body or we develop patterns of unbalance over years of sports, work or just plain living. A momentary lapse of mindfulness can cause an accident. We've all been there.

Our bodies are fragile. They break. And they break, in part, because we use them. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. It reminds me of a friend who cleared out her recently deceased grandmother's home and found hundreds of beautiful candles, all unused. Her grandmother had felt that they were too beautiful to light. My friend vowed to burn every one of them on her altar and glory in their beauty, savour every moment of every candle.

If our bodies begin to wear from joyful, mindful use, is this a bad thing? We can and should endeavour to create a sustainable yoga practice, but in the end, I would rather use my body and enjoy the experience of being 'embodied' rather than carefully sit on a shelf and never take any risks.

Annoyingly, Black takes a subtle cheap-shot at Astanga teacher Beryl Bender Birch, smugly reporting that 'one of the biggest yoga teachers in America' had limited mobility in her hip joints, requiring hip replacement surgery. What he doesn't mentioned is that thousands of other Americans have needed joint replacment surgeries from nothing more than sitting in their easy chairs watching television. I'm certain that Beryl has no regrets about her years as a runner and yoga practitioner. I know of other senior teachers who have perfectly healthy hips. My first teacher, Patricia Walden (an Iyengar teacher!) is in a stunning state of fitness and health for a woman in her 60s. She is one of my heros and role models.

Ultimately, that's the point I'm trying to make. Our spirits live in bodies. Bodies are impermanent. They age, they wear, they deteriorate, especially if we use them. We should use them carefully, but we shouldn't live in fear.

I was having some fun on Facebook today, citing other articles about 'stuff that wrecks your body.' For example, back in April we learned that 'Sitting Wrecks Your Body'. Apparently, 'Standing Wrecks Your Body' too. And don't forget walking: Yup! 'Walking Wrecks Your Body' (runners, I'm going to leave you out of this - you get pilloried enough in the media as it is).

Other things that Wreck Your Body:
- Hard Partying Wrecks Your Body (wassup, Charlie Sheen?!)
-Food Wrecks Your Body
-Tofu Wrecks Your Body (actually, this one just wrecks your brain, but what good is a body without a brain?)
-Forward Head Posture Wrecks Your Body (with a nod oto the Alexander Method)
-Alcohol Wrecks Your Body

Or, as so eloquently expressed by The Smiths, "...past the pub that wrecks your body." I'll leave you on that glorious note. And, um, don't dance or anything. That might wreck your body too.

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The Cult of Smoothie

2012-01-05T15:10:00.001-08:00

I had a pretty good holiday and my Christmas loot was all kinds of awesome. OMG, the gift cards! A Lulu shopping spree will be coming up sometime in the next few weeks. Also, I'm literally drowning in David's Tea cards, bolstering my New Year's resolution to switch to loose teas.

For years, I've not-so-secretly pined for a Vitamix Blender. Santa must have tired of my sniffling because I finally got one this year. Carrying that box home was one of my Great Life Moments. Please know that I'm not exagerating. If you don't have any idea what I'm talking about, you clearly don't hang out with enough vegans and raw-foodists.

The Vitamix is the *Cadillac* of Blenders. Serene Flavor calls it the 'best small car motor money can buy' and wow, no kidding! It revs up like a Mercedes. I was all 'ooooo!' and 'ahhhh!' the first time I used it to mix something.

Of course, that 'something' was a green smoothie. I'm almost embarrassed to admit this, but since the life-changing moment when I brought my Vitamix home, that's all I've used it for. Every day. And it performs admirably. This machine can take a handful of kale and puree it into the creamiest cup of bliss (just add fruit). I've never loved kale so much.

And it's easy. How easy? Try this: Throw in a handful or two of kale, one chopped apple, a banana, a cup or two of water. Pimp it up: protein powder, maca powder, flax oil or flax meal. I throw a brazil nut into mine for the selenium. Then: Start your engine! Done!

It's enough smoothie to last me all day, two servings. LOVE *hugs blender*

But it can also make soup, almond milk, raw vegan chocolate pie (I'm bookmarking this one for the next shala potluck!). It came with a cookbook which is apparently so epic that people try to buy it without the blender (I'm assuming these people are the unlucky ones who purchased their Vitamix blenders before the cookbook was included). Donutzenmom sent me her recipe for vegan alfredo sauce. Clearly, I need to get a tad more ambitious.

Over on her blog, Loo is having a Vitamix love-in. We've been threatening to swap recipes. I feel like I've gained entrance to some kind of secret society or vegan cult. I like it! :-)

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Bad Elevator Juju

2012-01-04T16:22:00.001-08:00

My morning was going so well. I had a great practice. I got a ride home from the shala. I stepped onto the elevator feeling all shiny and new and ready to embrace the day ahead. I pushed the button for my floor and the doors closed with an empathetic 'THUNK'.

And that's when it happened: the elevator groaned and shuddered. The control panel died and as I stood there numbly, punching the 'door open' button, I had a very bad feeling. I had a very bad feeling that I might be stuck in an elevator.

In fact, I WAS stuck on the elevator. I almost couldn't believe it. I seem to be moving through every possible nightmare elevator scenario in rapid succession this week.

I scanned the control panel, considered my options. I tried all the 'door open' buttons. I pressed my floor again. Tried the basement button. Tried the first floor button. The little button that resembles a bell looked very promising but on second thought, I realised it was probably the 'fire' button. Fire wasn't a problem. At least not yet (give me time!).

I finally decided on the button that looks like an old-fashioned telephone. I just wanted to talk to a human. And someone answered! I have no idea who it was. I didn't actually care. I described my problem and then surrendered to the moment. I was stuck in an elevator and there was nothing I could do about it. So I sat down, took out my iPad and told Facebook all about it. Yay, technology! ;-)

One level of Angry Birds and a few minutes later, help arrived. I heard a pounding on the elevator door, there was a pop, a shudder and I was instructed to push the 'door open' button again. It opened! Saved by the custodian, who is now my new BFF.

I'm not sure what the moral of this story is. Loo is certain that this is Disaster #3 and now that it's over, I can resume being awesome. To be perfectly honest, I'm just grateful that this particular mishap was a random-act-of-elevatorness and had nothing to do with my own clumsiness.

More than one friend has suggested that Bad Elevator Juju seems to be manifesting in my life. Not sure what to do about that. I guess I could take the stairs, but I live on the 15th floor - that's a lot of stairs!

For now, I'm focusing on prevention. After I taught my noon class, I stopped by the hardware store and made copies of my shala keys (they were the only keys that I didn't have spares for during this most recent disaster). Christmas is over, so I can probably easily avoid wreaths. And from now on, whenever I get on the elevator I'll carry my iPad or a book.

If there's a Hindu god of Elevator Juju, could someone let me know? I need all the help I can get!

(Princess Fur, rockin' the sunbeam!)- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Doggie, it's cold outside!

2012-01-03T17:28:00.001-08:00

I think I may have finallly outrun the streak of fabulously bad juju that's been nipping at my heels since the beginning of the New Year. I managed to get through an entire day without dropping anything, breaking anything or offending anyone (that I know of).

Not only that, but when I returned home from lunch, my lost keys were waiting for me. I never would have considered a broken elevator 'lucky', but it was for me today. Broken elevators require elevator technicians and they are the rescuers of orphan keys. I think there's Karma in that somewhere.

The temperature, which has been unusually mild these past few weeks, took a dive today. By noon, the windchill was -27C. My practice was cold and stiff this morning (I was halfway through before I truly warmed up). I even broke out my decidedly non-vegan sheepskin hat and mitts (kept from my university days in the Colorado mountains).

Princess Fur, who keeps a full coat of fur this time of year (I clip her short in the summer months), also wore her turtleneck sweater, her red fleece coat and her hot pink 'mutt-luks' (doggie boots). Incredibly, in the face of so much humiliation, she somehow manages to retain her dignity. Behold:

But she refused to look me in the eye for about a half-hour after that walk. Can you blame her? ;-)

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Not a friend to wreaths

2012-01-02T14:49:00.001-08:00

Today, I continued my path of Wanton Destruction through the Year 2012 by damaging a holiday wreath stored in a closet at the gym I teach at. I crushed it with my Mighty Yoga Mat, weapon of choice for distracted yoga teachers who are in-a-hurry-to-get-to-class.

The wreath belonged to my boss, so I'm pretty sure this is a 'fail.' Somebody get me a glue gun!

I'm blaming it, of course, on the Gremlin. Sore shoulder, weak grip, I dropped the mat, blah, blah, blah. I can't wait to see what disaster awaits me tomorrow. So far, this has been the Year of Accidents Waiting to Happen. I'm SO on a roll.

It feels good to be back into my shala routine this week. My teacher was away during the holidays. A few of us practised together in her absence and though it was good fun, she was greatly missed. I was very happy to see her this morning.

Of course, I was *totally* up to no good during those carefree days of non-supervision. I still am to a certain degree, though with fewer flourishes. I think 2012 is going to be a good year for yoga! :-)

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The Gremlin ate my keys

2012-01-01T17:16:00.001-08:00

Hello, 2012! It's a bright, shiny New Year, and I'm back!

Relaunching this blog is a resolution of sorts. I'm planning to write a little bit every day. When I told my friend Cabbage about this resolve of mine, she asked me what I planned to write about. To be honest, I'm not really sure.

Here's the thing, I'm not very keen to write long and detailed practice reports anymore. I'm kind of over that. In fact, I'm not sure I want to write about my yoga practice at all. I know what you're thinking...I'm thinking the same thing. This whole blog was premised on my yoga practice...so what else is there to write about, aside from Princess Fur stories and tales of the Public Transit system? (my Facebook peeps are rolling their eyes).

I told Cabbage, "I'll just see how it goes."

But here's something: About 30 minutes ago, I dropped my keys down the elevator shaft. Happy New Year, *PLUNK*

I'm blaming this one on my Astanga Gremlin.

Remember the Gremlin? Well, it's been hanging out in my right lumbar lately wreaking all kinds of havoc (particularly in backbends). Until this afternoon, that is, when it decided abruptly to decamp to my right acromioclavicular joint. I'm not going to pin this one on yoga, at least not directly. In truth, I've spent the past week hauling my Manduka and a knapsack full of sodden yoga clothing around the city. I think I threw something out of whack.

I've been icing it all day. To save wear and tear, I decided to load my laundry into a cart rather than haul it over my shoulder as I usually do. I put my keys in the cart and as I was rolling it on to the elevator, the whole thing tipped over.

*PLUNK*

I'm a BIG believer in spare keys. I grew up on a sailboat and learned early on that no matter how careful you are, no matter how many 'floating key rings' you buy, lanyards to wear around your neck, precautions taken, prayers uttered, keys will always go overboard when you least expect it - and when the water is 20 feet deep, you can't get them back. Accordingly, I'm the founder of my building's 'key club'. No less than three of my neighbours have my spares at the ready. And I keep another spare in my apartment.

So it's not really *that* big of a disaster. I'll get the keys back in a week or two when the elevator technician stops by for scheduled maintenance.

But my shala keys are now at the bottom of the elevator shaft. So if you're my shalamate, please know that we'll be opening a bit later than usual tomorrow, at 6am when my teacher arrives.

And just to be clear, I'm blaming this whole fiasco on my Gremlin. ;-)

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Yoga for the 100%

2011-10-25T17:33:00.001-07:00

Maria recently posted a summary of her yearly yoga expenses, which captured my attention (way to flush me out of hiding, Maria - nicely done!).

Her post was in response to a post of Claudia's which responded to a Bloomberg article claiming that a 37-year-old woman living in New York City can expect to spend over $10,000 per year on yoga expenses if she 'goes all out.'

I believe there was also an implication that you need to 'be in the 1%' in order to practice yoga with any seriousness.

$10,000?! Seriously? *eyeroll*

So I decided to do my own yearly breakdown of yoga expenses over the course of a year. The results are itemized below.

You'll see that Shala fees are my biggest expense at the moment. During those years that I home-practised exclusively, my costs were much, much lower. I probably spent no more than $500 per year on yoga in my practice then - and this even factors in clothing, videos, a retreat and an occasional class.

In 2003, I attended YTT, $3000. In addition, I've done at least 700 hours of advanced YTT over the years, $3,500. That stuff does add up, but the average practitioner doesn't need to do YTT in order to learn yoga, so I won't count it.

Let's just focus on this year and for the sake of simplicity, let's pretend that the shala opened in January and I've been attending regularly there all year.

All prices are in Canadian dollars. Context: I live in a large Canadian city, with the highest cost of living in the country. Most costs are comparable or more expensive than NYC (with the exception of rent - geez, no wonder you people live in eensy weensy closets, sheesh!!!).

Here's Kai's Yoga Budget 2011

Yoga Instruction: Mysore style instruction.
$1,800 = 1 year of shala fees

Clothing: I keep it simple. I own two full sets of yoga practice clothes (I don't factor in the clothes I teach in). I hand-wash them each day after practice, hang them to dry. I buy good quality because these clothes get hard use.
$160 = Lu crops x2
$80 = Lu yoga bra x2
$18 = Simple black tank top x2

Mat and Rug: I've been using the same Manduka mat daily for the past four years. It's in perfect condition, but let's assume that I need a new one every four years and prorate that. I buy a new Mysore rug once a year.

$25 = Manduka over four years
$20 = Mysore rug

Grand total yoga costs for one year: $2103

The shala I practice at is open six days a week, year-round, including Moon Days and I keep a very consistent 6-day practice (read: I haven't missed a day since the shala opened). So, for a six day week, my daily cost would be $6.74 per day.

But...the plot thickens. My teacher also offers a led class on Saturdays, which I attend regularly. Factoring in that class, my daily cost goes down to $5.76.

That's around the price of a specialty coffee drink at the local Starbucks (according to this article, the cost of a Grande Carmel Macchiato recently went up to $5.03, before tax).

So it comes down to this: What would I rather do? Drink a sugar-and-caffeine loaded drink with an excess of 270 calories (more if there's a dollop of whipped cream)? Or do my practice?

Which would you pick? (no judgement here if you choose the Macchiato - I hear they're very yummy...)

To be clear, I simply don't see this as a matter of rich vs. poor or 1% vs. 99%. I'm not wealthy by any stretch (anyone who tells you that an average person can get rich as a full-time yoga teacher is trying to sell you something - and that something is very likely a Yoga Teacher Training...lol).

I'll concede, coming up with monthly shala fees is not always easy. But if I needed to, I could home practice. There are wonderful resources available - books and DVDs available from the library, free online yoga classes, free and PWYC classes, 'energy exchange' arrangements with studios...the list goes on.

For me, on my very tight budget, it's a question of priorities. 10 years from now, will I remember that frothy Stabucks Drink? Will the burrito I bought at the little cafe on the corner really matter to me?

Will my practice matter? Yes, I believe it will. And I'm willing to put my money on that.

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Finis

2011-07-17T06:10:00.001-07:00

Today is my last post, at least for a while.

I don't want to be one of those bloggers who leaves in a huff and is back five minutes later (and is gone again with the next half hour). That's not what this is about, anyway.

There's no drama around this decision, just an acknowledgment that my relationship with this blog has changed, my practice has changed and I'm not longer at ease with chronicling it here. I feel like I have my hands full with my practice without worrying about translating the experience into words.

I'm keeping the archives up, in hopes that they'll be helpful to other 'reluctant ashtangis' on the path. I also want to leave it open, as there's a chance I might pop in from time to time with a quick update, so keep me in your RSS reader if you want to follow along.

This blog was born out of rough practice notes as I stumbled along teaching myself a style of yoga I knew next to nothing about. I was amazed and delighted when an entire community of practitioners opened up to me. You've all inspired me, offered encouragement and advice, and I doubt I would still be doing this without you. I've made true friends, had my 15 seconds of fame in Yoga Journal, won a handful of awards, and connected with people around the world.

It's been absolutely awesome. And it's been a privilege to be a part of this community. I want to thank you for reading, commenting and helping me feel so at home in Astanga. My practice will, of course, continue.

Namaste,
Kai

P.S. If you'd like to stay in touch, I'm still on Gmail. My handle is 'reluctantashtangi'.

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There's a fly in my lemonade

2011-07-15T16:14:00.001-07:00

As finished taking rest this morning, I gazed out at the blue sky and two words came to mind: Beach! Weather! I decided right then that I would ride the ferry to the island and zoom around on my bike, eat a picnic lunch, then go to the beach. I stopped at the downstairs cafe on my way out of the shala to buy a vegan muffin, then turned the corner to fetch my bike.

Something wasn't right. Some idiot had nicked the seatpost and seat! *argh* Seriously! The great irony is, these parts have NO resale value. The bike post only fits one obscure brand and model of bike - mine. My seat was the same ugly generic one that came from the factory and it was battered and torn from five years of hard use. This stuff has value only to me, but it appears that some addled drug addict in the neighbourhood didn't get the memo.

Once the thief realised his error, he probably chucked my stuff in a dumpster. *sigh* Meanwhile, I had to take public transit down to the bike shop and cough up a hundred bucks to replace it all. If I'm going to be all 'making-lemonade-with-my-lemon' about it, here's the positive spin: The new post is nicer and it wasn't that expensive. I upgraded to a *superbly* comfortable gel seat and bought a special cable to lock the whole thing to my bike. And I picked up a nifty orange 'JelliBell' for my handlebars. They gave me a 'compassion discount'. I count myself lucky that they had the part in stock and my transportation is secure. I rely on my bike to get around.

From now on, I'm carrying my bike up the stairs to the shala, though. Sheesh!

The beach was awesome! It was a *perfect* day. I couldn't spot a single cloud in the sky! The ferry took me to the far end of the island and that's where I ate my picnic lunch. It's quiet and green there. I laid under a tree reading and eating for over an hour. Then I rode my bike across the islands to the beach and spent an hour by the water. The water was perfect for swimming though a bit chilly (not that this stopped me!). I soaked up lots of sun, gazed out at the blue water and watched the boats. I took the 4:30 ferry back, came home and took a nap and now I'm killing time before my hot class at 8.

Practice was good this morning! With the combination of the moon day, Guru Purnima and Guruji's birthday, I didn't have the balls to break out an illicit Intermediate so I did Primary again, with some under-the-radar Pincha against the wall at the end of my practice, a million UD and a full closing sequence. I've worked hard at my Primary this week and I'm feeling it!

I seem to be back to where I started in my vinyasa-quest. I'm using the blocks for the whole thing, but breaking the vinyasa down into different phases and holding the floats (or trying to). During one of my first jumpthroughs, DT caught my hips on the way up and said "Hold it here!" (of course, I stayed because she was holding my hips!). One thing I've noticed since going back to the skinny blocks is my jumpthroughs are more solid now.

With all of this extra work in the vinyasas, my practice took over 2.5 hours. I didn't want to waste a single transition because it's back to Intermediate on Sunday. I know I'll be focusing on other things.

A report on my Supta Kurmasana project: Last night at vinaysa class, I arrived early and goofed around with LBH, curious to see where I could go with those poses with very little warm-up. I can do them, but it took me three tries to get a deep enough to find the fingerbind in Supta K. This was instructive! It demonstrates that a deeper LBH may be the thing that helps me get my wrist in that pose. So there may be hope after all!

The evenings have been spectacularly beautiful with rosy sunsets and the full moon. Happy Guru Purnima and Moon Day :-)

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I'm not floating, I'm floundering

2011-07-14T18:12:00.001-07:00

Today was an ordinary day in which many nice things happened to me.

I had a good practice, Primary Series, strong, solid and fun. My mother phoned. I rediscovered a resistance band that I won last year and promptly forgot about (am now happily looking up resistance band YouTubes for building upper body strength). A personal trainer friend showed me a neat exercise using a balance ball to mimick floating forward and I'm loving it.

As the day went on, the good kept coming...

I got a great haircut. I spent an hour in a downtown cafe eating a tea biscuit and surfing the web to my heart's content. A good chunk of unexpected money appeared in my account. Fresh cherries were on sale at the grocery store. I treated myself to Larry Schultz's "Rocket II" DVD (I hope it's good! Have any of you tried it?).

And, most profoundly nice, a senior yoga teacher who has been one of my teachers for nearly 10 years asked me to sub one of her Intermediate classes while she's away later this summer. I was so flattered and honoured, I almost lost my words for moment. It's deeply meaningful to me that she asked - and that she trusts me to cover her class (she also a fabulous teacher - those are very big shoes to fill!).

I'm still on my LH, so my practice is still modified. Today, I focused a lot of the vinyasas. I've amended my 'floaty vinyasa gameplan' again: I re-added the skinny blocks to my jumpthroughs. I can get by without them, but... I figured out that if I'm not fussing with those blocks, I can make a continuous flow out of the whole thing: jumpback, vinyasa, jumpthrough. It's rough-hewn, but it all starts to come together. I lack grace and I fall on my face a lot. I'm not floating, I'm floundering, but it's a start!

At the end of my practice, I added a prep pose for Pincha Mayurasana - Pincha arms with legs in downward dog. I was looking for a way to work on strength since I'm not doing the full inversion right now. DT stopped by and made a few very specific adjustments, explained what she was doing and I clarified by asking questions.

End result: Pincha ephiphany! I'm curious to see if this helps at all when I'm back to the full pose again.

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Keep away!

2011-07-13T14:27:00.001-07:00

Today's practice was Primary Series, sans inversions. I had a good practice - in fact, it was really great given that I'm on my LH. I'm genuinely looking forward to working on my Primary this week. It's a nice break from Intermediate and all of my anxiety and *whomping* in Pincha Mayurasana. On Sunday, I can come back to that project with a clearer head.

To jazz things up a bit this week, I've set a small goal for myself: I'd like to grab my wrist in Supta Kurmasana. Now that I can enter the pose through Dwi Pada, this seems like the 'final frontier.' In order to do it, my Dwi Pada needs to deepen and I'll need to figure out how to get my right shoulder under my giant right calf muscle. *oof*

One of the things I really appreciate about DT is the way she switches things up and encourages us to work with familiar postures in new ways. She has told me several times: 'Don't do a pose exactly the same way every time.' From her perspective, every pose in Primary has the potential to be a powerful preparation for a pose or transition in another series.

Today's theme was engagment of my legs and my outer hip. She was pointing it out all over the place - in the Prasaritas (which suprised me, and wow, the Prasaritas have *never* been so challenging), Chaturanga, Upward Dog and yes, in backbending.

She put a block between my thighs in Urdhva Dhanurasana and said "Don't let me take it!" Hey, 'keep away'?! I'm just stubborn enough to rise to a challenge like that! I squeezed that block like hell. After a few seconds, DT casually took it away from me. Sheesh!

If anyone was watching, I'm sure my facial expressions must have been entertaining. That was *hard*.

On my second go, I kept the block for longer, but I'm not sure this was through any strength of my own. It reminded me of playing chess with my dad when I was a child. He would let me think I was doing really well then, all of a sudden, checkmate! ;-)

I've never had so much fun in Urdhva Dhanurasana! And I can't believe I used the words 'fun' and 'Urdhva Dhanurasana' in the same sentence!

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Whomp Moratorium

2011-07-12T14:25:00.001-07:00

DT has put a moratorium on my Pincha *Whomps*. I knew it was coming after my disasterous attemps to come into that pose on my own yesterday (I didn't stick the balance even once). I'm at the point now where I need to either go up and stay up, or not go up at all (unless I'm doing a long hold against the wall). DT doesn't want falling to become a pattern and she's got a point: If falling out of Pincha was the full expression of the pose, I'd have that one in the bag!

Today, instead of trying to go up, I set up in the middle of my mat, walked my feet in and stayed on my tippy toes. I may add lifting one leg. I'm actually moderately competent at balancing with one leg up, the other leg in a pike, so I may try that too.

Alas, all of this planning is a moot point as of today because my dreaded LH is here. No inversions for a few days! :-( I'll be practising a low-key Primary or less for the rest of the week, though I might squeeze in some Intermediate on Friday.

On the bright side, this gives me a chance to work on my jumpbacks and jumpthroughs. Today, DT offered some additional instruction for the jumpback. The second or third time I tried it, I was able to find the 'lift' to jump back (it was probably just a milimetre of lift, but it felt huge to me!).

I'll have plenty of opportunities to explore this in the coming week, if I'm feeling up to it.

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I need more arms!

2011-07-11T16:57:00.001-07:00

If Sundays are my 'superhero practices', Mondays are my 'reality check practices'. Today wasn't bad, it just wasn't great.

I struggled with nearly everything that felt easy on Sunday. Laghu Vajrasana felt impossible, so of course I couldn't repeat yesterday's success in Kapotasana either, and Pincha was just plain hard. Hard and scary and *whomp* and get up and try again and *whomp*.

While I was at the wall, DT came over and helped me stay in the balance, nudging my legs in one direction and then the other as I swayed like a wet noodle in space. I was determined to stay up for as long as she was willing to stand there, but eventually I started to faceplant and had to bail. I asked her about gazepoint and she said definitely the floor - not the hands. I'm relieved. It's so much easier!

The only thing that didn't feel particularly difficult today was the leg-behind-head poses. Surprise! Last week, LBH was pure misery, which I dreaded every day. My complaints this week are mostly logistical. In Dwi Pada, I can get my left leg behind my head fairly easily, but when I go for the right leg, my right calf suddenly seems HUGE and there's no easy way to wiggle it over my shoulder.

I know, I know! These crazy first world problems! ;-)

If I had the balance, I could extend my right arm and push my lower leg over my shoulder with my left hand. Of course, I'm still struggling to balance in Dwi Pada and even if I could, I'm pretty sure that manoeuvre would completely throw me off.

I think it might be helpful to have more than one set of arms. Is this why some Indian deities have eight arms? They could sure come in handy...

I'll bet Goddess Durga has *no* problem with Dwi Pada Sirsasana, ya think?!
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Jumpthroughs!

2011-07-10T17:44:00.001-07:00

Sunday practice is always a break in routine because our shala hours run from ten to noon, much later than I'm used to. But lately, I've been having these awesome, epic practices on Sunday. They set the tone for my week.

I had a breakthrough today in my vinyasas. I'm now putting the skinny blocks aside for jumpthroughs. Last week, I realised that most of the time, I can jump through with my feet clearing the floor, even with hands are on the floor. Jumpbacks are another story (the blocks are staying for that part).

Last week, with DT's encouragement, I started working on the second part of the jumpthrough. I can now Lolasana and bring my feet through my arms. Then I touch my toes down. DT wants me to bend my elbows and shift my weight forward and lift up, into a sort of Lolasana-in-Chaturanga.

It's hard, seemed impossible when I first tried it, but during my Primary on Friday, I started to find it. I'll be working on that this week. DT has also cracked down on my Padmasana jumpbacks. No more lazy! I need to work harder on those.

Other progress to report: I discovered last Thursday that I could come back up from Kapotasana, using blocks. Today, I tried to go back into Kapo using the blocks and was then able to come back up again. This is huge because it means I'm starting to access my upper back to come up. I need this action to stand up from Urdhva Dhanurasana.

I didn't have help in Pincha today. I did it three times against the wall, then I moved to the middle of my mat. I'm developing some real finesse in my 'drop-and-roll' technique - I barely make a sound when I fall over now (not sure this is a skill I want to have!).

But! I came up and held the pose for two breath cycles. That's something. I can build on that.

Eka Pada Sirsasana? :-)

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Clear waters

2011-07-09T18:22:00.001-07:00

A hard drive crash is the digital equivalent of a house-fire - you lose absolutely everything and realise that most of what was lost wasn't essential. Good backups are like insurance - you're able to replace the stuff that really matters.

After a weekend spent restoring, clearing out and catching up, my virtual house is in order. I even cleared the extraneous flotsam and jetsam off of my iPad. It feels like a clean slate!

Saturday is my day off Mysore-style practice, but I do a lot of yoga. In the morning, I practised for a half-hour, just to get my body moving and prepped for a morning of teaching classes. I attended an afternoon vinyasa class (the one that always kicks my ass) with my teacher.

Then I went to a shalamate's garden party and enjoyed an afternoon of good conversation and easy laughter with a group of brilliant spirits. There was guacamole! And flourless chocolate cake! Doesn't get much better than that, does it?

My desktop is now pristine!

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Life injuries

2011-07-08T16:12:00.001-07:00

I seem to be doing a pretty good job avoiding yoga injuries these days. And when something pops up, DT is usually able to sleuth it out and help me modify my practice to avoid aggravating it.

A couple weeks ago, that weird cramping pain around my right shoulder blade returned. It's been haunting me on and off for at least four years. After I mentioned it, DT probed the area during my Paschimottanasana squish until she found the cramp and applied some pressure, which helped a lot.

I was amazed that this shady chimera of mine was something real and tangible that could be poked and identified. "You can really feel it?" I asked in astonishment. "Of course!!" DT replied. This is one of the fringe benefits of having a teacher who is also a massage therapist!

DT made some suggestions for my Chaturanga and I've also worked on improving my posture on my bicycle. Whatever it was, it's gone now.

I seem to be having more trouble with 'life injuries' than 'yoga injuries'. It took over two weeks for the wound on my left elbow to heal and the bruising has only just started to feel less tender.

This morning, I opened the front door into my foot and smooshed my second toe. I managed to limp through Primary Series this morning by avoiding rolling over my toes, but when I got home, I could barely walk.

I'll need to wear open-toe shoes for the next few days.

Dr. Kitty is helping me feel better!

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A shift

2011-07-07T17:31:00.001-07:00

I haven't been doing a very good job of writing short, concise posts, have I? Here's one.

Beyond the daily intensity of Pincha Mayurasana, I have a lot going on. My hard drive crashed this week, but my glass is half full: I'm seizing this opportunity to start fresh and clean. I replaced the drive, restored my data from backups and all is well (almost done!). It's been time consuming, but kind of fun.

Cat sitting season is in full swing! I'm visiting with two lovely kitties twice a day and I absolutely *heart* them. The gray one loves belly rubs, the brown one likes to play. I'm having a ball tending them.

Those LBH poses are rocking my body boat. The left hip has always been my 'tight' side. There's been a shift - the right side is tighter. Over the past few days, I've been receiving intensely deep adjustments in Eka Pada, especially on the right side. Agony, but the good kind.

Tomorrow: Primary Series and hopefully, a long, satisfying nap.

Love!!!

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Gravity is friendly!

2011-07-06T17:55:00.001-07:00

I'm so glad I decided to write about my nervousness with inversions. Judging from the comments and emails I've received, many of you are facing or have faced a similar struggle.

For those of you who are still learning the pose, take heart. It felt impossible to me for a long time, but now I feel solid and comfortable in the pose - anywhere. I demo it in my classes and carry on a non-stop monologue while I'm upside down. I have conversations with my friends in headstand, I listen to CBC radio in headstand. If I could figure out a way to read a book in headstand, I'd probably do it.

I love the pose - but it took me a while to get there.

My first headstand came at a yoga retreat in 2000. I had been doing home yoga practice for years, with an occasional beginners Iyengar class but I never seemed to explore the inversions, or I managed to avoid them.

At the retreat, I looked around slack-jaw at all of these people standing on their heads, legs floating serenly. Someone at the retreat offered to teach me (brave woman!). It required two people and a very solid wall to get me into the pose and I lasted mere seconds. I hated it.

I didn't revisit the pose again until 2003 when I started yoga teacher training. Learning Sirsasana became an urgent project; I didn't want to be the only one in YTT who couldn't do a headstand! I taught myself using the wall and near the wall I stayed. I only started moving away from the wall after I began Ashtanga practice in 2007.

Within a year, I was able to come into the pose kicking up one leg at a time (or lifting my very bent knees). But I could do it in the middle of the room! The key to this breakthrough was learning to fall. I did this at the park and forced myself to fall out of the pose every conceivable way.

It took another year to learn the straight-leg entry. Only in the last two years has the pose started to feel completely comfortable to me. These days, I'm pretty happy holding Sirsasana for up to 10 minutes if I'm not already tuckered out from a long practice.

As I was reading through my blog archives trying to piece together this chronology, I stumbled across a post praising David Swenson's tips for Sirsasana A & B in his book. His comments on Sirsasana B were the Rosetta Stone that helped me come up with straight legs. Coming up with straight legs was the key that helped me feel truly confident doing the pose away from the wall. When kicking up, I had no control, but lifting up allowed me to find my centre and keep it.

Here's the snippet that triggered my lightbulb moment:
"In order to lift the feet from the floor, it will be necessary to transfer your weight behind you. This will actually create a momentary unbalancing. This unbalancing is what will draw the feet upward. The trick is to bring the hips back to the centre line as the feet rise."

See? Gravity is your friend! When you shift your hips slightly past your shoulders, the legs become light and coming up is easy (but then you need to shift the hips back). I discovered that if I moved slllloooowly and with care, I could regain my centre after the lift.

Today, as I was scanning Swenson's comments for Sirsasana A, I found a description of my precise problem in Pincha Mayurasana. For those of you who are curious about my alignment quirks in that pose, this sums it up nicely: "There is a tendency to push the ribs forward and collapse in the lower back..."

Swenson suggests recreating the pose while standing, keeping the ribs drawn in, the sit-bones dropped and the legs working. I might try this tomorrow.

(Angry Samurai doesn't like inversions either! Photo taken at our local history natural history museum)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Whomp

2011-07-05T18:27:00.001-07:00

I have a confession. No, make that *two* confessions. I got a new pose last week, Pincha Mayurasana. And it's scaring me to pieces.

I don't have a amiable history with inversions. It took me 10 years to learn headstand, 10 years!!! During the first five years of my yoga practice, I simply refused to do it! And handstand still scares the daylights out of me, even at the wall (away from the wall, it *really* freaks me out; I had a mini-meltdown in the Darby's workshop last October when Joanne insisted that I do it).

When I started Intermediate Series last summer, Pincha loomed menacingly on my horizon but still seemed far away. When I split Primary last month, it went from being a 'someday thing' to a 'any time now thing'. The thought of doing the pose in the middle of the room was terrifying.

So I started working on it at home, at the wall, trying to immune myself to The Fear. A few weeks ago, I started doing it at the shala - adding it with the handstands I scare myself with every day before Bakasana. I'm glad I brought it to DT's attention because I really needed help with alignment.

Last week, DT officially added Pincha to my practice. I wasn't expecting it, in fact, I was resting in child's pose that day because Tittibhasana had wrung me out and I was feeling sluggish. When DT stepped to the front of my mat and said "Pincha Mayurasana! Let's go!", I was kind of in shock.

I did the pose, but I was a basket case. My arms were sliding all over the place, I was fuzzy-brained and my body felt like a wet noodle waving around in space. I spent the rest of that week in a tizzy. I couldn't stop thinking about how afraid I was. DT was spotting me every day, but I knew there was an expiration on that kind of help.

So, mid-week I took Pincha to the park. In the same soft grass I learned to drop back on, I came into Pincha Mayurasana, then I fell. Over and over again, I fell out of the pose. I fell until falling didn't make me weak with fear, until my brain realised I wasn't going to DIE. I even mastered the whole 'drop-n-roll' thing and started to feel little less anxious.

On Sunday, I set up in the middle of my mat and came into the pose without a spot. Of course, I fell. DT looked up and shrugged. "It happens." I tried again, and I fell. Pincha, flip, *whomp* Repeat as necessary! The third time, I was physically shaking but I gave it another go. I hovered for a nanosecond, then I fell again. *Whomp*

DT came over to assist. She had me come up a second time and told me to lotus my legs and lower them. Karandavasana! I faceplanted. *groan* I tried again. I faceplanted but she helped me lift back up. Then I collapsed into anxious heap on my mat. I'm under no illusion that I've been 'given' Karandavasana. What I've been given is a memo telling me that I'm far, far away from being strong enough to do that pose! Holy smokes, that was HARD.

DT is interested in two things: alignment and long holds to build strength. So I'm working at the wall every day, holding the balance for as long as I can (it's not very long). I try to take Pincha away from the wall at least once during every practice. Today, I *whomped*, but I also had one magic moment when I hovered perfectly in balance and came back down.

It's interesting how this new pose adds a completely different flavour to my practice. I used to dread Tittibhasana. Now I drag my heels through Tittibhasana because I'm dreading what comes next. My nervous system has been absolutely *fried*. I've had some trouble with insomnia and I've been sleeping fitfully.

But here's what really boggles my mind: I'm going to get up tomorrow morning and do it again. And the next day too! I'm not brave - where is this coming from? Is it my stubborn steak? Is it faith? I think this stuff may be making me stronger in places far deeper than muscle. I think I'm learning to say 'no' to the part of my brain that says "I can't".

And that's scaring me a little bit too.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Accidental Hiatus

2011-07-04T17:15:00.001-07:00

Summer was seductive and elusive this year. She approached coyly, dancing just out of reach, then finally swept me up in a tight embrace. I found myself instantly smitten, dizzy with heat and honeysuckle and the intoxicating glow of day lilies.

I've been so distracted! I think I'm in love :-D. This is my season! I adore the sun, I crave the heat and luxuriate in the slower pace of the summer months. I even love the humidity (you can take a girl out of the South, but I guess you can't take the South out of the girl!).

I haven't been blogging because I've been busy soaking up sunshine under flawless blue skies, snacking on fresh-picked mulberries along endless afternoon walks and spending my evenings on the balcony with friends, watching sunsets paint the skyscrapers pink.

I've also been doing a LOT of yoga. During the last weeks of June, my teaching schedule trickled to part-time. On most days, in addition to morning Mysore practice, I've been going to other yoga classes. A dear, longtime friend of mine is visiting from abroad. He loves hot yoga so I've been going to as many hot classes as I can fit in. I've been revisiting some of my favourite teachers at Hot Central and it's been so much fun! I've also been attending a couple of vinyasa classes each week and filling in the gaps with some fun home practices.

I should also come clean about something: I haven't been writing because I really don't know what to say about my practice.

I'm in the first months with this new-to-me teacher in a new shala with rules that I'm still trying to figure out. Practising in this room sometimes feels like a game of Whac-a-Mole. You know the one I'm talking about? At carnivals?

The player holds a big, soft 'hammer' and the 'moles' stick their heads out. But as quickly as they appear, they disappear. One appears in a corner and you think you've nailed it, but another one pops up just as quickly in the far corner. Then another, then another, all in different places. It's disorienting. You can't keep up with them!

Photo credit: Filched off the Internet. If it's yours, let me know and I'll credit you.
I've been bombarded with a lot of new information over the past three months, which I'm slowly trying to integrate into my practice. But whenever I think I've finally figured something out, another thing pops up. I think DT is sometimes frustrated by my seeming inattention to the details, but I really *am* listening to her. It's just a lot to process. My practice has changed ten-fold in the past three months. I think my brain is still catching up with my body.

Sometimes, I feel a bit lost.

After years of practising Primary, I'm facing Intermediate on my mat every day. I never thought I would be here. I used to insist that I would never get to second series. Only very recently have I started to feel like this is *my* practice, the work I'm supposed to be doing. For a while there, I felt like an interloper, doing someone else's yoga practice. Intermediate is challenging and awesome, but I still snuggle back into Primary on Fridays, feeling like a child sheltering under a favourite blanket.

I've made new friends at the new place. My new-favourite-shala-buddy practises right next to me - we share jokes and commiserate over LBH together and she's SO full of awesome. I enjoy being in a room where people support one another and laugh out loud during the funny moments.

But the majority of my shalamates share this common history, having followed DT from her last room. I'm one of a few who came from elsewhere. There are moments when I feel like stranger and wonder if I'll ever really fit in with this crowd.

My practice continues to evolve. Laghu Vajrasana is no longer the FML pose. I can come down to the floor and stay for five (very short) breaths before coming up again. I'm trying to build strength and endurance to stay in the pose longer and come up stronger. I'm also trying to translate the action into the Kapotasana exit.

The leg-behind-head stuff vacillates between 'awesome' and 'agony'. But swinging my legs into Dwi Pada Sirsasana is so natural now, it's hard to believe it ever felt impossible. During my weekly Primary, I regularly Dwi Pada into Supta Kurmasana, lower down, and then do the full exit when I'm done. It's one of the most satisfying moments of my week. :-D

I will try to write here more often. I might take a page from my friend Serene Flavour's book and write shorter posts. I know I'm going to feel like a moving target when I blog about getting new poses, but the reality is, I'm doing Intermediate for real. This is my practice now.

I'm still smarting a bit from the criticism that was lobbed at me when I split Primary (it wasn't the anonymous jabs that stung the most - the real hurt came from people I considered friends). I'm still feeling alienated and wary of the Cybershala these days. I email with a few people and follow a handful of blogs, but I'm not on Twitter much anymore and I've withdrawn into the 'real world' which isn't such a bad thing, actually.

But I've cultivated this web-space with such care and honesty over the years, I'd like to maintain it. So I'll take a stab at posting daily this week and see how it goes..

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Building a Better Band-aid (or pose)

2011-06-17T18:28:00.001-07:00

I learned a great many things this week, but here's a biggie:
Road rash and Astanga are a nasty combination. Gee, we can send a man to the moon and produce shoes that fasten with velcro (and, in fact, these two things are interelated), but apparently we can't make a band-aid that doesn't immediately detach as soon as sweat enters the picture.

Also, as careful as I try to be, it's amazing how many different ways I can knock my body into the skin of my delicate, injured elbow. Particularly exquisite 'agony moments' include: Garba Pindasana, Baddha Padmasana and the exit from Tittibhasana to Bakasana (because I can never seem to get my knees far enough up my arms, though the cranky elbow offered a special incentive...).

A shalamate who works in the food industry and brought me a special gift of heavy-duty, vibrantly coloured band-aids. They definitely worked better than my wimply generic drugstore band-aids. Bonus: when one fell off, it was immediately evident because of the glaring neon hue (this is important for chefs because if a band-aid falls into the souffle, you kinda want to know about that; another new fact I learned this week).

A few of you wrote to ask how I was doing - thanks! It was a tough week. Over the weekend, I was not only dealing with the pain from the accident, but I also had a little bit of a cold so I wasn't sleeping well. Thanks to yoga, I'm long accustomed to parts of my body feeling sore pretty much all the time, so it surprised me how much the raw skin and bruising bothered me. I couldn't sleep on my left hip and my elbow throbbed at night. But it's all healing up now. The cold lasted a day-and-a-half (and my allergies are back with a vengence).

I practised through it all. I managed to squeeze in Intermediate on Sunday and Monday before my Ladies Holiday hit me like a tonne of bricks on Monday afternoon. Then I was utterly miserable for nearly two days, could barely get out of bed at times. It hurt to WALK. On Tuesday morning, I limped into the shala with a big, fluffy bolster and proceeded to shock all my shalamates by doing a restorative Iyengar practice for two hours. I was just glad to be there (and grateful that DT supports the option) and I felt a hundred times better afterward. Yoga really is magic! And DT even taught me a new trick for using a strap in Padmasana, which was very cool.

I taught a few classes on Tuesday night and as I was heading home, I abruptly realised that I was feeling MUCH better and I lept out of bed on Wednesday morning absolutely stoked to do some Primary Series. I had a terrific practice! My LBH poses have really been coming along in the past week. I've long sinced moved away from the wall for Dwi Pada. For a while, I was putting a rolled up blanket behind me to provide a wedge, then I would struggle along until DT came along to rescue me (we had a good system going - she usually tossed the blanket aside for me).

The blanket taught me something important: in order not to fall over backward, I kind of need to *lean* backward. It helps keep the left leg in place behind my head while I wrangle the right leg into place. I've roughly Dwi Pada'ed myself before, but Wednesday was the great day that I managed to come into the pose deeply *all* by myself. AND I lowered myself into Supta Kurmasana without losing my legs down my head, AND lifted myself back up with the legs still in place, AND I lifted up and nailed the Bakasana exit. And THEN (warning: TMI), I ripped my tender left elbow skin apart and cussed out loud. There's a 'win' in there somewhere, though. ;-)

I managed to repeat this feat on Thursday, though it took me a few tries. The first time I went in, DT swooped over. The second time (by myself) was a 'fail', but the third time, I managed to repeat Wednesday's success! I was having such a great practice that day (and the shala was a bit quieter - no one was waiting for my spot) that I went ahead and did the first eight postures of Intermediate too. Wow, Pasasana is SO much easier with all of that warmup. DT suggested I start working towards binding to wrist in that pose, but it still feels impossible to me. I had a good mid-hand grip going on my strongest side, though, without adjustment.

This morning (Friday), with my LH over and two days of Primary behind me, I decided to go ahead and do my Intermediate. I repeated Dwi Pada three times. I was getting into it just fine, but I was having trouble bringing my hands to prayer position and balancing there (without 'weebling'). DT instructed me to 'use my legs', which sounds kind of funny since they're tucked behind my back, but I know what she means. I need to engage my hamstrings.

It always comes back to this and this important lesson came up again and again in practice this week. In Laghu Vajrasana, DT swung by to talk to me after one of my failed attempts to hold the pose on the floor and come up again. I can get to the floor and back up most of the time if I dip (and I usually do a few 'warm up dips' using my skinny half-block). But I haven't yet found that magic alchemy to allows me to stay down there for five breath cycles and then come back up.

"You can't let go, you need to keep it all engaged", DT told me and she pointed out that this is true for every pose. In fact, I believe it's one of her pet peeves about me - it drives her nuts when I take a pose and then I 'flop' into it, especially the ones where I can rely on my flexibility.

This point was most clearly illustrated today during my weekly hot class. I went to the noon hot class because my meditation group meets in the evening. As I was waiting for my class to start, I noticed the person to my left taking a few warm up poses. Not everyone does this, most just lay in Savasana. But this woman was doing *fabulous*, deep backbends, one after the other and I was pretty impressed (and trying not to be too obvious about watching, but WOW).

I immediately assumed that she would have a fabulous practice and I was looking forward to seeing it. Keep in mind, in a hot room, there's less of an emphasis on strict Driste - in fact, you're somewhat encouraged to follow what the people around you are doing, especially if you're new. I also find that while the 'dialogue' is useful, it's kind of awesome to practice next to an advanced practitioner because you can pick up little things from visual cues that you might not grasp from the verbal ones (today, my neighbour to the right was one of those people, and I was learning a LOT from observing her form). Basically, you're allowed to look around a bit and it's not a big deal.

So, the class started and sure enough, my neighbour pulled off beautiful sidebends and her hangback went nearly to the floor and I was impressed and a little envious. But as we moved into subsequent poses, I was surprised. She would come into a pose, sometimes with surprising depth, but then almost immediately come out. This pattern repeated throughout the practice, especially in the standing balances, some of which are held for a minute at a time. Something about this was tickling the edge of my brain and I realised what it was: it was reminding me of *me*, only I do it in backbends.

And it reminded me of something DT says all the time: "You need to build the strength first." DT made this point when I first added handstands to my practice. So you can come into a handstand, big deal. Doesn't mean a thing if you can't hold it. Instead of coming in and out of the handstand, DT wanted me to come into handstand and stay there until I reached my limit of endurance. DT is also fond of pointing out that I'm 'flexible enough, just not strong enough' for certain poses.

Back to the hot class: I'm holding standing-bow (a standing backbend) for the regulation minute and gradually trying to deepen my pose by kicking my leg higher, while still maintaining my balance. By the end of the second set, I noticed something: as I held the pose for a minute and kept kicking up, kicking up, kicking up, I was attaining almost exactly the same depth as my backbendy neighbour. It just took me longer to find it.

I'm not naturally backbendy at all, but it felt as if the depth was coming from the strength of the pose. The stronger I kicked back and the stronger I made my standing leg, the more aware I was of the structure holding the pose together, and the easier it was for me to find the deeper backbend (while still maintaining my balance).

I'm finding more and more that if I don't have the strength, I don't have the pose. All of these poses that I thought I had 'in the bag' because of the length I've developed in my hamstrings (I'm talking Primary Series here), are the very ones that DT is on my case about because I'm not using muscle engagement to hold them together.

I need to take this awareness that I've cultivated very naturally in my hot practice (mainly because the dialogue provides a constant reminder) and apply it to my Astanga practice, especially Intermediate Series, because I don't think I'll find depth in these poses without it.

(photo credit: Bikram Yoga Dallas)

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The Bounce

2011-06-11T17:17:00.001-07:00

When I have a bad day, it's *really* bad. Just like everything else, I like to do my 'bad' thoroughly ;-)

It started before I even woke up. I suffered through a night of restless sleep, punctuated by weird dreams. By morning, it was clear that my body was fighting off some kind of cold bug - my allergies generally don't include a scratchy throat and pounding headache. I rallied my defences (ColdFX, Oregano Oil, Vitamin C), and mixed my special sinus-infection-fighting neti pot potion. Then I set out to walk the dog.

Half-way through our walk, it was clear something wasn't right with Princess Fur's...er...'output'. After the fifth bag, the output issue was *really* dire. 'Great,' I thought, 'Now we're BOTH sick.'

I had a sinking feeling in my stomach as the problem got worse. When we returned home, I did a consult with 'Dr. Google' and decided not to take the 'emergency vet' route, opting instead to withold food for 48 hours to see if it cleared.

With my luck taking such an ominous turn, I left for my morning class early to give myself plenty of time to ride very carefully. I've never had a bike accident in 12 years of riding in this city, but there's always a first time. *helpfulforeshadowing*

I stopped by the farmer's market and picked up my chocolate cookies without incident. As I pedalled east, I kept my eye peeled for hazards and sure enough, a car door opened in my path. This happens a lot. We even have a cute little name for this phenomenom - we call it 'being doored'. I had enough forewarning that I was able to expertly veer into the middle lane, over the streetcar tracks and, luckily, not into the path of a speeding car (the traffic wasn't too heavy). There was a car approaching behind me though, so I veered right as soon was I was in the clear.

And that's when it happened. I'm pretty good at navigating the streetcar tracks that criss-cross this city, but the tracks were a bit slippery from the misty rain and I felt my front wheel slide, turn and fall into the groove of the track. I couldn't control it and I was already moving at a good clip. My bike stopped suddenly and tipped to the right.

And I was flying. I had one moment of total Matrix awesomeness when everything just stopped. In that split-second, this is the thought that popped into my brain: "Like HELL I'm going to reinjure that damned right shoulder again!" So I twisted my body and landed on my left side, breaking the fall with my elbow and sliding between two parked cars.

It was a pretty neat trick and I'm still not sure how I pulled it off.

The next thing I remember, I was standing by a curb, staring into the startled eyes of a posh-looking woman who stood frozen, hand poised to feed a toonie into the parking dispenser. Her eyes were wide, her mouth was hanging open.

"OH. MY. GOD. Are you *okay*?" she gasped. I looked down at my body, moved my fingers and arms, shook my legs one at a time. I checked my clothing: miraculously, there wasn't even the tiniest snag in my uber-expensive Lu crops (which is a relief, since they cost me approximatley a kazillion dollars). My elbow ached, but my spring jacket was undamaged.

"I think I'm okay", I reported.

She shook her head in amazement. "That's the most incredible thing I've ever seen. It's like, you BOUNCED! And then you landed on your feet!" I looked down at my feet and noticed my wristwatch dangling loosely on my wrist. The clasp was broken (must of caught on the bike). I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach at that thought and I looked around frantically for my bicycle. When I found it, it was still on its side, near the track. There was no noticeable damage.

So I climbed back on and rode to work.

I didn't have time to really take stock until after I finished teaching. I chatted with the front desk staff and plastered myself with little band-aids. My left elbow is badly scraped and the emerging bruise will be colourful. The outside of my left hip is very achy. I have roadrash on my left knee and ankle and a very small, but juicy bruise on my left foot. There are a few other scrapes and scratches.

I'm SO lucky!!! It could have been much, much worse.

After that, the day just kept getting weirder.

After teaching, I rode to DT's afternoon vinyasa class. Being on my bicycle felt a tad surreal after the accident. It seemed like every car on the road had an ominous ulterior motive. Obviously, I was still rattled.

I turned up the street into the shala neighbourhood and found myself surrounded by naked people on bicycles. They were everywhere!!! There were men and women and they didn't have a stitch of clothing on. Nada! (and, er, ouch!) They were moving as slowly and amorphously as an a large, fleshy amoeba. I found it impossible to get around them. It was equal parts fascinating, repelling and frustrating.

Damn it. These naked people were going to make me late to yoga!

When I finally arrived at the shala, I felt relieved. I laid my mat by the window and glanced out in time to see the naked bike people streaming by. After alerting my shalamates, I stepped out to fill my water bottle. I told DT "There are naked people riding by on bicycles!"

She tilted her head, looked at me skeptically. "Nooooo! No way!"

"Really!! There are!" I told her. "Go look!"

She shot me a bemused glanced over her shoulder and walked into the practice room. Then I heard her shriek. :-D

Then DT started class. As we moved through the sun salutations, my body heated up and I began to shed little band-aids *everywhere*. I felt like I was depositing a new one for each vinyasa and I started to accumlate a pile of them next to my mat.

Through the yoga haze, I dimmly hoped that I wasn't bleeding on my Mysore rug or I'd have a LOT of explaining to do. In the excitement over the naked people on bicycles, I sort of forgot to tell DT that I took a spill on my own bicycle. I secretly hoped she wasn't planning a lot of arm balancing. The first pose was Bakasana. There was quite a bit of arm balancing.

I tried almost everything except for one tripod-headstand variation that made my elbow throb in warning. For the most part I felt perfectly fine except for a few moments of exquisite agony when roadrash met salty-sweat skin. But the class help me confirm that I wasn't really hurt, per se, just bruised up a bit.

Then I returned home and the Princess was HUNGRY.

"Withold food for 24-48 hours" It sounds really simple, doesn't it? Not if you're Princess Fur's 'primary nourishment provider'! Fur doesn't understand the logic around fasting for health. At first, she thought I was being forgetful, so she helpfully hovered around her food bowl, gazing at it intently. She even patted my leg to get my full attention, walked to kitchen and waited there patiently. Surely, I would get the message!

By suppertime, she realised that something was amiss, especially as I apologetically ate my own meal without offering up the kibble for hers. *guilt* The look of betrayal and confusion on her furry face ripped my heart open. Nothing emphasizes this power dynamic between us so starkly: I'm the keeper of the food. On some level, I was curious how she would react if I didn't fulfill my duty to provide it.

After an entire day of hunger, a certain hopelessness has overtaken my dog's demeanor. She's given up. But she's attached herself firmly to my side, just in case my Grinch's heart turns golden and I decide to fill her bowl after all.

As I write this blog entry, she's curled up next to me in the Fetal Position of Canine Misery. Her back is to me (she refuses to look at me, even when I speak to her gently). Her legs twitch as she dreams. I'm almost certain I know what she's dreaming of: kibble.

I feel like such an asshole.

Also: My elbow hurts. My head is throbbing. And it's chilly and gray outside.

I think I'll just go to bed.

(near the scene of 'the bounce')

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Plank Pose

2011-06-08T17:34:00.001-07:00

I don't what region of Delusion-land I was inhabiting when I thought that June would be a 'less busy' month. In June, my regular sessions finish up and my summer sessions begin. A few of these classes overlap, which requires some fancy footwork and scheduling trickery (since I can't clone myself or be in two places at once). And there's a huge amount of administration involved in the summer classes.

On top of that, I'm suddenly biking *everywhere*. And then the weather decided to instantly be a kazillion degrees and humid. It's been an interesting week.

But there have been some adventures! Last Friday, I found myself in a most unexpected place: the local lumber yard. As I stood in the line-up to pay for a two metre long pine plank, I felt decidedly out of place in my yoga tank and shorts. I was sandwiched between the the contractors in their steel-toed-boots and the manly-house-holders purchasing home-improvement and yard supplies. I stuck out like a tall, skinny sore thumb.

I walked into the warehouse with my receipt feeling a bit nervous about the whole thing, feeling silly about buying one little plank. But a competent, generous employee in a dusty t-shirt and jeans treated me like his most important customer of the day. When I explained what I needed, he enthusiastically dug through piles of planks to locate the very best one. Then he used the finest saw in the house to reduce it down to eight 23cm blocks. He helped me find the right sandpaper and packed it all onto my bicycle. I made a new friend!

I spent the afternoon sanding edges and voila! I now have 8 half-blocks to aid in my 'learning-to-float project'. I could have ordered something online, but why would I want to do that when I could pay $12 and share the love? Two sets now live at the shala and I'm keeping one set at home for home-practice. Another set needs a bit of trimming with the special saw. It's a good opportunity to visit my new buddies at the lumber yard.

Practice has been touch-and-go. Sunday was a great practice. Nothing special about it, just a lot of fun. Monday was just 'okay.' Tuesday was one of those practices that physically hurt - and my body felt like lead. I didn't think I would make it through all the poses, but I did (but it was the quickest backbending and finishing sequence in history). I spent most of it wanting to cry. The morning was so bad that I came home and collapsed into a coma-like sleep for two hours. I'm sure this was part of the problem: I was running on six hours of sleep. Bad lady!

After the trauma of Tuesday, this morning's practice loomed, making me nervous. But it was good and I was relieved.

The other day, I was tryingtryingtrying to land Bakasana B and DT told me not to obsess over it. She patted me on the shouler reassuringly and said with certainty, "It will come when the float comes!" I imagined 'the float' sitting across the street at the Pie Shop, calmly enjoying an espresso, biding its time before deciding to join me on the mat. DT seems SO sure that 'the float' is on its way. I wish I would share her confidence. I *still* feel like my bum is made of lead.

Of course, after that Bakasana B talk, the pose mysteriously became easy. The past few days, I've been getting it on the first or second try.

Yoga works in mysterious ways.

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The Busy, Dwi Pada and P-Fur Paws

2011-06-03T19:43:00.001-07:00

I thought The Busy was going to kill me this week. I'm not done yet, but as of early next week, I'm officially part-time for the summer (I'm teaching a full schedule on Monday). It's funny, my upcoming schedule is full of yoga classes I want to go to, people I want to see, things I want to do, so it doesn't feel very different from the past several months. It's just a different kind of busy. Fun busy!

The weather here has been awesomely erratic. We had an Extreme Heat Alert on Tuesday, but by Thursday morning, it was *freezing* and I needed a coat for my bike ride to the shala. The days have been really nice, though - sunny and mild. I've been going for long walks every day and, since my subway pass expired, I've been biking everywhere.

If I had a ten bucks for every person who's asked me "But doesn't that tighten up your hips!?", I could pay my shala fees for the next two months. Yes, it tightens up my hips a bit, especially during the first few days that I ride. Then, like everything else, my body adjusts to it and I'm fine.

Tuesday was an agonizing LBH day (seriously, it was painful; I reintroduced prep poses) but by Wednesday, it was better and by Thursday, I didn't need to prep - I just moved right into Eka Pada. I've been consistently holding the leg behind my head, hands-free on both sides (I have to support the left leg a tiny bit entering and exiting the forward bend; that's my 'bad' side).

On Thursday, I Dwi Pada'ed all by myself for the first time. It wasn't pretty, but I was able to hold it and lift up (didn't get the bum balance - next time!). These LBH poses are consistently improving.

Also on Thursday, DT observed me for a moment in Laghu Vajrasana, then swooped down and took away my block, the one I had been lowering down to. And *then* she moved the block all the way to the front of my mat, so I couldn't use it. SNEAKY! :-D

I've been working my way down to the lowest level of the block - about 10cm (4 inches). Going to the floor is harder, much harder - that little bit of space makes a huge difference. I kept getting stuck and DT kept rescuing me. All she had to do was place her finger tips on my back ribs to get me to started. Clearly, I have the capacity to do this, I just need to find the action.

Supta Vajrasana is getting better and better. It took me awhile to figure out this pose. DT and I haven't really discussed it a lot, short of some feedback about lifting up from the back ribs and supporting it with my arms. The adjustment is part of the pose and that's the context I'm learning it. I think I may be getting the knack. This week, I noticed that I'm coming up and down more on my own power (rather than hanging onto DT's hands for dear life).

The process has been interesting for me because it's one of my first experiences learning a pose in a Mysore room. I came into Mysore-style already knowing full Primary. Most of the poses of Intermediate are already familiar to me. But now I'm getting into some of the really Astanga-specific poses that I've never worked on before. Supta Vajrasana is one of them. The same can be said of the LBH poses. It's fascinating - and deeply satisfying - to observe myself learning these poses, progressing in them.

I was really looking forward to doing my Primary today. There's a lot of Lolasana in the first part of Primary! The other day, I asked DT if I was doing the whole Lolasana thing right - I don't really feel like I'm making much progress with it. She confirmed that I'm working correctly and encouraged me to continue. It needs six weeks! So, in another month, I'll re-evaluate.

DT and I also chatted about lotusing the legs while inverted. I explained that I was practising this in shoulderstand. She suggested I try it in headstand. For some reason, that sounded harder to me - it made me nervous. Today, after Setu Bandhasana, I came into a tripod headstand near the wall. I surprised myself. Not only was I able to get my legs into a decently tight lotus, but I lowered the lotus to my arms, then lifted up again! It was fun! I repeated it three times and on the third go, I was lifted and lowered my legs over and over again. WEEEEEE! (yes, easily entertained).

And, not so easily entertained, but certainly well-rested: Princess Fur slept through most of the writing of this blog post.

Sometimes, you need to look VERY carefully to spot Fur when she's napping! Awwww, PAWS!

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Stay

2011-05-30T18:19:00.001-07:00

If I were to pick one word to describe yesterday's practice, it would be 'bendy'. Today's word: 'tired'. On Sundays, I start practice at 9:30 in the morning so I've had time to walk the dog, drink tea, and loll around a bit. Also, the shala was like an *oven* yesterday. It was awesome! This morning, I started at my usual time, 6 a.m., and it felt like every muscle in my body was aching a little bit. I didn't have a lot of stamina.

In my long-winded practice report on Saturday, I made a significant ommission. I forgot probably the most important part: Laghu Vajrasana. I've been Laghu Vajrasana-ing like crazy lately. Early last week, DT suggested that I come down and come up at least 5 times in a row. I've been doing that, then repeating until I can't do it anymore. So five 'chicken pecks' (As Owl likes to call them), then a short rest. And again. And again. I do about three sets of five. By that point, I'm so exhausted that I'm shaking a little bit, then I go on to do Kapotasana like a good little masochist.

Every practice is hard right now, but there's almost always an 'easter egg' hidden somewhere in that two-hour time frame. Yesterday, the egg was in Laghu. I had just finished going up and down and up and down for the kazillionth time (okay, the 9th), when DT stopped by said: "That's good! It's looking much better!" Somewhere in my fuzzed-out Laghu stupor, I acknowledged her, then continued chicken pecking.

It was a great moment, because DT almost never does that. If she observes that I'm getting the hang of something or a pose has reached a new level, she just gets busy making it harder for me.

Today's 'easter egg' was Bakasana B. I've been landing it fairly consistently on the third or fourth try. When I filmed it last Friday at home, I observed that when I jump into it, I always *have* it, but I don't *keep* it. Same thing happened today. I jumped into it, then popped my toes to the floor.

I've learned something important in hot yoga, from practising standing balances. In Bikrams, these balances are long holds and I realised that once I *have* the balance, I need to make a decision to *stay* for the duration.

In other words, I need to decide that I'm NOT going to fall out. No matter what, no matter how much I wobble or how silly I look.

So today I decided: no matter how ugly my Bakasana was, no matter how unstable I felt, I would jump into Bakasana and I would STAY. And I did. And I nailed it. Oh yeah, it was ugly, but I was there for five breaths and *that* part was beautiful!

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Look ma! No hands!

2011-05-28T17:41:00.000-07:00

I had a very good yoga week, but for some reason I didn't have much to say about it. I was doing a lot, thinking a lot, but I didn't feel like writing.

I glanced through my private practice notes to form a bigger picture and realized that I covered quite a lot of ground over the past week. Here's an overview...

LBH: This week, I started consistently getting Eka Pada Sirsasana on the right side hands-free. Near the end of the week, I was able to come back up from the forward fold without the leg slipping at all. The pose is slowly coming on the stiffer left side and by Thursday, both sides of the pose were hands free. The exit is also getting stronger. Lately, DT has been holding off on the Dwi Pada Sirsasana assist, letting me flail around a bit before coming in at the very last moment to help me get the right leg back. Because my left side is stiffer and that's the leg that goes behind my head first in Dwi Pada, it's a bit tricky. I end up rolling onto my back a lot.

Kapotasana: For awhile, I was taking the traditional entrance into this pose and dropping back to the floor, but it was getting to a point where I felt I wasn't going anywhere with it. This week, DT suggested I go back to working against the wall for Kapo and walk my hands down while trying to deepen the bend/lift in the upper back. I'm working on finding muscular support from below (to help me lift my hips up and forward).

Backbending: I used those fancy, expensive 'Health Bridges' twice daily for almost a month, but wondered if they were really making a difference. So I stopped using them for about two weeks and realised that they really *were* affecting depth of my backbends and my ability to connect with that part of my body, especially the upper back. So I'm using them again and working up to two sessions a day. Mid-week, DT suggested I practice UD with my feet closer together, hip width. I tried this and I like it - I feel a stronger connection to my legs. I shot a State-of-the-Backbend photo after practice on Friday. Given that I wasn't practising Urdhva Dhanurasana for almost four months this winter, it's looking pretty good. I'm nearly back to where I was pre-shoulder-injury.

Headstand: Sirsasana is one of my stronger poses and I deeply enjoy it. I've been trying to hold it longer, but feeling shy about using my iPod alarm at the shala so I'm not sure how long I've been going. DT has hardly adjusted me at all in that pose, but this week, she encouraged me to lift my head off the floor to build more strength in my arms and back. She didn't say why, but I'm thinking this is a good prep for Pinca Mayurasana. She also talked to me about building strength in my neck, alluding to the 'seven deadlies' at the end of Intermediate. That's far, far away for me, but no reason not to get started.

Lolasana: I've been diligently doing as much of this as I can in my practice. On Friday, I filmed my Lolasana to see what it looked like and it was pretty disapointing. I don't seem to be getting any stronger. I'm going to film every Friday to measure my progress.

Other stuff: In the Saturday class, we workshopped Mayurasana a bit, using blocks under the shoulders to come into the pose, trying to get the lift in the legs. It's hard, but I had one absolutely magic moment when everything activated and my legs floated up.

So that's a wrap! Onward to the new yoga week!

Though our spring has been damp and cold, summer is waiting in the wings. It's forecast to be July-hot next week. I only have one more week of my full-time schedule - As of June 7, I drop to part-time. With evenings free, I'm looking forward to doing a second practice on most days. I plan to work on extracurricular stuff that will supplement my morning practice. I'm also adding another weekly vinyasa class with my old teacher HS and maybe an additional hot class.

As my attitude towards my practice has shifted, my goals have shifted too. My main goal for the summer is to build strength. Every week, I'm sore somewhere. The week before last, it was intense in my hamstrings and my core. This week, it was a general soreness around my torso and upper back and my legs were tired. I'm connecting with all these muscles I didn't know I had (or had never communicated with before).

Each time I hit a brick wall in my practice, DT says: 'That's because you're not strong enough.' So for now, I'm focusing on getting 'strong enough' and curious to see what happens when I do.

State-of-the-Backbend, May 27, 2011
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Impossible things

2011-05-24T17:36:00.001-07:00

My attitude about my practice has taken an enormous shift since I started practising in DT's room. Suddenly, I want - REALLY want - to master all of these complicated, difficult things in my practice, the stuff I avoided before. Mainly it's because she makes everything look easy and fun and seamless, but also because she always comes up with a good answer when I ask 'why' (and I'm allowed to ask why, something I didn't feel comfortable doing in the more traditional rooms I've practised in).

Floaty jumpbacks always seemed like window dressing to me, but after that workshop on Sunday, I finally *get it*. Floaty vinyasas, in of themselves, are not important, BUT the strength and control required to achieve them is. Because the strength balances out all of the flexibility. Because the vinyasa linking each pose is like a glue, holding everything together. And because this balance keeps the practice sustainable, helps prevent injuries and is an important preparation for Advanced (if I ever get there...).

So I'm taking Lolasana way more seriously, doing it as often as possible in my Intermediate practice and holding it for as long as possible. I'm now looking back at all those wasted years of Primary Series with regret - I could have been *rocking* all of that vinyasa! That's okay - I'll make up for lost time on Fridays! :-D

I'm also spending more time in handstand. I usually do three handstands against the wall, right before Bakasana. Yesterday, DT wandered over and pointed out that I'm bringing too much weight into the heels of my hands. When she corrected it, my entire balance shifted forward and my body slammed into the wall. BLURG.

Today, she wanted me to lift out of my shoulders. She demonstrated, coming into a handstand herself, mimicking what I was doing, then doing it correctly (it was actually pretty funny - I was cringing at the demonstration of 'my handstand'! Yeesh, am I really THAT floppy?!). I finally got it, though. It's kind of a lengthening of the inseam of the legs upwards, as if the feet were going to stand on the ceiling. DT said, "It's Tadasana, upside-down!" It *did* feel lighter and more controlled..

Later on in the day, I was on the floor playing fetch with Princess Fur when I suddenly had this 'OMG-handstand-epiphany'. We've already established that when I bring the weight into my fingers, my weight shifts toward the wall. And whenever I do it, I have this disconcerting feeling that I'll fall over backwards. I remembered that I used to feel *exactly* the same way about headstand, but I had to get over it because that shift is what makes it possible to lift the legs into a pike.

*lightbulb!*

I tried it and it totally works in handstand too! I've been trying to lift my legs into a handstand for *years*. I always knew it was possible, but I couldn't figure out how it was done. For me, 'bringing the weight into the fingers' is the missing piece of that puzzle.

So I've been doing handstands all day like a silly kid! :-) Beautiful day too - sunshine and blue skies. I wonder if I'll be able to drudge up the courage this summer to start working on handstands away from the wall, maybe on the grass in the park? Hm...

This photo is from yesterday - scary skies over my city as the thunderstorms moved through.

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I know! Let's blow ourselves up!

2011-05-23T17:43:00.001-07:00

This is *not* a happy time of year to be Princess Fur.

It's Victoria Day Weekend here in Canada. For those of you not familiar with our odd canuck customs, here's a primer: In theory, this holiday commemorate's Queen Victoria's birthday. In practice, it's just another day off, usually reserved for 'opening up the cottage' if you're lucky enough to have one. Those who don't tend to congregate in various city parks, parkettes, parking lots and back yards, get drunk on cheap beer and blow themselves to smithereens with cheap fireworks.

It's a tradition, eh?

It would be nice if everyone limited these actitives to the actual holiday (which, like many Canadian Holidays, is on a Monday), but usually the entire weekend is one huge orgy of beer, barbeque and Big Loud Booms.

Poor Princess Fur spends most of it hiding - either in the back of my clothes closet or jammed behind the toilet in the bathroom. She shakes and cries and if I'm moving about, she hugs my ankles like an alarmed toddler and won't let me out of her sight.

Last night, the weather cleared and it was a beautiful night. I think many people used up their fireworks because rain was forecast for Monday night. So I was up until the wee hours, cradling my terrified dog. She was shaking like a leaf and cowering in a corner until well after midnight.

I rolled into the shala this morning after five hours of fitful sleep. I'm realising more and more that I simply MUST get enough sleep. I can't do this practice if I'm tired. The first part was okay, but I was seriously dragging by the time I hit LBH and I thought Tittibhasana was going to *kill* me.

By the time I finished and staggered out of the room, I was already in the full throes of a full-scale energy crash. I don't know how I made it home. As soon stumbled in the door, I crawled back to bed, still dressed in my sweat-soaked shala clothes and passed out cold for two hours. I woke up cranky, disoriented and shaking with cold.

So, it was not a great morning, but there was some fun in applying the stuff I learned in the workshop yesterday to my practice. And between the morning nap, the afternoon nap and the Bikram class I just got back from (Peanut was teaching so I couldn't resist - he's one of my favourite teachers) I'm feeling perkier.

After hot class, I went to the Absurdly Expensive Gourmet Pizza Place and picked up a 'Vegan Magic' pizza for supper. In a few minutes, I'll join Princess Fur in the bathroom, where she's hiding from the thunder. A line of storms just moved through the area AND it appears some idiots are already collecting in the park between rainshowers so they can continue blowing themselves up. When Canadians do Crazy, they do it with gusto!

I had high hopes for an early bedtime tonight, but I'm not holding my breath.

Happy Victoria Day!

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Patience

2011-05-22T17:07:00.000-07:00

I had the nicest lie-in this morning. I woke around 6:30, ate breakfast and did some reading, then I went back to sleep since Mysore didn't start until later. I was groggy when I arrived at the shala so I wasn't sure how practice would unfold, but it was actually great! My Intermediate is flowing a bit better and I finished up everything in an hour and forty minutes.

I went home to get cleaned up and headed right back for the workshop. The workshop was so helpful - and challenging. DT covered the basics of jumping back and jumping through, with lots of Lolasana, a bit of handstand and some detailed discussion of precisely what type of strength must be cultivated to master a 'lift' (hint: not just the core). Most of my questions were on that topic and I wanted to know very specifically how I could work on these things in the context of my practice.

I can lift up into Lolasana, which is an improvement from what I was able to do last year at this time (and I'm actually pleased with my progress, given that my shoulder injury prevented me from working on this stuff for nearly 6 months). But I can't nail the second part, lifting my hips up and floating my feet back. Actually, this shows up everywhere in my practice and whenever I bump up against some 'impossible thing,' strength is usually at root of it.

The only way to find this action is to keep working on it and keep trying, so I'll carry on. Patience! That's how I got Chaturanga 8 years ago. Around the time I started YTT, I couldn't do Chaturanga at all. My first eight years of yoga study had been Iyengar-style and vinyasa wasn't part of my practice at all. But I kept at it, doing a silly belly flop day after day until eventually, I found the missing piece that allowed me to lower down smoothly.

At the time, I would watch other people do Chaturanga and I couldn't understand how they made it look so easy. When I was finally able to do it, it didn't seem difficult at all.

That's the faith I'm hanging on to. Whenever I get too frustrated with things that seem impossible (and look like magic tricks when other people do them), I remind myself of Chaturanga and carry on...

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Waiting for the Rapture...

2011-05-20T20:53:00.001-07:00

I had a rough practice this morning, which I capped off nicely by falling sound asleep while 'taking rest'. I've never done that before in a shala! I woke up disoriented and realised I'd been at the shala for nearly two-and-a-half hours by that point. Good thing I didn't have anywhere I needed to be (and the room wasn't particularly crowded).

After practice, my back felt tweaked out on the right side. As soon as I got home, I rinsed off, put on a fresh set of yoga clothes and headed back out to Hot Central. I figured a Bikrams class might iron things out a little bit and it did - I felt better. The area is still a little tender, but nothing a few minutes rolling around on a tennis ball won't solve.

I'm not certain what brought this on. I do know that I've been using mucles differently in a several postures of my Primary. And Intermediate has been causing all sorts of sensation to emerge in my back too. I'm keeping an eye on it all and being mindful.

Taking that earlier Bikram class fit my schedule perfectly! I couldn't go to the 'Gong Show' hot class tonight because I met up with my meditation group and we all went out to eat afterward. Nothing like Buddhist meditation and Indian food to cap off the last day before the Rapture! I needed to confirm my status as a heathen so there will be no question tomorrow when the Angels of Mercy descend from On High to scoop up the Righteous! Me=Not Righteous!

Is it selfish to hope that the Rapture doesn't carry off my Mysore teacher? I was really looking forward to that workshop on Sunday! I also hope God doesn't carry off the people with floaty vinyasas and deep backbends (I'm looking at you, Susan) leaving the rest of us behind to fend for ourselves!

Also, given that these are the End Days, I'm thinking it might be fun to finish up Intermediate Series by the time the world implodes permanently in October. Do you think I'll be able to pull it off in between earthquakes, plagues and floods? Those seven headstands might be kinda hard to nail if the ground is shaking...

(It boggles me that any God in His right mind would destroy a world that's looking so pretty...!)

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The sun is out...now

2011-05-19T19:12:00.001-07:00

Practice was Primary again today. I'm relishing this opportunity to spend quality time with my Primary. The only extracurriculars I'm adding are the LBH poses and I'm making some progress with them.

Yesterday, I immersed myself in the LBH section of Maehle's book and today applied some of his advice for Eka Pada Sirsasana. Result: I'm now able to hold the pose, with hands in prayer (praying, of course, that the legs doesn't slide out from behind my head!) on both sides AND lower into the forward fold without losing my leg.

I might've Dwi Pada'ed myself again too, but DT came over to help. With her adjustment, I lowered to the floor for Supta K and my feet didn't slide down the back of my head to the floor! I kept them there! YAY! I couldn't keep the pose together for the exit, but it's coming.

Outside of practice, I've started lotusing my legs the opposite way (left foot first) so I can get used to it. Yesterday, I noticed that the inside of my left knee was feeling a little bit tweaky. I asked DT about this, showed her how I was coming into it and she told me exactly what I needed to do to keep the pressure off that part of my knee.

I'm still trying, trying, trying to find that elusive opening across my upper chest, lifting those back ribs UP. In my deep backbending against the wall, I'm struggling to straighten my arms. When I ask DT, the answer is always the same: It's not about flexibility, it's about strength and alignment. In this case, I'm just not grasping the action needed to straighten my arms.

*Sigh* I remember when I first started practising, yoga was about putting a foot here, an arm there and YAY! A pose! Now, it's more about engaging this thing and pushing inward while simultaneously pushing outward and engaging something while releasing the adjacent thing and externally rotating this while internally rotating that and THEN creating length in another place while restraining other parts that are just *dying* to jut out. And in this roundabout way, finally building the action required to do the thing you actually wanted to do.

*braincrash*

It never gets any easier because yoga is this all-you-can-eat buffet of progressively more complicated skill sets. After 16 years of this stuff, I *still* feel like a beginner - in part because I've been fortunate enough to study with teachers who keep it all fresh for me by constantly raising the bar. There's always a new layer to explore. It's exciting!

********************
News flash: the sun is shining, intermittently, but shining. It was shining yesterday too - for five minutes. Such a shame it's been so lousy out - I'm missing the peak 'Pretty Flower Season'. Instead of hunkering down under an electric blanket, I *should* be walking around the city, smelling brightly coloured growing things.

Last night, as I was coming in from work, I spotted some practically new freebie patio furniture sitting on the loading dock. I grabbed two chairs and a table and I've set up a nice little garden area on my balcony. I have a feeling it will become my new-favourite-place as soon as the weather warms up. All I need now is a fake grass carpet and I'll be set! In the elevator this afternoon, I had a chance to thank the neighbour who gave the stuff away (he had literally just set it out when I nabbed it). He made my day, I made his!

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Rain and more rain

2011-05-18T12:16:00.001-07:00

My 'ladies holiday' kindasorta started this morning, not with a bang, but more of a whisper. I decided to take it easy and just do Primary. That's probably what I'll be doing for the rest of the week.

I had the nicest practice! The downpour waited until I walked into the warm, dry shala, with little pitterpatters on the roof and windows. Then, a serene quasi-dark fell over the room while the storm moved over us. I savoured my forward bends and watched water drip down the big picture window in front of me. I basked in the feeling of being warm and safe and happy.

The highlight was when I managed, for the first time, to 'Dwi Pada' myself and lower into (an extremely sloppy) Supta Kurmasana. The LBH poses seem a lot easier in the context of Primary Series!

Lately in my Primary, I've been working on vinyasas and transitions. Last Friday, the theme was getting the right kind of exit and entrance in the various poses (like the Marichyasanas, for example). I suppose the operative word here is 'trying'. It was a bit of a 'fail' but fun.

The healing of my shoulder has been a slow process, but last Friday's practice confirmed what I already knew: my shoulder is completely back to normal. All of that lifting and jumping and experimentation didn't leave me sore or re-injured. I've been backing off from this part of my practice for months and it helped me heal.

But I think the biggest help was having a teacher around to watch out for me and correct my quirky Chaturanga. The modified vinyasas were not hurting me, but I think I was straining my shoulders (both) by collapsing them forward each time I lowered down. I'm not doing unasssited dropbacks on right now because I land too hard (during one of my hard landings, I swear I could feel DT cringe from all the way across the room).

Today, I worked on simple jumpbacks and jumpthroughs. Prior to the injury, I had a decent jumpthrough, jumpbacks were coming along. For now, while I work on form and building strength, I'm using blocks. The handful of ashtangis I most admire, who have controlled, floaty vinyasa transitions (my teacher among them) learned this way. I'm going with what works. DT mentioned that I will probably need shorter blocks (closer to the floor) soon. She's going to look for some.

I spoke with her before I started practice today to confirm that I was working in the right way. She made a few changes. I need to jump through with crossed legs part of the time, alternating legs so I don't develop a imbalance. I can alternate those jumpthroughs with straight-leg jumps (which, oddly enough, I find much easier!).

The timing couldn't be better: DT is teaching a jumpback/jumpthrough workshop on Sunday from 1-3. I'm really looking forward to it. I think it will help a lot.

DT has given me some new backbendy things to do against a wall. She's beginning to emphasize extension of the hip flexors more with me now. Today, she showed me a backbending exercise facing the wall (while standing and hanging back). It's wickedly difficult, mostly because it requires me to reach my arms overhead and back while pressing my quads flat to the wall. I feel like I'm going to fall over backwards (or die) which, of course, means I'm not strong enough. ;-)

But yay for narrow hallways! I have one at home so I'll work on this with two walls until I can build more strength. I've been cheating on Astanga a bit lately. I teach classes at gyms, so whenever I have the opportunity, I've been using the Magic Hamstring Machine and doing some exercises to build core strength. When I add stuff like this to my routine, I do it in the spirit of experimentation. If I don't see any benefit to my practice, I move on to other things. Time will tell.

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Bakasana and Dancing Blue Turds

2011-05-17T11:07:00.001-07:00

I clearly remember rushing out to buy Gregor Maehle's 'Intermediate Series' book when it was first released. Then I looked through it and thought, "What the hell am I doing with this? When am I ever going to practise Intermediate Series?" I put it on the shelf and sulked off to do my endless forward bends.

Now, that book is my BIBLE. I even purchased the Kindle edition so I can carry it with me everywhere and it's really the best thing ever! When I find a spare moment, I open it on my iPad and geek out on the minute little details of the poses I'm working on.

Yesterday, I was reading the section on Bakasana B while stuck on a delayed train in a tunnel somewhere in the vast underground of the city. I must have laughed out loud because the woman next to me glanced over and said: "That must be a *great* book!" I nodded. "I'm learning how to turn my armpits into a vacuum using my inhalation." She smiled at me nervously and scanned the train for another open seat.

I felt bad for scaring her. Obviously, the Crazypants is leaching into my leisure time.

The Armpit Vacuum has been on my mind ever since. This morning, I gave it a go and successfully (and lightly!) landed Bakasana three times. Armpit-suctioning-madskillz really work! Who knew? The fact that this feat was repeatable is encouraging, but in order for me to successfully land in that arm balance, I've learned that the following conditions must be met:

1) My suctioning armpits must be turned on.
2) My Driste must be far, far forward - like across the street.
3) I can't even *think* about starting my inhale until I'm actually preparing to take the leap and that's probably too soon.
4) Under NO circumstances can my teacher be watching me do it! ;-)

Too bad Kapotasana isn't this straightforward. In describing the entrance into *that* pose, Maehle explained: "There is an entire universe in this movement." No kidding! *sigh* Clearly, I have my work cut out for me...

So I know a few of you are scratching your heads and wondering, isn't it a Moon Day? Why yes, it is. My new shala is open on Moon Days and when the shala is open, I'm there, no question. After my long teacher-drought, I'm not willing to miss a single minute of instruction.

At first, I thought I would miss the day off but I actually don't mind at all. In fact, it's easier to just stay with my routine. I love my practice so much these days, that I'm just happy to be in the shala.

********************
The weather is still gray and cool here, but at least it's not raining. I didn't teach at noon so I ran errands instead. Princess Fur needed dog food and I also bought a box of fancy 'poo bags'.

These bags are special! They are hand-shaped, kind of like a baseball mitt. I guess this will come in handy when Princess Fur suddenly developes high-velocity projectile pooing abilities.

The instructions on the box are pictorial and very helpful

Here's a translation:

Step 1) The dog has a great idea! *exclaimationpoint* *helpfularrow* The dog will eject feces from her anus at high velocities for the human to catch! (Cue: Mula Bandha).

Step 2) The human uses the specially designed Scoopies Poo Mitt to catch the Dancing Blue Turds as they fly across the park. (Cue: Happy Dance!).

Step 3) The Dancing Blue Turds then board their shuttle craft to rendezvous with the Mothership for their return to Planet Dog Poo. The dog waves 'Bye-Bye'. Planet Earth is safe for humanity once again (Cue: Dramatic space-themed soundtrack).

Seriously, I can't wait to try these out! Princess Fur is thinking deeply about Mula Bandha. I'm thinking deeply about my failed baseball career.

I'll let you know how it goes.

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Found Hamstrings & The Raccoon Loaf

2011-05-16T18:26:00.001-07:00

It was 7C this morning when I jumped on my bike to ride to the shala. For those of you who dream in Fahrenheit, that's the low 40s. My landlord turned off the building heat because, hey, it's mid-May and it's *supposed* to be warm so I've been running my old heater in the apartment - the noisy one. My oil heater now lives at the shala so I can better fly my freak flag as the 'the one who's so hard-core, she brings her own HEATER.'

Anyway, it's cold and it's rainy and practice was difficult this morning. Everything felt slightly 'off.' DT has been leaving me to stew in my own private Idaho in the LBH poses. It's not going so badly. On a good day, my legs stay put in Eka Pada Sirsasana but I need to grab my foot coming down into the forward bend. The leg always pops out during the exit. Dwi Pada is only doable if I can lean into a wall. This pose always makes me think of Weebles. Remember Weebles? They wobble but they don't fall down? I need to be a Weeble.

DT descended as I was wiggling into the first side of Eka Pada today and I received deep adjustments on both sides and a few tips to help me do it myself. My LBH poses *are* getting deeper. I noticed today that with the help, I could actually find some extension in my torso, especially on the right side. I felt like I was sitting up straight instead of curled forward like a gargoyle.

And there's *good* news! My hamstrings are sore, really sore. This afternoon, I sat down on a bench in the subway station and made a surprised 'OOF!' sound when my tender hammies touched down. Over the weekend, DT and I were messaging back and forth. I wrote: "You'll be happy to know that my hamstring hurt." She messaged back: "Yes, that means you're using them." Yay!

I'm used to my quadraceps being sore, but not my hamstrings. It feels backward!

*********************
In other news, our shala has a mascot! A raccoon! Actually, the raccoons have been around for years. I remember seeing them back when Shala Central was at this location. They like to hang out on the green roof right outside our windows.

When we arrived for practice on Sunday, it was wet and miserable out. A raccoon had found shelter, curled into a furry ball between the air conditioning unit and the window in what can only be described as a 'raccoon loaf'. Cat owners will know exactly what I'm talking about! When I walked to the corner to unroll my mat, he kind of checked me out, then curled back up into his loaf.

(by the way, it's probably *not* a good idea to Google the term 'raccoon loaf'. I thought MY freak flag was flying high. Eek!)

As the room filled up, the raccoon finally freaked out and left. I lowered the blind to give him some privacy (after I noticed that he was cautiously peering around the corner at me as I was coming into upward dog), but he didn't come back.

A shalamate caught this photo of him, sleepy and slightly disoriented. He looks exactly like a small child groggily waking up from his nap, which makes perfect sense because that's exactly what he was doing! Aw!!!! Cute!

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Vacationing Hamstrings

2011-05-15T17:42:00.001-07:00

The weather was horrible today. Cold, damp, pouring raining. The bike ride home was pure misery. As soon as a stepped in the door, I ran a bath and marinated in a tub full of Epsom salts for a half-hour. I'm heading right back to that tub after I publish this post. It's been *that* kind of day.

Oh, my poor, SORE hamstrings. *groan* I must be doing something right because my legs HURT!

********************
I've been trying to think of how I could best sum up the past week of yoga practice. In my brain, it feels something like this: HamstringsHamstringsHamstringsGluteusMediusHamstringsPleaselegstaybehindmyheadNOTanotherbackbendGAH! There's definitely a theme, though it's a bit fuzzy.

The conversations and analysis around all-things-Urdhva-Dhanurasana continue... On Wednesday, I came down from a backbend after yet another failure to 'turn on' my hamstrings. I asked DT depairingly: "Is it a lack of intelligence in my hamstrings, or a lack of strength?" She replied: "Probably a bit of both." I groaned. "So my hamstrings are weak AND stupid?" DT laughed and said: "More like they're on vacation."

"Dominican Republic," I confirmed. "They don't like the Canadian winters." Not only are my hamstrings getting drunk at the Urdhva Dhanurasana party, they're doing the limbo on tropical shores while drinky fruit cocktails. That's just awesome! *eyeroll*

But! My legs *are* getting stronger and I'm seeing effects across my practice. I'm able to lower all the way to the floor in Laghu Vajrasana again (this is a first since the shoulder injury). My backbends are getting deeper. My lame little version of Kapotasana is even feeling better (though 'better' is a relative term in Kapo).

When I did my Primary on Friday, I could feel a difference in all the poses - DT even noticed it. At the 'Gong Show' Bikram class that evening, I was able to do every. single. pose. competently for the first time ever - including my nemesis, toe-stand.

A new depth is emerging in my yoga practice - Intermediate Series is making me stronger.

There's a huge mental component to this, too. I'm learning that I have to be 'on' all the time. That's why it's so exhausting! In every pose, a major muscle group is working like mad. The poses of Intermediate Series not only demand strength, but a greater coordination of effort between different parts of the body. I find that I need to pay attention and I can't 'relax' into a pose.

I'm constantly amazed by how difficult even the most simple poses are. Take Tittibhasana. My hamstrings are pretty open so this one is not a big deal for me. I can breeze through Tittibhasana A and B (though the walking part is a little bit weird). But my endurance starts to flag in C and my legs are shaking like jello by the time I get to Tittibhasana D because it's SO MUCH WORK. Then I fall on my face trying to exit.

So that's the theme of my practice this week: It's difficult, demands full attention and deep reserves of perserverance and strength. But it's getting easier every day.

********************
On Friday, I welcomed a special visitor to our shala! The lovely Serene Flavor joined us for practice! If you ever have a chance to meet this amazing woman, you MUST! She was visiting town for a family event and cleared a whole morning to spend with me.

It was such a treat!!! She's incredibly warm and sparkly, one of those people you feel like you've known forever within minutes of meeting. It was so much fun having her in the room for Mysore. She has a great energy and focus in her practice. And it makes the 'Cybershala' feel a whole lot smaller and more 'real' when I'm able to practice with other bloggers. Her visit was well-timed: her kindness and good energy reminded me of how special our online community reallly is. It's a blessing and joy to connect with other Ashtangis from around the continent and around the globe!

After practice, I brought her to my 'hood for breakfast and introduced her to Princess Fur (and the "famous" Blue Futon). Then the three of us took a walk around the city. The weather couldn't have been more perfect: sunny and warm. Spring surprised us this year by arriving all at once - it feels like every tree and flower is bursting to life simultaneously. It was the perfect morning!

I'm so glad we had a chance to meet and I was able to show her the city at its best! Here's a photo of the three of us on the grounds of the University.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Party Crashers and Evangelists

2011-05-10T10:34:00.001-07:00

It's been a little over a week since 'Dogma-gate' and I'm long overdue in thanking all of you for your super-awesome comments. They went a long way towards convincing me that I'm not crazypants. And you also reminded me of something essential: We should all be minding our mental Driste as well as our visual one. And honouring the principal of Ahimsa in our lives and on our blogs by refraining from anonymous, person attacks on one other.

My teacher wrote a terrific blog post about dogma here. Go read it, then come back, because you don't want to miss the part about my drunken, party-crashing quadraceps.

Are you back? Good!

I was startled by how deeply those comments affected me. In hindsight, I totally get it because I was having a tender, touchy week. Intermediate Series is tough! I'm only practising roughly half the series and it still wrings me out, exhausts me physically and mentally (and I thought it would be *easier*! Ha,ha,ha! I'm still having a good laugh about that one, at my own expense). By the time I finish my practice, taking rest seems like too much work. I just want to curl up in a ball and pass out.

But I'm adjusting. This morning, after successfully binding both sides in Pasasana, I realised that I just have to *decide* to bind. If there's any question in my mind about the binding then it doesn't happen. I started to apply this new philosophy to each pose and I realised that up to this point, I've been approaching the Intermediate Series the same way Dobby the House Elf (of 'Harry Potter' fame) approached that all-important sock that set him free from slavery. "A SOCK, Master?! Really? FOR ME? You've given Dobby a SOCK!?"

Each and every pose was feeling like an all-encompassing event that I had to think about, double-check, and brace myself for. On some level, I couldn't believe I was actually doing these poses. Me! On my mat! Intermediate Series! I was worried that somebody (Anonymous? The Astanga Police?) would march into the Shala and take it all away from me. This morning, I let go of all that.

I also let go of any illusion of perfection. I practised each pose to the best of my ability, and then I let it go so I could move on to the next. And my practice flew by. I didn't have help with LBH poses this morning, so I wiggled into them myself. My exits from Eka Pada Sirsasana would have made fine comedy material, but I tried. Dwi Pada Sirsasana was a train wreck, but it was MY trainwreck and I'm kind of proud of the way I bungled through it. For the first time since I split, I feel like this practice belongs to me. I'm owning it, in all its rough imperfection.

I didn't really stop or slow down until I got to the backbending - and DT was waiting for me to get the party started. Today, instead of poking my own hamstrings, I poked hers, which only highlighted how uncooperative *mine* are. Another piece of this puzzle is my gluteus medius.

Let's take the horrible 'party' analogy to it's full expression, shall we?

Urdhva Dhanurasana is having a party! Yay! Invitiations have been sent out. The hamstrings RSVP'ed and they're supposed to be bringing a date, the glut medius. Everything is going fine. Most of the guests have arrived - my heels are grounded, my inner thighs are internally rotating and our hostess (DT) has nudged my errant right foot (the one that always splays out) back into place. The President's Choice hors d'oeuvres are circulating and the drinks are flowing freely. I press up into the backbend. And that's when the quadraceps arrive, loud and unruly. You can't even have a conversation over the din of their off-tune singing. They dance around the room clutching a bottle of whisky while the hamstrings look on despairingly. The hams shoot a meaningful glance at the glut medius and say: "Hey, this place is getting a bit crowded. What do you say we head to the martini bar down the street?"

This is around the time that DT is usually shaking her head and saying "Nope, they're not on, the hamstrings are not on" and I'm collapsing into a heap, bemoaning my burning quadraceps. We tried a few different things today. Some of these things helped, some made me feel like I was trying to speak Swahili. But it's a process. That's why it's called a 'practice' and I'm there every day, at 6 a.m., rain or shine.

Which, in a funny way, leads me right back to dogma. There's actually nothing wrong with dogma - as long as it lives within the confines of our own mats. Let's face it - everybody has a personal brand of batshit crazy that no one else can understand. My non-Astanga friends think I'm nuts. My more traditional Astanga friends suspect that I'm not quite nuts enough.

But at 6 a.m., it's just me and my crazy on my mat, with occasional input from my teacher. Dogma tells us that everyone is doing the same practice, but it's just not true. We're all doing our own version of Astanga. Each teacher out there is transmitting this practice as they were taught - and the variations are staggering (and so are the disagreements around who is 'correct').

How about this: We're all correct! Everyone has their own dogma, their own frame of reference for this practice. Each Mysore room has a culture, carefully cultivated by the teacher. It's when we start applying our own crazy to everyone around us that the conflict begins. When we stop respecting each other as practitioners, that's when we've lost the heart of Astanga, the very thing that brings us to the mat in the first place: Yoga-Yuj-Unity.

This is a value I'm holding on to, one that tells me I'm not alone and there's a deeper meaning to everything I'm doing, on the mat and off.

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There's no party without the hamstrings

2011-05-09T18:16:00.001-07:00

I was working on Ustrasana this morning when DT stopped by to suggest that I bring my legs together - just as an experiment - in order to experience the action in the legs (internal rotation). Then she said: "Extend your toes." I looked at her, then back at my toes with a stern expression. I think I also had my hands on my hips. It must have looked very much like I was 'bad-ladying' my toes because DT laughed. Then she said: "Uncurl them."

Huh?!!! But sure enough, my toes were curled up in Ustrasana! Intermediate Series is highlighting all of my unruly, rebel body parts!

Practice was just hard this morning. I felt stiff. I just can't seem to access my upper back the way DT wants me to. I briefly wondered if I my backbending is backsliding but I suspect Miss D may be raising the bar just a bit. Or maybe not, but it feels harder.

Here's an interesting problem: My hamstrings aren't 'on' in Urdhva Dhanurasana. DT pointed this out one day during assisted dropbacks. I told her my quads were buzzing and she shook her head at me. "You need to use you hamstrings more." I couldn't do it. I can *think* about engaging my hams, but when I do, nothing happens.

DT put blocks under both my feet this morning and I pressed up on top of my head. "Feel it?, she asked. "Now they're on!" But I couldn't feel *anything*. I poked at my hamstrings with my fingers. They *felt* like they were on. Even when DT removed one block, so one foot was on the floor, I couldn't feel a difference (but she could see it). Apparently my hamstrings speak Swahili.

I was mostly on my own today with the LBH poses (the room was pretty busy) so by the time I had some help in Eka Pada, I was bendier. I still can't get into Dwi Pada myself though, except against a wall, so that's what I did. DT has been taking me into Supta K from Dwi Pada.

Here's a burning question: I can lower down to Supta K on my own, but how on earth do I keep my feet from sliding down my head?

I have a feeling I know the answer: 'Engage the hamstrings.' See?There's no party without the hamstrings. Might as well go home if they don't show up!

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Sunday Social

2011-05-08T16:08:00.001-07:00

Argh, my back! It's not really hurting-hurting, there's just a lot of sensation emerging, new stuff I haven't felt before - especially in my upper back and shoulders.

I know I'm accessing my upper back in backbends more and more. I'm even accessing my upper back more in my day to day life! Standing in the kitchen stirring miso soup, I'll sometimes activate my upper back muscles and feel my chest lift up. I've been laying over those wooden backbending bridges at least once a day (usually twice), so I practice there too, reaching my arms over my head, chin to my chest to feel the lift. If I do it right, my upper back curves away from the wood bridge beneath. It's pretty awesome.

But those muscles are sore now. Last week, DT was adjusting me in Eka Pada Sirsasana and poked her knee into my right upper back. I yelped! I'm sore in so many new and different places, I'm having trouble cataloguing them all.

As of today, my 'six day Astanga week' has formally returned. DT added a Sunday Mysore to the schedule. With the Saturday Vinyasa class, this means I'm back to practising yoga every day, but that's okay because the weekend classes are social!

I love being at the shala on the weekend! It's located in a vibrant market neighbourhood. There are shops and great places to eat all around. The vegan cafe downstairs bakes fantastic muffins that I'm now addicted to. I've been hanging out at the shala after practice to chat with people and I'm having so much fun getting to know my new shalamates. DT is keen to build a sense of community in her room. I forsee many social, friendly weekends ahead of me.

Practice report: Today, I practised Intermediate Series up to Tittibhasana. Yes, more new poses. DT wanted me to add these poses with the others last week, but I decided to hold off until this week.

I found Yoga Nidrasana relatively easy. I've been practising Tittibhasana A and B before Kurmasana in Primary, so that part was simple enough. DT had to talk me through Tittibhasana C, though. I've never done that pose in any context! She encouraged me to engage my legs and wow, no kidding! If I let my legs go, I fell on my bum! It's a difficult pose, even with my super-flexible hamstrings, because it requires strength and mindfulness as well as flexiblity. I would have never guessed that, looking at it in yoga books.

Sunday Mysore starts late, so I had time for a long walk and a salt bath before I left this morning. Since the room steamy hot, I thought I would I would have a super bendy practice, but I didn't. I felt stiff and gummy. Oh well!

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First week of Intermediate

2011-05-06T14:31:00.000-07:00

I capped off my first week of Intermediate Series practice today with Primary Series. It was a relief to go back to the familiar routine of my old practice. I was curious how Primary would feel after a week of new poses and all of that uber-backbending. It felt easy and comfortable, just like an old slipper that has been well broken in - soft and pliable.

Now that my shoulder feels better, I've been adding in some of the more complex exits from poses, especially in the Marichyasanas. I couldn't resist doing a little bit of Eka Pada and Dwi Pada before my Supta K, but I generally stuck to the sequence and didn't add any backbends. Doing only three Urdhva Dhanurasana felt like cheating! ;-)

My practice this week was strenuous and challenging. Even though I'm familiar with most of these postures, it still felt like a lot for my body to process. I was exhausted at the end of every practice. I'm still repeating poses (backbends) and doing a few preps (mostly for Kapotasana and UD), but mindful not to allow my practice to overstep the 2-hour mark. Still, it kind of cracks me up that I thought my practice would be *easier* and *shorter*. Turns out, it's neither! It's just different and more challenging.

The first day, I discovered I coudn't bind anymore in Pasana. DT had to help me. By Friday, I was binding on my own again. The same was true for Krounchasana - I felt unusually stiff the first day but by mid-week, it was as deep as it always was. It's almost as if my body had to accept that fact that there would be no specific 'warm-up' for those parts of my practice and it all started to open up on its own.

Since the shoulder injury was aggravated by it, I had removed Parsva Dhanurasana from my practice for the past few months. This week, I returned to it and discovered that my knees *still* hurt when I roll to my side (this has been an ongoing problem). I asked DT about it and she watched me take the pose. It took her all of three seconds to diagnose the problem: "You're leading with your knees when you roll. You need to lead with your hips!" Simple solution. The pose doesn't hurt anymore and I can't believe the fix was so easy!

The biggest surprise of the week was discovering that I'm actually pretty flexible! DT is really happy with my progress in Kapotasana. She says my back is flexible, it's just not as strong as it needs to be. My greatest hinderance in Kapotasana is a lack of strength in my back and a lack of openness in my triceps and chest. DT added Raj Kapotasana as a preparation. I'm using a strap to grab my foot. I'm also doing some front-hip openers.

Supta Vajrasana continues to be my 'happy place' pose, even though it's involves a backbend and it's really not very comfortable. I think I love it because it's easy and obvious to access my thoracic back and doing this really makes a difference in the pose. It's good practice for me.

Bakasana A is not difficult. I've been getting help with Bakasana B - I jump to a half-handstand and DT helps me lower into the arm balance. I use that pose as an opportunity to do a few preperatory hops to handstand against the wall (I'm chuffed that handstand is sneaking back into my practice again).

Eka Pada Sirsasana and Dwi Pada Sirsasana have become deeper this week. I started using the window ledge as a 'prop' for a preparation pose. DT worked with me on the alignment of my legs, especially the leg that goes behind the head. I 'taught' myself this pose a long time ago (I've always been able to sort-of do it), but I taught myself wrong. The way I was coming into it wasn't horrible or anything, but I'm grateful to have a teacher looking after me as I learn this stuff.

The biggest shift I've observed in my practice this week wasn't in backbending, but in inversions, particularly Sirsasana. Headstand feels like an entirely different pose now, super-easy and stable, like I could stay in it forever. The change is actually quite striking and I don't know what to make of it. It was never a difficult pose for me, but it feels so much more solid now.

Princess Fur, celebrating spring with leaps and bounds (she didn't actually catch the squirrel)

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Dogma Attack

2011-05-05T15:17:00.001-07:00

After my post on Monday, I received a handful of comments on the blog. Some were warm and supportive, others were critical but fair, and there was one - just one - that was abusive, petty and meanspirited.

I know what you're thinking: I got off pretty easy, and you're probably right.

I shouldn't have let it bother me, but clearly I'm not making as much progress on the old 'don't-take-things-personally' Samskara as I should be. I don't get a lot of hate mail. The comment deeply hurt me, particularly since (though it was written 'anonymously') I knew exactly who wrote it.

I've been hunkered down, mulling this whole thing over. For a day or two, I was pretty sure I would shut down the blog. Between my practice and teaching, I really don't have the energy for this kind of drama. I considered blogging privately. I flirted around with the idea of writing about cheesy 70s television, or Cute Things Princess Fur Does.

But I have a feeling that's not what you, the 500+ readers who quietly surf and absorb and lurk without judgement, are here for. You're here to read about yoga. And that's what I forgot about in all the mental static around the Rude Comment. All of you outnumber 'anonymous' by a wide, wide margin and I've found friendship and a genuine sense of connection in the 'Cybershala.'

And as isolated as I was feeling, I was reminded that I'm no longer in this alone. My teacher not only reads my blog, but she and her partner are unconditionally supportive of my writing. They've made it clear that I can blog freely about my practice, both the positive and the negative. They trust me to be fair and honest in my writing.

Many of my shalamates read too. A few have blogs of their own. I'm realising that I'm in a very different place than I was a year ago when I was practising at Shala Central.

But I think I need to make something clear to all of you who read this: My practice has changed a LOT in the past few months and I'm no longer doing what could be described as a 'traditional' practice. One of you remarked about my split: 'That's not the way it's done.' I know that. I'm doing things differently and I'm comfortable with that.

For the time being, you can expect to read about a practice that's more 'criminal' than 'traditional'. This shouldn't be a great shock to anyone, it's pretty much been the way I've always rolled. Think about it: I 'gave' myself the Primary Series, in its entirety, learned from books and DVDs. I've always used props and preparation poses in my home practice (and I know some of you do too!).

I should probably mention that when I visit a traditional room, I'll always respect the rules of the teacher. During my recent visit with DR at Shala North, I practised the Primary Series from start to finish with no embellishments or added poses. It's a privelege to be a visitor in a Mysore room and I'll always honour that.

I had an entire post composed in my head about dogma, but the bottom line is, we're all grown-ups and we get to choose our yoga practice. If we're smart about it, we choose a practice that makes us stronger, keeps us safe from injury and - this is an important point - helps us to become kinder, more loving, compassionate people. If a more dogmatic practice does that for you, terrific! It wasn't doing it for me, so I'm making a different choice.

I don't knock anyone for thinking differently, I just don't support a fundmentalist attitude with holier-than-thou ashtangis going around attacking others for lacking 'purity' in their practice or warning of dire consequences if others don't follow 'the rules.'

Someone implied that by taking Intermediate Series before standing up from a backbend, I was endangering myself. I'm not worried. I've been practising yoga in the lineage of Krishnamarcharya (Iyengar yoga, classical Hatha, Anusara and Astanga) for close to 16 years. I've been doing most of these postures 'out of sequence' for a long time. I think I'll be fine.

There are many, many ways to practise yoga. I don't believe there's one 'right way'. I'm finding the 'right way' for me. If that resonates with you, keep reading.

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Fart-o-maniac and the Split

2011-05-02T14:39:00.001-07:00

Today was a great day at the shala! There's finally mat storage: Hallelujah! Also: I'm *finally* split!!!

This morning, I split from Primary and took six new Intermediate poses. From now on, I'll practise Intermediate Series through Dwi Pada Sirsasana every day (except Fridays - I'll stick with the tradition and go back to Primary Series on that day).

This wasn't a surprise - DT and I discussed it at length and came to the decision together. My practice has been very long, sometimes in excess of 2.5 hours (now that I'm recieving adjustments and instruction, it takes much longer than it did at home). Grinding through an hour or more of forward bends every day just wasn't serving me anymore. My hamstrings are long enough! What I really need is more backbending.

For the benefit of my non-Astanga readers, I should probably back up and explain more clearly what a 'split' is. Here's an analogy: Think of an Oreo cookie, two chocolate wafers with some sweet white filling in between. The first chocoate wafer is Surya Namaskara A and B (sun salutations) and the fundamental standing poses. Everyone does these, even if they're working on fifth series. The white filling depends on what you've been given so far by your teacher. The second chocolate wafer is backbends (Urdhva Dhanurasana) and closing poses (shoulderstand, et al).

Everyone who practises Msyore-style begins with a little bit of Primary Series. Most start with just a smear of the white filling (and maybe only part of a chocolate wafer on each end). The teacher gradually adds more and more until there's a full cookie (the full Primary Series!). Intermediate Series is then added pose by pose, in addition to Primary. After awhile, it becomes a bit like an Oreo 'doublestuff' cookie - it's a lot of yoga.

Eventually, the cookie gets *too* big. That's where I was at. With the split, I'm back to two chocolate wafers with about half the amount of filling I had before. It's more manageable.

Most of the 'new' poses I was given today are not new-to-me. I've been working on the LBH poses in the context of Primary for weeks, Bakasana (an arm balance) and the twists are easy for me.

The only place I truly felt out of my depth was in Supta Vajrasana. I've never done this pose before! And I love it!!! It's my new favourite thing :-)

Bakasana B is challenging. It's basically a handstand into Bakasana. I used to do a lot of handstand in my Anusara practice. When DT asked me to hop into a handstand with legs tucked, I faltered. But I knew *exactly* what was going on. I even said out loud: "I need to turn off my brain!" As soon as I did, I went right up! But the core strength to lower into the arm balance isn't there yet. That will be a project. DT helped me today and it was fine.

Yoga Nidrasana and Tittibhasana are waiting patiently in the wings. DT wants me to add those soon. I sometimes do Tittibhasana as a preparation to Kurmasana, so it won't be a stretch.

In theory, this change was supposed to *shorten* my practice and make it easier. In reality, it took 2 hours from start to finish (in part because I repeated a few of the backbends). It completely exhausted me. I was pretty disoriented moving through the new stuff.

It felt very odd to go right into Pasasana from Parvottanasana! And it was hard! Actually, everything was difficult. I felt cold and stiff and wondered if I would ever warm up. But by the time I hit Bhekasana, I was sweating profusely. I was running out of steam in the LBH poses.

I was relieved (and exhausted) when I finished Dwi Pada Sirsasana. Then I remembered: I still needed to do Urdhva Dhanurasana and dropbacks! Would you like some backbends with your backbends? ;-) I think it will feel easier tomorrow, now that I've been through it once.

********************
I had a funny moment as I finished my practice. I was jumping my lotus back after Uth Plutihi, when I emitted a sudden, high-decibel fart that sounded *exactly* like one of Princess Fur's 'squeaky toys'. It was so dramatic that for a moment, a profound silence hung over the room. Then everyone busted out laughing.

I love the fact that in my new shala, weird and embarassing body noises are a cause of hilarity and shared laughter, instead of humiliation. :-D

In the spirit of the moment, one of my shalamates offered this tidbit: In the 19th century, a Frenchman named Joseph Pujol travelled the world performing as a Flatulist (a professional farter). He called himself 'Le Pétomane', which roughly translates as "fart-o-maniac".

According to Wikipedia, some of the highlights of his performance included recreating the effects of cannon fire and thunderstorms, as well as serenading the audience with moving renditions of "'O Sole Mio" and "La Marseillaise".

Also, this: "It is a common misconception that Joseph Pujol actually passed intestinal gas as part of his stage performance. Rather, Pujol was able to "inhale" or move air into his rectum and then control the release of that air with his anal sphincter muscles."

In other words, SQUEEZE YOUR ANUS! Dude had Mula Madskillz! So I guess I really *am* using my Bandhas!

Joseph Pujol

(image source: Wikipedia)

As I turned to leave, I said to the room: "Of course, you guys know, I'm TOTALLY gonna blog this, right?" :-D

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Weekend Yoga Adventures!

2011-05-01T16:06:00.001-07:00

Ten years ago, a friend and I compiled a list of 100 things that were awesome and unique about our city. I think the 'vomit comet' was number 57. This is a nickname for the northbound night bus that carries drunken club-goers back to their northern suburbs. It's apparently...ahem!...quite the experience!

I've never taken the 'vomit comet' before, but this morning I decided to give it a go because I wanted to drop in to DR's Mysore room at Shala North at 7 a.m.

I left with plenty of time to spare. In fact, I was at the bus stop by 6:10. Good thing, too - because the bus didn't come. And the next bus didn't come. A half-hour later, a bus passed by, but it didn't stop because it was packed full. The next one didn't stop either.

Mysteriously, the 'vomit comet' was packed with leggy people adorned in brightly-coloured track suits, fit-looking, clutching water bottles. I was perplexed. What happend to the 'club scene'? Where were all the stoned ravers and drunk teenagers?

The mystery solved itself when a middle-aged, stringy gentleman in a bright turquoise track suit approached our bus stop, water bottle in hand. There were three of us waiting and we gazed at him curiously. He was friendly. He explained that the buses were full because a 10K race was starting in an hour. Aha! Mystery solved!

The four of us pooled our resources and grabbed the next taxi north. After waiting in the cold for almost an hour, I arrived at Shala North around 7 a.m., just as I had intended, so it all worked out in the end!

I had the nicest practice in DR's room! I'm genuinely fond of him and his assistants are really terrific. This is a 'traditional room' so I didn't do any of the extras or prep work I've been adding in lately. It was a bit different doing my 'standard issue' Primary Series again, without the extras (correct vinyasa!). But I didn't skip any poses.

I noticed that the poses came easier than I remembered, especially Supta K. I came into it the regular way, without the LBH stuff beforehand. An assistant helped me cross my feet. I used to struggle to bind in this one, but I bound easily this morning. And crossing my ankles actually felt comfortable! The Marichyasanas felt great - DT has really been working me in these and it showed. Every bind was easy and I felt tall instead of all scrunched.

DR worked with me on dropbacks and standing. My legs were already sore from the work I had done this week with DT, so it was *challenging*, but fun. DR is really good at taking me right up to the edge of my strength. He made me work hard to stand up! At one point, I was pressing up on my fingertips, working my legs until they quivered like jelly! I'm sure I'll feel that tomorrow!

Then I got a genuine, full-on Paschimo squish, which was awesome. I really miss those!

On Saturday, I went to my teacher DT's vinyasa class. Every week, she blows my mind a little bit by asking me to do something unusual or (seemingly) impossible. This week, she brought us into Gomuhkasana and on the exit, asked us to lift into a tripod headstand with our legs still twisted together.

My immediate reaction was: "You want me to do WHAT?!!!!" I can do a regular tripod headstand and I can even twist my legs together once I'm up there. But for some reason, twisty legs weigh about *kazillion* pounds! Eek!

I didn't have a lot of time to think about it though, so of course, I just DID it and it was fine. But holy smokes! HEAVY!

On Friday night, I went to the 'Gong Show' Bikram community class. A new-to-me teacher was leading. I've decided to call her 'Hazlenut' (I name all the Hot Central teachers after nuts). I liked her class a lot - Hazlenut's pacing was very good.

Even though I'm only doing Bikram classes periodically, it's getting easier and easier. I have a theory: my Astanga practice is SO long and difficult right now, it makes hot yoga feel like a very warm, sweaty vacation. Think about it: the class is only 90 minutes and I get to take rest between nearly every pose! Compared to my morning practice which is 2.5 hours and I go-go-go!

I noticed two interesting things in particular during this Bikram class: My hips are now VERY open in Pavan Muktasana. I can bring my knee to my shoulder! And backbending is comfortable and fun, especially Ustrasana, which used to be my 'nemesis pose'. Now I love it! Yay!

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Droppity Drop

2011-04-29T16:30:00.000-07:00

Aaaaand dropbacks are back! This morning, I was waiting for assisted dropbacks but the room was pretty busy, so I amused myself by doing hangbacks as I waited. I was hanging back, thinking: "Gee, the floor doesn't seem SO far away this morning." So I dropped. And again, and again.

Hurray!!!

The landings were light enough that my wrists didn't hurt and best of all, my right shoulder felt fine! It's been better and better this week. I'm doing vinyasas between poses again and adding various transitions to my practice.

During assisted dropbacks, DT let me drop all the way down to the floor, full weight in my hands and stay there for a breath before coming back up. It's harder to stand when I stay put for any amount of time, but really nice to feel the deep backbend.

Also of note, my left hamstring is fully recovered from the injury last July. I'm no longer limited in any forward bends, Krounchasana included. It's still my less flexible side, but that was always the case.

I suspect the dropbacks came back because I'm now doing the 'traditional' entrance into Kapotasana, dropping my hands to the floor (when I first added the pose, I was pressing up from the floor, from Supta Virasana).

I haven't talked a lot about Kapotasana. I've been doing it for two weeks. There's really not much to say about Kapo. It kind of falls into the same category as root canals and getting your fingernails ripped off with plyers. It's really, really hard and I'm really, really bad at it. I'm getting better, for sure, but it's abysmal, really.

The other 'big event' this week was the Dwi Pada entrance into Supta Kurmasana. I've been getting help with this every day. But again, the room was busy on Thursday, so I tried to come into it myself. I didn't quite get it, but close! I gave it a few tries, then came into Supta K my usual way and damn, it's deeper than I remember! This morning, I used the wall to steady myself and I got it! I lowered into Supta K and even lifted myself up for the exit!

Considering that I pretty much had to force myself to go to practice on Monday (I was feeling miserable that morning), this yoga week has been pretty epic!

Since I'm blogging more regularly, I thought I would reimplement 'Princess Fur Friday' and feature a weekly dog photo. Here the Princess, snuggled with her favourite toy, which she picked out herself at the petstore when she was a few months old.

She slept through the royal wedding. And I think I was probably in the middle of the Surya Namaskaras as Kate walked down the aisle. *bigyawn*

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Return of the Dropbacks

2011-04-26T09:37:00.001-07:00

Holy smokes! I did assisted dropbacks and stood up today! This is a *really* big deal for me! And it wasn't planned at all. DT spotted me doing hangbacks (which I started doing yesterday on my own, thinking it was a logical step towards regaining my dropbacks) and asked me if I wanted some help.

It's probably a *good* thing that I didn't see it coming. Longtime readers will recall that I've had a troubled history with this stuff, *especially* with standing up.

~begin historical recap~
At Shala Central (my old shala), dropping back wasn't taught until a student stood up (or at least, that's the way it went for me). I experienced a lot of fear and drama around learning to stand up from a backbend. Eventually, the teachers gave up trying to teach me and I gave up trying to learn. I felt like the shala 'problem child'. The whole experience left me bit traumatized and overly cautious.

I believed it simply wasn't do-able, even with help. During a workshop at Shala North, DR took me aside and encouraged me to try. With his assistance, I stood up easily from Urdhva Dhanurasana. Couldn't believe it! But I couldn't manage it on my own.

I was very keen to drop back though. Last summer, I taught myself how to drop back by working against a steep hill in my favourite park. I sealed the deal by dropping back to the 'scary floor' in one of DR's backbending workshops a few weeks later. For awhile, dropbacks were a regular part of my practice (and I was standing up from the futon for spell too).

After I was given Intermediate Series in August, I found out that D&J don't teach dropbacks in their shala until a student masters Kapotasana, so I shelved the whole project and decided to focus on deepening my backbends for awhile. Then I injured my shoulder and it became a moot point.
~ends historical recap~

I explained to DT that it had been about 6 months since I dropped back on my own and I'm 'not very good at standing up.' This was the Understatement of the Year. As far as I'm concerned, I'm the poster child for 'not standing up'!

DT proposed using a strap, which is new to me, but I decided to trust her and give it a go. I mean, what's the worst thing that could happen? Fall on my head? Done that! Make an ass of myself? Old news! Crumple into a miserable heap! I'm a pro! I figured that anything that didn't involve me crying in Savasana would be a 'win'.

DT helped me drop back very lightly and helped me stand up three times. No drama, no fear, no problem! (I know, I know! All that build-up and it turned out to be so...undramatic).

So I've been floating around in a happy backbending bubble all morning. All the other 'home practice people' will nod sagely when I say this, but here it is: practice is SO much easier with help! Daily help, not occasional workshop help. Getting consistent daily feedback and assistance is amazing. It *is* possible to learn these poses on your own (that's how I learned the Primary Series), but it's much harder and slower and more painful.

I'm so very grateful for the help!

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Holidays and Epic Naps

2011-04-24T16:03:00.000-07:00

I've been in 'holiday mode' for the past several days. Still practising and even teaching a bit, but everything downshifted for the combined Jewish Holidays and Easter.

Easter Friday/Monday is a big deal in this town. Most business are shut down, though the restaurants and movie theatres do a brisk trade. With Passover, there was a nice convergence of holidays, which meant 6 days off my regular schedule.

I spent much of it baking and taking marathon naps, sitting in the window seat reading (I read four books) and taking Princess Fur on epic walks around the neighbourhood (the weather was beautiful on the weekend). I also ate more chocolate than was probably good for me, had a couple good lie-ins, and even watched television!

And I practised. On Friday, I was still on LH, so I did full Primary without the closing inversions. I felt sluggish, but happy to be there. I just took everything at a slower pace. My practice took a full two hours, despite skipping Intermediate.

DT decided this would be the perfect day to crack down on my sloppy Chaturanga (and she's got a point - my Chaturanga needs work). She walked over just as I was doing a lotus jumpback and proceeded to 'bootcamp' me.

First, she showed me what I was doing incorrectly. I went through the paces in a regular Chaturanga, trying to clean things up. Then I applied this new-found information to my lotus jumpback.

Hilarity ensued: I couldn't even lift up! I managed to shove my legs behind me with a mighty grunt, then I flopped gracelessly on my stomach. DT and I had a good chuckle and now I'm back to doing lotus jumpbacks pretty much the same way I was before (baby steps!). I think my Chaturanga must be evolving though, because my triceps hurt in a new way.

On Saturday, I went to DT's vinyasa class again. This class is turning out to be very good idea. I look forward to it because it's challenging. I'm really the slow kid in this class!

When DT teaches something new-to-me (and she seems to each week), I always give it a go. Then, I rest on my belly (or my head, or my arm - whichever part I've just crash-landed on) and watch almost everyone else hold the pose gracefully for a full five counts. There's a whole world of arm balances that I'm not yet able to do and for some reason, this is very reassuring to me.

During my holiday, I managed to do just one productive thing: clip Princess Fur. She looks great, but it took hours of cuddles afterward and a few strategic treats to get her out of her grump! Here she is, mid-clip:

The Princess is MOST displeased!
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Energy Crash

2011-04-21T16:16:00.001-07:00

In the middle of practice yesterday I had what can only be described as an 'energy crash'. Once minute, I was fine - cruising through the first half of the Primary Series and the next, I felt like I wanted to curl up and go to sleep.

I rallied for the Marichyasanas, skipped Navasana entirely and went right into Bhujapidasana. I took a short break to stretch my legs and started my mid-practice 'LBH festival' (for the non-ashtangis in my reading audience, LBH=Leg Behind Head). I can't believe I got through it, but I was determined!

Then I totally checked out and took child's pose for about three minutes. DT came over and gave me a sympathetic squish. I decided, right then, that I would skip my Intermediate poses and opt for something more restful. So I finished up Primary and closing, then put my legs up a wall in Viparita Karani. I practically fell asleep taking rest!

It was my stupid LH! Argh!!! It *totally* snuck up on me. With daily yoga practice, subtle changes in energy levels can seem huge. Usually, I can pinpoint the *exact* instant those nasty LH hormones started coursing through my body. But this time, it was like someone suddenly opened the floodgates and BHAM!

The last time I was practising regularly at a shala, I dreaded my LH because it meant that I was stuck at home for practice. I always felt out of it and out of my routine, and a little bit like an outcast. One of the AWESOME benefits of this room is that I don't necessarily have to do a strict, by-the-book Astanga practice all the time. I can do a modified practice!

That's what I did today. I dropped DT a note to let her know what was up and arrived at my regular time. I went through the suryas, then did the fundamental standing poses, skipping the twists (but repeating Trikonasana and Parsvakonasana two times). I did Uttita Hasta Padangusthasana then moved into some seated poses including the non-Astanga Eka Pada Raj Kapotanasana. I did a few restorative/Yin poses, put my legs up a wall for a bit, and took rest. It took about 90 minutes.

I moved through this practice at a more leisurely pace, especially the standing poses. I was approaching the poses Iyengar-style and taking longer holds. On a typical day, I've buzzed through my standing poses by the time DT comes in to start teaching. Today, she had a chance to give me lots of alignment feedback and it was great! These poses often don't get a lot of 'love' from me. Today I was truly enjoying them! Before taking up Astanga, I practised this way (Iyengar-style) for almost 12 years. It was like coming home to a comfortable place in my practice.

It gave me some food for thought. I enjoyed this so much and I felt SO good afterwards. I'm now wondering if I should designate one day a week to be a 'slow practice day' so I can focus more deeply on my standing poses and breath and maybe add a few restorative poses at the end. Friday might be a good day for that, if I stuck to Primary only.

I left the shala completely blissed out and happy, even though I was feeling rotten physically.

I have some time off this weekend for the Easter/Passover break. My holiday actually started yesterday afternoon and my regular schedule doesn't kick in again until Tuesday evening. So far, I've been sleeping a LOT and catching up on reading. I have a pile of books I'd like to get to, more 'Little House and the Prairie' to watch, plus Princess Fur needs a hair cut. I'm teaching two classes, planning to go to a couple too! It will be a fun weekend.

Enjoy yours!

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Flying Pigs, Flying Partridges

2011-04-19T18:11:00.001-07:00

I'm starting to feel very settled into the new shala. I feel like my new teacher has become familiar with my practice and is prioritizing adjustments to help me learn. I feel comfortable with the people practising around me. I've developed a new routine and getting up early doesn't feel like torture anymore.

I'm finding SO much joy in having shalamates again! Because talking is allowed in this shala, there's more noise, but also more laughter. There's a genuine sense of connection and fun in the room. This was rare in the last shala I regularly practised at, but it's become common in this one and I like it!

Because the shala is new, we've all had a role in creating its 'culture'. Of course the teacher sets the tone and DT has set a nice one. More than one shalamate has described the atmosphere of this room as very nuturing, almost 'motherly' (in the best sense of the word). I look forward to going there. The presence of my shalamates and their bright energy makes the difficult parts of my practice feel more do-able.

I think DT has done a good job of supporting the wide variety of practitioners who have walked in her door. Diverse practices are welcome, but she's very respectful of those of us who are more traditional. She makes suggestions, but she never pushes. More than once, I've sensed a 'thought bubble' over her head that read: "Gee, this pose could really use a prop!" But I rarely use props, and she always asks before she uses them with me.

During my first days, I had a little bit of fun adding and changing poses in my practice just because I *could*. There was more than a little bit of rebellion at work there, I suspect. ;-) Once the novelty wore off, I started adding poses more strategically. Although I came in the door determined to retain my traditional practice, I've definitely become more open as time has passed.

During the first week, I added Supta Virasana as a preparation for Bhekasana. I lost that pose during my shoulder injury and needed to lengthen my quads. It worked - I'm able to do the pose now and DT has started giving me the adjustment to go deeper.

My adventures with the Dwi Pada entrance into Supta K have been fun, but sometimes difficult. Early last week, it occurred to me that it might be easier to do Dwi Pada Sirsasana if I did a little bit of Eka Pada Sirsasana *first*.

DT spotted the change, and the next day, she adjusted me deeper on each side and helped me hold for five breaths. Then she encouraged me to do the forward fold and after I came up from that, she helped me do this thing where I lift my extended leg and try to push up onto my hands. I wasn't sure what was up with that, but it turns out that it's Chakorasana from the third series.

Photo credit: ashtangahyoga.info

Cool! Oddly enough, now that I kind of know what it looks like, I'll probably have an easier time doing it. I looked up the English translation. According to Matthew Sweeney, it's the 'Patridge Posture'. Not to be confused with the 'Patridge Family' (though that DIDN'T stop me from scouring the internet for photos of the Partidge Family doing yoga. No dice.)

So LBH poses are now a daily part of my practice and I love them and hate them simultaneously. I kind of dread Supta K now, but once I'm there, it's exciting and challenging, developing new skills for my body to do this new thing.

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Buying Bridges

2011-04-18T13:08:00.000-07:00

The Yoga Conference was this past weekend. I'd love to have a little chat with the genuis who thought that a FULL MOON weekend would be a great time to bring together 800+ yoga practitioners, pack them into small, irregularly-shaped rooms for 6-8 hours a day, while doing intensive yoga practices that many of them are unaccustomed to.

People were BATSHIT CRAZY! The teachers I studied with were warm and enthusiastic and I thoroughly enjoyed the sessions I attended. But by the end of the weekend, I was ready to *strangle* a few of my co-participants. After the last workshop on Sunday night, I couldn't get out of that convention centre fast enough!

The weather didn't help. On Saturday morning, the cold driving rain was such a misery that I ditched the early afternoon sessions in favour of a hot bath at home. On Sunday, I biked to the convention centre in SNOW flurries because the subway wasn't open.

In the past, I've sourced a free ticket to the Yoga Show and attended free classes in the 'yoga garden'. These classes are brief - 30 minutes - but many Yoga Conference workshop presenters are represented. This was a good strategy for 'shopping' around for teachers I liked. This year, I ponied up the money to attend a few workshops and a 2-hour class at the conference.

The class was with Vinyasa Yoga's Goddess of Awesome Hair, Seane Corn. 'Shakti Flow' was billed as an Intermediate/Advanced class and I give huge props to Seane for honouring that. It was a fast-paced, challenging class and I really enjoyed it. I found Seane's teaching clear and intuitive. Sometimes, 'conference teachers' can come across as self-absorbed assholes. Not Seane. She had great energy: open-hearted, humble and funny. I got the impression she would be a pleasure to chat with over coffee. Bonus: She taught the vinyasa exit out of Vasisthasana so effectively that I was able to do it practically on my first try. Her demo of it was beautiful!

The workshops I attended were all with Natasha Rizopolous. When I sampled her sessions at the 'yoga garden' over past years, I struck by how well-organised and knowledgeable she was. I *always* came away learning something new about teaching. She was able to present a coherent and useful 'mini-class' in 30 minutes which is really no small feat in that chaotic venue. I was also touched by her generosity - she spent significant time chatting with me last year about some issues that had come up in my teaching and her advice was very helpful.

I signed up for three of her workshops, specifically geared toward teachers. Though the workshops were very basic in the level of the asana covered, the information was invaluable for my teaching (particularly the workshop on sequencing). Because our teaching styles are similar, Natasha's cueing and sequencing ideas deeply resonated with me. She uses language masterfully! I scribbled many of her cues verbatim into my notebook because I absolutely love the way she puts words together. Her cues are clear, simple and effective.

She's also an incredibly lovely person, as energetic and genuine in her last workshop as she was in her first. Plus, she quoted the yoga sutras (in Sanskrit), which is like the awesome icing on the awesome cake! ;-)

I also did quite a bit of shopping at the show this year, mostly for clothing, which I desperately needed. My favourite find was silk wrap-around skirts made in India from old saris. Perfect to wear over yoga crops, which I pretty much live in on a day-to-day basis, but cute enough to wear out on the town too. I've long been a fan of Halfmoon's Bambusa Stoles. I wear the black one I purchased last year almost daily. I bought two more in pretty colours this year.

After three years of casting a covetous eye as I passed the Health Bridges booth, I finally broke down and bought myself a set. It was a HUGE purchase for me. I normally don't spring for stuff like this. These 'backbending bridges' target different areas of the back. They're beautifully constructed out of Canadian hardwood and came highly recommended. So far, I'm *loving* them.

The second morning I tried them (I'm using Bridge #1 for 10 minutes and Bridge #2 for 5 minutes), I sat for meditation afterward and my entire spine was *tingling*. After two days of use, my back is achy in a wonderfully good way. Bridge #1 already feels like a good session of restorative yoga (last night, I fell asleep on it) but Bridge #2 makes me twitchy after five minutes. I can *really* feel it in my upper back.

I'll be sure to report back if these have any measurable effect on my backbending.

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Groundhog Day

2011-04-13T18:10:00.001-07:00

As the days pass, my shalamates and I are falling into comfortable patterns of practice. I know that I'm on schedule if I'm starting my second series as another shalamate is moving on with her finishing. From my Urdhva Dhanurasana, a shalamate behind me is taking Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana (Driste drift, but it keeps me on course).

And if I finish taking rest by 8:20 and leave the shala by 8:30, the following events are almost guaranteed to unfold, with graceful regularity:

-As I turn north on a residential street near the shala, an old Italian lady is walking her white maltese on leash, heading south. Both look slightly rumpled, but eager and happy.

-As I ride up the side street next to the grocery store, I will see one of my youth yoga students waiting on the sidewalk. Her mother coaxes her little brother out of his booster seat. The child cranes her neck around, looking for my orange mat bag and grins when she spots me.

-As I turn east into my own neighbourhood, my two gaybours with their young twin sons are walking west to school. Each man holds a child's hand and the little boys skip, swing and hop their way down the sidewalk, crackling with energy.

-When I approach my front door, the fourth floor neighbour is walking out with his bicycle. I hold the door for him, then he holds the door for me. We nod politely to one another.

-And finally, Princess Fur and I go to the park for our morning walk. We always see the white-haired lady wearing a denim shirt, walking her golden retriever.

For the past three days, these events have occurred, one after the other, so predictably that I'm a little freaked out by it. But I'm also comforted.

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Figureheads and Frogs

2011-04-12T18:08:00.001-07:00

Nice practice this morning. I felt a *little* less like I was frozen in carbonite. ;-)

One of the many joys of the past week-and-a-bit have been the adjustments in Intermediate Series. These poses were given to me after I left Shala Central and returned to my home practice. I wasn't in Montreal long enough to really 'settle into' the new stuff, so I didn't get any intense adjustments there.

As my shoulder has continued to heal, I've reintroduced elements of my practice. It's been a couple of months since I did full Bhekasana. I've been doing the pose one side at a time. Last week, I started flirting with the full pose and yesterday, decided to go full throttle.

And I got the adjustment, OMG the adjustment! Intermediate Series friends gave me the heads up this one. I don't what it LOOKS like, but I can now tell you that it FEELS just like this:

Cue: Angels singing. "LAAAAAAAA"

Joy!

Other things that made me smile today:

-Taking not one, but TWO naps today. My noon class cancelled, so I even had time for a long walk. And tonight, I'm going to bed on time. I'll get 8 hours sleep. The awesomeness!!!

-The guy standing near me on the streetcar tonight. He was having an animated conversation with Jesus. Oblivious to the stares from the uncomfortable cloud of commuters around him, he closed his eyes and continued to fervently make his case. Loudly. He was still at it when I exited at the subway station. Hey, if you're gonna fly your freak flag, then wave it PROUD!

-The way Princess Fur's ears flop up and down when she runs. Reminds me of when she was a puppy and my heart melts a little bit every time.

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I need a shoe horn

2011-04-11T18:12:00.001-07:00

I always emerge from my Sunday 'day off' feeling stiff and gummy. Today, I felt like this:

I'm *not* going to blame the Indian buffet I went to on Sunday. Nope! No siree...

Practice was two-and-a-half hours this morning. I tried to move through the first part of my practice more efficiently, aware of the inevitable slow-down starting in the Marichyasanas.

The Maris are now *work*. Hard work. There is SO much to think about in these poses. I can bind to wrist throughout, even on my 'bad side' of Marichyasana D (okay, with help - the shoulder is still a bit cranky). But...I'm now trying to wrap my brain around muscle engagement, energy movement and *lift*.

Today, as I moved into Mari C, I made a mental note to reread Blakey's book, 'The Body Has a Mind of Its Own.' This book explores the brain-body connection and explores the neurological dimensions of muscle memory.

I tried the Dwi Pada entrance to Supta K on my own today. 'Tried' is the operative word here. The reality? *legflail*

I think it was good for me to flop around a bit and see how far I could get on my own before DT swooped in for the rescue. The first challenge is getting my left leg to STAY while I coax my right leg behind my shoulder. The second obstacle is my HUGE right calf muscle, which always gets in the way. DT shoved it aside for me today and the image of a shoe horn suddenly popped into my head.

I was stiff all over today and my practice reflected this. Hopefully, things will loosen up as the week goes on.

********************
In my second week back at the shala, I'm continuing to adjust to the 5 a.m. wakeup call, the longer practices and some *dramatic* post-practice weariness. A new weekly routine is starting to form, with afternoon naps on the days I teach late into the evening and meals coordinated around my practice.

By the end of last week, I was exhausted. On Friday, I came home from teaching my last class of the day and passed out COLD for two-and-a-half hours. Then I got up and went to the 8pm Bikram Karma class (the one I like to call the 'Gong Show'). Macadamia was teaching and it was good fun. After a week of intense practices, Bikram's felt like a good massage!

On Saturday, I returned to my home practice in the morning, doing a light Primary Series. It felt so strange to be back in my own space! DT offers a level 2 vinaysa class in the afternoon and it's included in my monthly pass. It was interesting to see DT teach in a different context. She teaches a great led class, I really enjoyed it.

Princess Fur is not adjusting to this new routine willingly. In fact, she is *incredibly* offended that I've taken my yoga practice off-site, where she's unable to properly supervise! When I walked in the door this morning, she greeted me stiffly, then marched to her little basket, turned around three times and decisively curled up with her *back* to me.

I'm a bad lady! ;-)

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Best yoga week EVER!

2011-04-09T18:28:00.001-07:00

This was not the easiest winter for my practice, as some of you may have gathered from my infrequent and sulky posts. I was not enjoying Astanga.

All winter, I've been mentally toying with the idea of quitting. Not quitting yoga entirely, but quitting Astanga. But while I was thinking about it, I kept practising. It often felt like I was just going through the motions, but until I came up with a better option, I just continued doing my practice.

To say that the new shala opened in the nick of time isn't an exageration. I was a heartbeat away from signing up for another 30 days at that Bikram studio (they're having a '30-day challenge' this month and that tickled my competition bone). A senior Anusara teacher I used to study with opened his own studio, so I was investigating a monthly option there too. I was just fed up with my home practice, weary of struggling along on my own, feeling uninspired and disheartened.

The first few days at Shala Local, I felt cautious. Nearly everyone else in that room had some connection with Shala South and I've had some negative experiences there (to be clear, my feelings of caution had nothing to do with the other *people* in the room; I just needed to shrug off the patina of my own past experiences). By day two, I was warming up to my shalamates and by day three, I started to feel genuinely comfortable. My new shalamates are awesome people, every last one - friendly and welcoming. There's a supportive, nurturing energy in that room.

During my first days, DT offered a few adjustments, but mostly she stepped back and observed my practice. This was fine because I was orienting myself and getting my head wrapped around the idea that I'm actually allowed to TALK and ask questions. DT must have wondered if I was mute the first day or two, because I barely spoke in the Mysore room, even if spoken to (this is an old habit from Shala Central, where we were discouraged from speaking).

By day three, I was interacting more fully in adjustments and even asking questions if something confused me. One of the awesome things about DT is that she has a strong background in anatomy because she's an RMT. She speaks my favourite language: 'Anatomy Geek'!

The first time she told me to engage my gluteus medius, my jaw dropped a little bit. I've never had a Mysore teacher (apart from D & J) be SO specific (And it totally worked, too!). The next time she adjusted me in Marichyasana C, instructing me to move from the side body, I asked her which muscle group was involved. The paraspinals! Hurrah! Everything started making sense. Now if something is unclear, I just ask. Easy!

By day four, I wasn't going limp like road kill whenever she approached me for an adjustment. Once I'd figured out that she wasn't just going to 'balloon-animal' me into a posture, I became more involved in the process. It feels like a team effort with DT, and since I understand what's going on, I'm more likely to try to replicate it on my own the next time I do the pose.

After just a few days of observing me, she totally zeroed in on the weak areas of my practice and was offering specific instruction and adjustments. *cough*backbending*cough* She gave me a mini-tutorial on Upward Dog that has totally changed the way I approach the posture.

I'm *finally* connecting with the actions needed to open up my upper back. I notice it everywhere now, from hangbacks to Matsyasana. I'm learning so much! It sometimes feels like I'm getting my own personal workshop! My Chaturanga needs some serious help too and I have a feeling DT will be the one to finally fix it.

She also recognises my strengths and has been helping me move deeper in a few specific postures. Supta K is now the *highlight* of my practice. After a couple days of epic adjustments that felt AWESOME, she asked me if I had ever tried coming into the pose from Dwi Pada (Inspired by my friend Boodiba, I played around with that last year, but gave up because I wasn't getting help).

I pulled my left leg behind my head and she helped me deepen that, then supported me while I got the other leg behind. When I cross my ankles behind my head it was the *weirdest* feeling!!! Then I lowered down and was able to get a good bind right away.

I'm still shaking my head over this. It was amazing! This is what I've been missing - the feeling that Astanga is just the *coolest thing ever* because the impossible becomes possible. In that moment, as I lifted myself out of Supta K for the exit, every cell of my body was grinning.

And this pretty much sums up my week!

Last week, I was flying through my practice, trying to break new speed records ("Hey! I clocked in under 60 minutes in the Primary Series! WHOOSH!"). By the end of THIS week, I had slowed WAY down. My practices now take up to 2-and-a-half hours because I'm spending more time in Up Dog in vinyasas, repeating some of the second series backbends and taking more time for Urdhva Dhanurasana and hangbacks. I've added a preparation pose for Kapotasana. I can feel my body responding to the work I'm doing.

But to be honest, it's also taking longer because I'm loving my practice again and I don't want to leave the room. I'd much rather practise than surf the web, or sit in the window seat reading a magazine, or watch DVDs. This is a huge shift!

I realise that this flush of enthusiasm will likely fade with routine and repetition, but for now, I'll take it. Because right now, I'm about as far away from quitting my Astanga practice as I could possibly be. I'm back in the cult! ;-)

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OwMyQuads

2011-04-05T17:35:00.001-07:00

Ouch! New teacher, new places to feel sore. I'm really feeling it in my quads and also in my core/obliques in a big way. DT focuses a lot on the obliques in twists. I've been getting a lot of feedback and adjustments in the Marichyasanas.

I was able to bind to wrist on both sides of Mari D again today. It's so much easier with help! There's a lot going on in my shoulders. The cues are interesting for this one. DT asked me to drop the shoulders while simultaneously pulling the elbows down and toward the centre line. The twisting action originates from the sidebody (specifically, the side furthest from the bent leg).

It's a different way of working, but it works, it gets me there. I'm growing accustomed to staying in these poses for a LONG time while she works with me.

DT's approach to adjustment is interesting. I feel like I'm a piece of clay being shaped and smoothed, pushing and releasing specific points (rather than a balloon animal being twisted and moved around). Usually in an adjustment, I hold still, breathe and try not to get in the way of the teacher, it's a more passive experience. But DT's adjustments invite - even demand - participation.

I'm not saying it's better or worse, it's just different. She seems to focus on muscular actions, rather than body positioning.

There's a magic in being in a Mysore room, an alchemy of group practice. I'm doing all sorts of things I had sort of backed off from in my home practice: chest and chin on the floor in Upavista Konasana, lifting heels in Kurmasana.

The Supta K adjustments have been spectactular. I never received very much help in this pose during my stint at Shala Central, but I always loved the 'calf roping' routine at Shala North.

DT's adjustment is lighter, but just as effective. I even bound to wrist for a brief instant today! I don't think I've ever come this deep in Supta K before! DT brought both legs behind my head and I was able to lift up for the exit. I can see how this pose is an important preparation for 2nd, developing skills towards the LBH poses. I'm glad I'm getting help with it.

I realised today that I had skipped Ustrasana yesterday. As I practised it today, DT encouraged me to bring my hips further forward in the pose. She said I should be able to lift my arms out to the side and hang there.

I decided to use my 'criminal powers' constructively and I did some extra hip and shoulder openers before working on my backbends. The preps were helpful. I feel like I'm using my legs more in UD. I walked in my hands twice in each backbend, held each for 6 deep breaths, coming down to rest in between.

I'm not feeling ready for dropbacks yet. I'll know when I am. It's not fear this time - it's the sense that my back isn't open enough. I think I need to do some extracurriculars, like laying over blocks or hanging off of the bed, to get my back opened up. I'm definitely feeling energy moving in my spine these days.

My practice took 105 minutes. Not bad! I want to start arriving closer to 6, when the doors open. That's my plan for tomorrow.

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First Day

2011-04-04T18:40:00.001-07:00

Sheesh. I make a few slight modifications to my beloved routine and POOF! My brain turns to soup! I'm feeling completely disoriented. I even forgot to bring my yoga pants to work. I had to teach my noon class in jeans!

It was SO strange getting up early this morning and going to the shala. It's not a new experience - I did this last year for over five months - but now I have to adjust to it all over again.

To be honest, part of me misses my old routine. I liked the sleeping-in part a LOT and there's so much stuff that just goes better *before* yoga, seated meditation in particular. I need to figure out a way to make meditation work after practice (or fit it in before practice). I only sat for 15 minutes this morning and it was awful. My brain was turning cartwheels.

I had a great practice. I moved through it efficiently. From the first surya to taking rest, it was about 95 minutes. It felt a bit disorienting after months of home practice. Even though the space is familiar (and it was wonderful, being back in this room!), we were facing an opposite direction than I'm used to. My dyslexic little brain was wimpering. I'm surprised I didn't skip any poses!

The teacher, DT, was warm and very welcoming. She spent a lot of time with me and offered feedback on my postures, good adjustments, lots of alignment tips. It was lovely getting an assist in Supta K! She deepened the bind and helped me get the exit. In Mari D, she helped me move deeper into the twist and I was able to take my wrist on the right side for the first time in months (the shoulder injury has prevented this lately).

I did three long UD and then some dropbacks against the wall. Using the wall was kind of fun and felt deliciously criminal, since it never would have been allowed with the previous teachers. My back wasn't feeling very open today but I received some help with alignment. Regaining my dropbacks and deeper backbends will be a 'process' I think.

I also learned that my lack of flexibility may be making Laghu Vajrasana more difficult. DT helped me come in and out of the pose while keeping my hips further forward but arching back more deeply. She also helped me root down through the shins so I was using my quads more. I'm mentioning this because I already feel sore!

All in all, it was a good experience.

Shala Local

2011-04-03T18:22:00.001-07:00

Mini Practice Report: I did my full practice on M/Tu/Th, went to Bikram Yoga on Wednesday and enjoyed a Primary-only Saturday. Friday was my day off, since Sunday was a Moon Day.

I'm gradually adding the jumps back into my vinyasas. After months of stepping-forward-stepping-back, I had forgotten how much *work* it is to jump around. Sheesh! It makes me SWEAT! Amusingly, it appears that I've forgotten how to jump. The ol' muscle memory isn't kicking in very well at all. I might have to watch tutorials on YouTube to regain the gist.

I did a few easy dropbacks to the futon this week. I've also been holding Urdhva Dhanurasana for a loooooong time (I'm up to eight long breaths), since I can't really deepen it any other way without brushing past the edge of sensation in my shoulder.

I've been waking up incrementally earlier all week in preparation for a return to a crack-of-dawn schedule. It worked. Today, when I was supposed to be having a lie-in, I was wide-eyed awake at 6 a.m. Drat!

Tomorrow, I'll wake at 5:45 with intention: I'm returning to a Shala for the first time in seven months. Another Astanga teacher has taken over the old Shala Central space for a four month stint (the old teachers moved to another location).

I love this room, with its east-facing windows, shiny wood floors and sweet energy. I've studied with this particular teacher once too, when she was teaching at Shala South.

She's not authorised by Command Central which allows her to be more flexible in her approach. She's more alignment oriented than most Mysore teachers I've studied with and less fussy about the nitty gritty rules of Traditional Astanga (but open to traditionalists practising in her room).

Currenlty, she's the only Mysore teacher in this city who will allow me to practice my Intermediate poses, so when I found out she was starting a morning Mysore, in a space I already love, I was pretty chuffed. I have a feeling I'll also be able to sneak in a few of the third series arm balances I've been playing with too. Maybe even get some tips!

She's promised to help me with my backbends.

The best part about this room is that it's in my neighbourhood, easy commuting distance via public transit and 10 minutes away if I ride my bike. I'll call it 'Shala Local'.

I'm going to have to stop naming the shalas of my city after the cardinal directions because there are getting to be too many of them! I think this is a *good* thing. We need more shalas, more variety. Shala Local is filling a niche: Mysore for people who aren't exactly sticking to the rules.

I like it!

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Review: Primary Series Blastoff

2011-04-01T06:46:00.001-07:00

I was excited and a bit surprised when I received a review copy of the new Richard Simmons "Primary Series Blastoff!" DVD in the mail. I didn't even know that Richard Simmons offered Astanga yoga!

On the back cover, it mentions that Simmons studied yoga with Pattabhi Jois in the late 70s, even visiting Mysore several times. Simmons credits Jois with inspiring his unique approach to fitness, saying: "Aerobics is the western Vinyasa Krama!" The liner notes show a photograph of Simmons with Jois, both wearing athletic shoes and hot pink scrunchy socks.

I eagerly popped the DVD into my computer to practise with this morning, figuring Friday is the ideal day to do the Primary Series with Richard Simmons. This practice isn't long - it's a 34 minute 'short form', comprised of Richard Simmons' favourite postures from the Primary Series. The Simmons Shala is a brightly lit room with funky mirrors and a solid wood floor.

Shala students are all using the brand-new Manduka product, 'Invisible Mat Pro' and they're wearing exciting 80s fashions from the brightly-coloured Lululemon 'Retro-line'. The students in this shala come from a variety of levels of practice - everything from I'm-too-lazy-to-lift-my-arms to *fistpump!huzzah!*

I love how Richard Simmons offers alternatives to the more challenging postures in the Primary Series without using props (except for athletic shoes, of course). For example, in Virabhadrasana A, Simmons instructs students to keep their arms at waist level in order to conserve energy for the seated poses. He calls this pose variation, 'Sumo Warrior':

Check out Simmons' unique take on Parsvottanasana. Students are encouraged to wiggle their hips and sing along to the pounding 80s music in the background:

Between postures, Simmons offers his own unique take on vinyasas. The class moves back and forth on their mats, showcasing fancy footwork and doing elaborate arm movements like 'pull it in' and 'push it out' (it reminded me of Bollywood dance moves) as well as 'the harvest' (an aura-cleansing arm-sweep) and - my favourite! - 'cross your heart'.

During the 'cross your heart' vinyasa, Richard Simmons croons encouragingly, while gazing deeply into the camera, "Be good to you! I LOVE YOU!"

Damn, I've never heard my shala teacher say THAT!

In the closing credits, Simmons recognises his shala students by name with brief descriptions of how the practice of Astanga Vinyasa Yoga has changed their lives. Here's a smattering:

- 'Tammy P. in Cinncinati OH' released 30 pounds and became a raw macrobiotic organic vegan.
- 'Melody R. in Richmond, VA' developed man arms and no longer spits at her co-workers.
- 'Alan B. in Lawrence, KS' now has a six-pack and installed a Shiva Lingam in his back garden.
- 'Laura C. in Seattle WA' stopped leaving anonymous mean comments on other people's Astanga blogs and no longer surfs the web at work.

Other practitioners mentioned obsessively buying statues of Indian deities, developing an urge to sit in Padmasana at work, becoming bold enough to wear tiny-yoga-shorts to the grocery store, and taking up dog walking.

I was uplifted by these stories of tranformation. Clearly, Simmons is a powerful and inspirational teacher. I was quite taken with his teaching style. As Richard Simmons gazed into the camera, dewy-eyed and sincere, I knew he was looking at ME! Throughout the practice he told how well I was doing, Not just saying 'good', but using whole, complete sentences, like: "You're doing GREAT!"

I truly enjoyed this DVD. The upbeat 80s tunes paced my Ujjayi breathing. The unique moves helped me to connect with my Bandhas in a new way. The clothing of my onscreen 'shala mates' was so bright, I had no choice but to avert my eyes and find my Driste (or wear shades).

I would heartily recommend this DVD to yoga practitioners in need of inspiration and a bit of colour. Thanks, Richard Simmons, for making me feel good about my Primary Series practice again!

Up next: A review of Paul Anka's new kirtan album, "Hanuman Swings".

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The stories we choose to tell...

2011-03-29T17:46:00.001-07:00

Whenever I read a blog post written in a melancholy tone, by someone who is wearing their heart on their sleeve without telling you exactly what that is - I always wonder. What's the story?

The blogosphere is a stange place. Our faces are pages and our stories are the ones we *choose* to tell. It's difficult to read about sadness and not want to hear the backstory too. Our hearts ask: "Why?"

Earlier this month, I gave Princess Fur her spring haircut. In the winter, I keep her body fur long for warmth, but in the more temperate months, I groom her like the almost-show-dog she is. She always looks gorgeous and turns heads. She was a half-inch too tall to show, but she'll always be my champion!

Clipping the winter fur from her body is like shearing a sheep. It's fun! When I flipped her over to shave the fur from her underside, something didn't look right. There was a lump. On her lower ribcage. About the size of a golfball. As I held her in my arms, open and tender with her little exposed belly beaming up at me, heavy tears dripped down on the dog, my arm, the clippers.

I was so afraid. Little dogs are not supposed to have big lumps. Big lumps spell trouble. I was in the last days of the Big Busy before spring break, but as soon as I could, I made an appointment with the vet.

And then I waited. And waited.

This story has a happy ending: The vet did his examination. The lump is benign and harmless (and it's still there - now commonplace, instead of terrifying). The Princess received a clean bill of health. We practicallly skipped home, stopping through as many dog parks as we could find on the way.

But I haven't forgotten that terror of Not Knowing, so I've been spending more time cuddling, less time surfing. I've been blogging less, personal journaling more. I've been sharing my stories privately with friends via email and over lunch.

I'm still practising, as always. But the ins and outs of my yoga practice seem less important these days. I just do the practice and let it go. I'm less attached, but the focus of my attachment has just shifted.

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Chasing sunbeams

2011-03-27T18:45:00.001-07:00

Don't let that sunbeam Princess Fur is baking in fool you: spring hasn't sprung yet. We had a big snowstorm on Wednesday that left us buried in over a foot of snow and it's still on the ground, since the temperatures have been dipping below freezing (with a -16 windchill today).

This isn't doing much to raise my spirits. Do. Not. Like.

Last weekend, to add insult to injury, I was hit with a bit of a tummy bug. I've never been so thankful for a Moon Day in my life! I really needed that rest. I still wasn't feeling 100% on Monday, so I did the Suryas and fundamental standing poses then loafed around with my legs up a wall.

On Tuesday and Wednesday, I did my full practice and I did Primary-only on Thursday morning.

On Thursday night, I did an additional Vinyasa practice at Studio East. By horribly incovenient coincidence, my LH started mere minutes before the class. I had so looked forward to this class, I was determined to carry on. I decided to tough it out.

So you can imagine my joy when H asked me to be at the *front* of the class (because the room was very crowded), then she helpfully pointed me out, as someone the class could follow for visual cues when she was busy with adjustments.

I cheerfully waved to the 27+ people from my spot in the very front, thinking: Yeah, just follow the cringing woman with the Buddha Belly and the raging PMS! I'll lead the way!

Thank goodness I wore black pants!

Actually, it wasn't bad at all and I had a fantastic class. That's my last bit of vinyasas-class-fun until the summer, though.

Friday was a horrific day for so many reasons. But the weekend was awesome because I could sleep in every day. Tomorrow is going to be very difficult! I'm back to my full teaching schedule and back to business as usual with my practice, at least for another week.

Because after that...everything is going to shift. Again!

Stay tuned...

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Furry, frightened and brave

2011-03-18T08:55:00.001-07:00

(photo credit: Associated Press)

If you know me in real life, you're probably aware that I kind of like animals more than people. Friends have been known to complain that they get a mere 'hello' from me before I drop to the floor and enthusiastically greet their cat with effusive praise and chin rubs. I adore both dogs and cats, but I'm openminded about ferrets, snakes, birds, even lizards. I just LOVE animals.

In the aftermath of the earthquake and tsunami, I was sad about the people, but I was more upset about the animals, especially the dogs (cats have a way of taking care of themselves). Pet dogs rely on humans so completely for affection, care and information. They are creatures of routine and when stripped of it, they become anxious.

If you haven't seen this video of two dogs who survived the tsunami, you MUST! It broke my heart a little:

I read one translation of the dialogue that implied that the dog was barking at the camera man to 'keep him at bay'. But that dog wasn't guarding his friend, he was seeking out help for him. I could read it in his body language; he was trying to draw attention to himself.

His actions spoke louder than any words. This dog spotted two humans. He ran a little bit closer to have a look, and yes! They're definitely humans! Humans (as all dogs are aware) have oposable thumbs and food. Humans can bring comfort. He barked once at the humans, then turned on tail and ran back, to lead them to his injured friend.

He patted the other dog gently with his paw. Maybe he was comforting him, maybe letting him know that help had arrived, or maybe he was using the gesture to bring human attention to the other canine (my dog has done this a million times - either tapping my arm to get my attention, or tapping her food bowl to remind me that it exists and it needs to be filled).

I burst into tears the first time I viewed it. I was moved by his survival, his compassion for the other dog and his courage in standing by and trying to get help.

If you look closely, you can see that he's filthy, wet and shaking. He's wearing a pretty chain collar with a fancy silver nameplate, obviously someone's beloved pet.

When something horrible like this happens, there is no civil alert siren for dogs and cats. They don't know what's coming and it's incredibly confusing and disorienting for them. Their worlds are literally turned upside-down. Emergency shelters won't take animals, so pets are frequently left behind to fend for themselves.

I know that there are thousands of humans suffering and many have died. And yes, I've made my donation to the Red Cross. But dogs and cats are suffering too and with the lack of resources and shelter space, it's rumoured that animals who manage to survive are being euthanized if unclaimed.

Below, I've compiled a list of organisation that are committed to helping stranded, lost and injured pets in Japan. A donation of 2000 yen is equivelant to $25 US dollars.

Please consider donating to one of these organisations. The first link offers information about the group, the second links directly to a donation page.

(photo credit: unknown, found at Huffington Post)

World Vets - donate

Animal Rescue Kansai - donate

Japan Earthquake Animal Rescue and Support - donate

The Animal Humane Association has started a Japan fund. 100% of donations will go toward animal rescue in Japan - donate

Japan SPCA - donate

Japan Cat Network - donate

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Too much candy makes you sick

2011-03-17T18:55:00.001-07:00

Wow, am I ever tired of the never-ending, when-will-it-die discussion of Scant Yoga Clothing. Just when I thought it was finally over for good, it popped up again in the blogosphere this week, just like an annoying relative who doesn't know when to leave.

Hey, Short Shorts! You've outstayed your welcome. Now scurry along and don't let the door smack you on your exposed buttcheeks.

I swear, I'm going to buy a pair of those miniscule shorts, then wear them the next time I go to Shala North and scare all my friends. Trust me, I'm NOT a person who should be wearing tiny shorts. My yoga shorts resemble granny-panties for good reason: I'm no longer twenty years old!

(although, I have to admit - the gentlemen pictured above are TOTALLY pulling it off!)

A few words about my practice...

I've been maintaining a 5-day practice schedule of Astanga. This week, I did my full practice (Primary, first 8 Intermediate poses) on Saturday, Monday, Tuesday and Thursday and went to a Bikram class on Wednesday. Tonight, I went to an evening Vinyasa class too, so I'm bone-exhausted.

I had a funny moment in the class tonight. All week, I've been teaching Galavasana in my classes, carefully chopping the pose into managable 'phases' so the beginning students won't feel too overwhelmed and I've also demo'ed the full pose for my students.

It's interesting the way this posture has popped up over the course of the week. I ran across a magazine article about the pose, then a friend who's fairly new to yoga wrote a FB status about learning the pose. Between hearing about it, reading about it, doing it and teaching it, by the end of the week, I was feeling pretty Galavasana'ed out.

As I headed to class this evening, I was thinking what a privilege it was to go to a class taught by a colleague and experience yoga as a student: "This is awesome! 90 whole minutes of 'me time' and fun vinaysa!" And almost as an afterthought: "I won't have to do Galavasana! Yay!"

Guess what the arm balance was tonight? Yup! What are the odds? This week, the universe was giving me more Galavasana than I could handle. I was so tired, I could barely manage it tonight! I totally tanked. My Bandhas said 'uncle'.

I'm SO glad I have the weekend off. Tomorrow, I'll practice Primary. With the Moon Day on Saturday and my regular rest day on Sunday, I'll have a two-day vacation from Astanga, though I may do a bit of vinyasa yoga.

Or I may not. Maybe I'll just sleep in! ;-)

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A Near-miss

2011-03-11T17:27:00.001-08:00

A flashback in time:
It happened during the mid-term exam period, my second year of university. I was writing my 5th exam in two days and I could feel a sense of lightness and relief washing over me as I inked the last sentence of my essay and closed the exam booklet. As I handed it it, my professor asked to speak with me privately.

"Is this your *last* exam?" she asked. I nodded. She put a steadying hand on my shoulder. "Go home and phone your family, hon. There's been an earthquake in California."

I ran back to my residence, heart pounding, tears streaming down my face. As I stepped into my room, I flipped the morning paper I'd tossed aside hours earlier and there it was, in bold headlines: "Devastating Earthquake Hits California". I hadn't seen it - I generally ignore the news, especially during exam periods.

I spent the next six hours frantically trying to phone my brother and my sisters in Crescent City. I still remember how frustrating it was, worrying and trying to get through the busy circuits.

I still have family in California, Hawaii and Japan. So you might think that I had a really stressful day today, but actually it was quite normal. You see, I still ignore the news most of the time. I usually don't even check the headlines in the morning. I didn't this morning.

In fact, feeling weary of the internet after the dramatics of the week, I didn't even check blogs or Twitter. I practiced the Primary Series. Then I wrote my morning pages and opened up a book.

At noon, I walked over to the private school to teach a class. I wasn't feeling up to cooking, so I treated myself to lunch opting, ironically, for sushi. That's when I heard the servers talking about 'the earthquake' and realised something was amiss. I pulled out my iPad and logged on to Twitter. A friend had just tweeted about 'devastation in Crescent City, CA'.

My heart dropped into my stomach.

So what did I do? I logged into Facebook, of course! I checked the pages of each of my siblings, plus my neices and nephews and stepmother. I was reassured by their statuses that everyone was safe. My sister says that her town is still evacuated. My niece is travelling. My other sister in Hawaii is out partying (probably) and my brother is *not* out on his boat.

They're fine.

I can't believe I'm saying this but here it is: THANK GOD FOR FACEBOOK. The site was down for a span today. I wouldn't be surprised if it's because so many people were checking on loved ones, like I was.

Next, I followed the links to the earthquake and tsunami footage in Japan. I felt, like many of you, helpless and awed and sad. I grew up on the sea, on a small sailboat, and few things conjure up more terror in me than tsunamis (hurricanes take a close second). I'm very familiar with civil alert sirens and evacuations.

My heart is breaking for all of those who lost homes and loved ones today. Twenty years after moving away from the coast, natural disasters like this still feel like a 'near-miss', like it could have been me. I feel incredibly blessed to be sitting here in my small home, cooking rice, walking my dog, following the rounds of a normal life.

I'm so lucky. My hopes and prayers are with those who weren't as lucky today.

Update: It was 'closer to home' than I thought. The marina I lived in as a child was hard-hit by the Tsunami. Docks broke free, 200 boats are reported damaged. Viewing the footage was eerie.

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An Unfortunate Choice

2011-03-10T12:22:00.001-08:00

I learned an important life lesson this week: When blogging about seasonal malaise, NEVER mention yoga clothing.

Especially shorts. Because, as small as they may be, they GROW. Substantially. Virally. GeezohmightyGawd!

Seriously, 'starting an Blogosphere Shitstorm' was NOT an item on my to-do list this week. I'm busy, people. Busy! Being depressed!

Just for the record, there are many, many things that make me sad right now. Losing work makes me sad. Financial stress makes me sad. Visits to the dentist make me sad (and broke). Potentially cancerous tumours in gentle little gray dogs make me sad. And (a tad selfish, but all the same) gaining a thick layer of fat around my middle because I've been eating myself into oblivon makes me sad.

But items of clothing? Not so much.

There's a promise I'm not likely to keep. *snort*

*sigh*

I feel like I'm sleep walking through life these days and I could go on and on about how glum I'm feeling, but I'm trying to keep it positive today. So.

Here are a few things that make me happy:

- Urdhva Dhanurasana: I know! It's crazy, isn't it? But I'm just SO happy that I can DO backbends, without pain. And I'm still walking my hands in. I walk in until my shoulder tweaks and then I stop. But it's AWESOME!

Over the weekend, I even did a dropback! It was late afternoon and I was feeling very open and figured I would hang back. I was so close, I just...dropped. It made me giddy-happy!

- Books: Since I don't do drugs or bungee jump, reading is my escape from reality. I've been devouring a book (or two!) a week since the new year. I just finished the Hunger Games series and it was *amazing*.

I'm currently trying to get into the Stieg Larsson books, but I'm stuck in the first chapter of the first book, trying to get interested. Is anyone out there a fan? Tell me it will get better, please?! I purchased the first two books on my Kindle, on good recommendation.

- Meditation: I fell off the daily-meditation-wagon for two weeks and couldn't seem to make time for it anymore - except on Wednesdays before Bikram class. I was doing it then because it was so automatic. So I made some space in my regular morning routine for meditation, right before I practice Astanga. If it's easy and kind of not-optional, I'll just do it! (like my yoga practice).

I've said this before, but meditation seems to be an all-purpose remedy for me - for Seasonal Affective Disorder, for healthy eating, for enhancing productivity. I feel better overall when I'm meditating.

- 750words.com: I used to write 'morning pages', a free-association journaling method, in a paper journal every morning before I did my practice. I don't know why I stopped, but when I did, it seemed too difficult to reimplement.

I stumbled across 750words through Kath's blog and I'm *loving* it. I've always been a sucker for statistics and analysis (especially if someone else is doing the number-crunching for me). This website tells me how fast I'm writing, which words I use the most and gives me little 'stickers' for acheiving goals. There's a monthly challenge and if you know me (2-year-yoga-streak, hello?), you know I'll be *totally* doing it next month!

- And finally, this makes me happy:

(via YoginiStar)

How could it not? :-)

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This post is not about Tiny Yoga Shorts

2011-03-09T13:19:00.001-08:00

Occam's Razor: One should not increase, beyond what is necessary, the number of entities required to explain anything

Translation: The simple explanation is often correct.

Allow me to set the scene:
It's mid-March in Canada. The weather is pure misery with no sign of spring on the horizon. A series of difficult and unfortunate events have transpired, leaving the Reluctant Ashtangi feeling glum and defeated. So she makes it all better by eating an ENTIRE 1kg Cadbury chocolate bar all by herself (in under three weeks!), thereby gaining 10 pounds and saying buh-bye to her bind in Supta Kurmasana. Now, she sits by the window, watching a series of endless, despair-inducing snow storms rage through the city. She weeps.

Translation: Sometimes, life sucks.

There are several different explanations for her odd behaviour. Let's review them:

Option #1: Late winter depression and cabin fever has finally set in.
Option #2: The public perception of Astanga is at risk of being sullied by Bad Reality Television.
Option #3: Tiny Yoga Shorts.

Applying Occam's Razor, please choose the appropriate explanation and provide a concise analysis. Bonus points for creative mentions of human genitalia and the proper Driste. Automatic 'A' if you know how to wrap a dhoti.

Extra credit question: Does the internet have a sense of humour? Are you sure? VERY sure?

Answers will be graded on clarity and originality.

By a pug.

P.S. I practised today! :-)

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Tiny things that are VERY SAD

2011-03-08T19:01:00.001-08:00

*throatclearing*

Well, hello there!

Yes, I'm still here, barely enduring the Cold and Ugly Season in the Great White North. To be honest, I haven't felt very inspired to write lately. It's probably due to a combination of seaonal ennui, boring practices and, oh yes, 'blogosphere controversy'. Last week, everyone was abuzz with a certain certified teacher and her (un)reality show.

I'm almost embarrassed to 'fess up to my reaction to that entire debacle, but here it is: I sat in my window seat and wept. There are a few different ways to interpret this behaviour:
~I'm a bit depressed
~I'm overly attached to the practice and my own idealistic conception of it

or (and this is my favourite!)

~teensy-weensie-tiny-yoga short are just VERY SAD.

*sniffle*

Take your pick. ;-) Moving on...

********************
I have been practising! Here's a rundown of the past...wow, has it really been a week? Yes it has.

Wednesday: I attended Peanut's Bikram's class. I wasn't feeling particularly energetic, so I was kind of 'going through the motions'. I don't imagine for a minute that Peanut doesn't notice stuff like that. And halfway through the class, he made a little speech about how it's possible to 'do the poses without *really* doing the poses'. It wasn't aimed at me specifically, I'm sure, but I got the message all the same: "If you can, you must!"

Thursday: In a nod to the Moon Day, I did my Primary-only practice. It was okay.

Friday: Moon Day. I didn't practice at all. I think this may be the first Moon Day in about two years that I've not done any yoga. I'm beginning to like this whole 'taking days off thing'. :-D

Saturday: I practised Primary and my Intermediate. I had an ordinary, but good practice.

Sunday: Day off! I didn't even take time to stretch my hamstrings (and boy, did I ever feel it on Monday!)

Monday: I attended Almond's Bikram's class in the morning. I really enjoy Almond's classes and I've missed going to them, so this was a treat. I like the way he cruises through the dialogue. His efficiency in teaching is one of the things that helped me break out of the 'futzing habit', both in Bikrams and my Astanga practice.

Tuesday (that's today!): Back to Astanga, I practised Primary and my Intermediate poses. My left hamstring was a bit sensitive, but I had a good, futz-free practice.

********************
In general, I'm feeling better about my practices these days and Astanga is starting to feel like a place of comfort and healing again.

For the past month, I've been practising Astanga four times a week and Bikram's two, adding up to a six-day week in combination. Starting this week, I've decided to add on an Astanga practice on Friday to bring my Astanga week up to five days (continuing to practice Bikrams one day per week).

I'm also working towards a more consistent Astanga practice with fewer breaks. Toward this end, I'm going to try to go to my weekly Bikram class on Monday, so I can practice Astanga 5 days in a row.

And here's some good news: My shoulder is healing!

Evelyn asked if I was icing the shoulder. I do own one of those fancy-schmancy velcro ice/compression packs but to be perfectly honest, I haven't been very diligent about using it. It's so cold here, the last thing I feel like doing is curling up in the window seat with an icy ice pack resting on my shoulder. But all of my non-ice-related activity/inactivity seems to be working for me.

Last week, I upgraded my Granny Vinyasas to include the transition from Upward Dog to Downward Dog. This was a big trigger point for pain when I first injured my shoulder, but there's no pain as I move through it now!

Also: I grabbed my wrist on the right side of Marichyasana C today and I'm binding to fingers in Marichyasana D (and close to getting the wrist on the left side).

And the biggest news of all: I'm doing three Urdhva Dhanurasana in my daily practice. Even better, today I walked my hands in! I walked in once in the second backbend and twice in the third. This is HUGE!

I'm pretty excited, because this means that I can begin to work towards regaining flexibility in these backbends. My shoulder was mostly pain free (there was a bit of sensation pushing up). I was able to straighten my arms and my breathing was smooth and consistent.

********************
Finally, here's a random photograph of manhole cover on a subway platform.

Wow. I feel SO much better now!

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Yoga Dog of Big City Canada

2011-03-01T18:04:00.001-08:00

Once again, not a bad practice this morning. It appears that my dread and anticipation of getting on the mat is far more traumatic than the act itself. Silly brain! *eyeroll*

I'm continuing to work on my Intermediate poses, with modifications for my shoulder injury. Here's the rundown:

Pasasana: I can bind on the left side, but not the right (I'm limited in the same way in Marichyasana). I've been 'doing my best' on the bad side, which means working within the limitations of the injury.

Krounchasana: The left side of this pose is the last hold-out for my gimpy hamstring - it hurts. I'm able to come into the pose with care, but it's not deep. The right side is fine, though, full expression.

Shalabasana: Terrific and easy! Thank you, Mr. Choudhury :-)

Bhekasana: It's out of the question right now. That particular rotation of the shoulder triggers the pain of my injury precisely. Even doing one side at a time is painful. Instead, I'm doing Supta Virasana to stretch out my quads.

Dhanurasana: This is another pose that has benefited from Mr. Choudhury's yoga regime. Parva Dhanurasana aggravates the injury, though (I re-injured my shoulder about a month ago rolling over to the right) so I'm not re-adding it until I'm fully recovered.

Ustrasana: Pure joy! I can clearly remember a time when I hated this pose, but now it's a high point. My favourite part is the hang back, when I can feel my legs working.

Laghu Vajrasana: I'm making steady progress. I lost some ground during the early days of the injury, but I'm getting stronger now. Good thing I'm having fun with this one, because I'm stuck here for the foreseeable future.

********************
I gave the Princess her Spring Fur Makeover on the weekend. The weather is warming up, so I felt a bit more confident cutting off 3 inches of hair from her body. It was a bit like shearing a sheep!

Do I detect an accusing stare?

The new haircut is in preparation for Princess Fur's exciting new project! She will soon begin filming the pilot episode of her new reality television series: "Yoga Dog of Big City Canada".

*throatclearing*

'Yoga Dog of Big City Canada' takes us inside the daily routines and dramas of Princess Fur, a miniature schnauzer with a passion for walkies, frequent naps and Greenies. A cold, drab, Canadian city forms a glamourous backdrop for the day-to-day adventures of our dynamic canine and her grumpy human companion, the Reluctant Ashtangi.

Follow Princess Fur's journey of self-discovery as she sleeps through the Primary Series, walks on the Ashtangi's Manduka mat without permission and begs for breakfast while her human companion is trying to 'take rest'.

This show will TRANSFORM LIVES, people!

No doubt her wardrobe will need to include eensie-weensie-tiny yoga shorts. Do they make these for dogs?

Stay tuned!

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The hokey-pokey and group hugs

2011-02-28T12:09:00.001-08:00

So I did practice and it wasn't SO bad. In fact, it went pretty well, all things considered.

My job during practice is to back off from any pain sensation in my shoulder. A couple weeks ago, this meant that I could barely transition between postures, I couldn't push into Urdhva Dhanurasana and Sirsasana was a touch-and-go affair.

This week, I'm able to do a complete vinyasa between postures - just without jumps. I step forward, I step back. It's like the 'hokey pokey' except I never turn myself around and that's not 'what it's all about'...but I digress.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Chaturanga. I can do that and I can do upward dog and downward dog. I can lift out of Bhujapidasana into Bakasana, but I lower down and step back to Chaturanga. I added lotus jumpbacks back in because they don't trigger any pain at all - and they're fun!

These are the nitty gritty details of my practice, the stuff that I would never normally discuss on my blog. Except...right now, they're HUGE. I don't even think about standing up from Urdhva Dhanurasana anymore. I'd be pretty thrilled if I could walk my hands into a deeper backbend. Or do a deep, satisfying Purvottanasana without pain. Or enjoy Prasarita Padottanasana C again.

The terrain has shifted and I'm shifting with it. It's 'Granny Yoga' at its finest!

********************
Since I can't obsess about standing up from backbends anymore, I'm trying to develop New Interests. My friend Evelyn is a trailblazer in this regard. Sidelined by a similar shoulder injury, she's immersed herself in dodgy cable television: Sasquatch sightings and UFOs. Plus, she's become a Cesar Millan groupie and taken up dog-walking.

Princess Fur's ears perked as I typed that last sentence.

I've been looking for a good hobby. Last weekend, I was checking out a friend's bookshelf and my eyes landed on the Complete Little House on the Prairie Seasons 1-8. The DVDs are encased in a box that resembles...wait for it!...a covered wagon.

I grew up with that show! Too good to be true! She was, understandably, hesitant to part with any portion of this bounty, but we negotiated and I walked out of there with the first four seasons.

I've been hunkered down on the futon ever since, watching a buck-toothed Laura Ingalls (Melissa Gilbert) utter syrupy lines like Home is the nicest word there is!

*blissful cringe*

Last night, I watched the episode where Laura (and Jack, the family dog) is bitten by her pet raccoon and Dr. Baker warns that Laura (and Jack! *sob*) may have been exposed to rabies.

The family fearfully waits for the rabies incubation period to pass. They huddle tearfully around Laura, but my sympathies are out in the barn with Jack, the dog, who is tied up, alone. Poor Jack! He doesn't understand why nobody loves him anymore. He whines inconsolably. Then he starts barking wildly.

When Pa walks out to the barn with a loaded rifle, I'm in torment. I can clearly remember sobbing my heart out when I first viewed this episode at age four. Even at that age, I liked dogs better than people.

I won't spoil the story for you, though I'll bet you can guess how it ends. *grouphug*

In an era of reality TV, it astounds me that anything so syrupy and heartfelt could have *ever* graced the airwaves of network televion. These days, 'Little House' would be too cheesy and innocent for normal kids to watch. They'd make fun of it then quickly turn the channel to a Lady Gaga video or a daytime talkshow featuring mothers who get sex-change operations then date their daughter's secretly gay boyfriends.

Which, of course, means I'm throughly enjoying my foray into 70s TV Nostalgia Land. Yay, the good old days! When the good guys were really good (burly Mr. Edwards, swinging down a dirt path singing 'Old Man Tucker' and kicking up his heels) and the bad guys were REALLY bad (Nellie Oslen, scowling under her blonde ringlets, bragging about the 'store-bought rug' in her family's house. And don't get me started on her *mother*!). The lines were so clearly drawn.

Evelyn is starting to believe in Big Foot. Me? I'm starting to believe that an entire town would show up to help Mr. Ingalls stack sacks of grain so he won't lose his team of oxen to an unscrupulous Irishman. Or that a schoolhouse full of children will cooperatively pretend to learn the alphabet in order to teach a teenage boy how to read the word 'boat'. When he later reads an essay of appreciation to the teacher, the children applaud in a standing ovation.

Awwww! Group hug!

That's me, 6 years old, in my 'prairie dress'.

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